Ponies: The Hangover
by ChaosReins
Summary: Discord tries planning a vacation just for himself and his bestie in Las Pegasus, but accidentally ends up taking all of the Mane 6 and Spike along for the ride - what could possibly go wrong? Plenty. After a cocktail or ten, they wake up with one heck of a mess on their hooves, but no recall of the night before. Can they remember the past before it totally screws up the present?
1. Chapter 1

**Ok. So. I normally write sci-fi but wanted to have a go at comedy for a change, so here it is. I got inspired to write this by a blog post I saw about Las Pegasus and also by AtomicPuffin's story 'What Happens In Las Pegasus' (which is also on Fanfiction and you should check it out) and also by the movie 'The Hangover' and various other movies (nerd points if you spot which ones). Anyway, I love Ponies - especially Discord and Fluttershy, who are both adorable and hilarious whenever they are onscreen together. Hope I've managed to bring some of the funny to this story, but whatever you think please review cos it makes my wizened, little writer's heart happy when I get reviews - even if they're bad. A** **ll characters are owned by Hasbro.**

* * *

Tuesday, 11am – Sugarcube Corner

"I'm just not sure if I should go for something big, white and meringue-y or something simple," A despairing Fluttershy said to Rarity and Pinkie Pie "I've been trying to make up my mind for so long, but I just can't choose!"

"Simple is best darling, take it from me." Rarity told her authoritatively "Sometimes less is more."

"Are you kidding?!" Squealed Pinkie Pie "If you wanna make an impression you gotta go BIG! Big and meringue-y every time!"

"Oh, but I just want everything to be perfect!" The Pegasus anxiously twisted a strand of hair.

Rarity sighed at her friend's indecision "Well, what does Discord like?"

Fluttershy opened her mouth to reply, then hesitated.

"Oh come now," The unicorn encouraged "You know him better than any of us."

"Um… chocolate?"

"Waitaminute," Pinkie frowned "What're we talkin' about here?"

The other two looked at her in surprise "Why, cakes darling," Rarity said.

"I've got Discord coming over for afternoon tea later," The Pegasus explained.

"O-h-h-h-h ok, lemme just rewind," Pinkie stood there for a moment staring into space as her brain readjusted, then grinned " _Totally_ with you now!"

Rarity giggled behind her hoof "Pinkie! Whatever did you think we were talking about?"

"I'm trying to choose a cake," Fluttershy said quickly "But I'm just not sure which one to pick."

Pinkie threw a foreleg around her "But you have Discord over for tea parties all the time, why're you getting all jittery about this one?"

"Oh but this is different," Her friend assured her "We haven't seen each other in such a long time."

"But doesn't he have tea with you every Tuesday?" Rarity frowned.

"Well yes we do have Tuesday tea… and sometimes we see each other on Thursdays."

"And don't you also go to his place too sometimes?"

"Well, occasionally, but that's on Saturdays. But last Tuesday he _missed_ one," Fluttershy's eyes widened "Because he was busy."

Rarity gave a roll of her own eyes "Oh, what a hardship!" She said sarcastically.

"Oh yes! So I just want to make sure that everything is just right when he comes over today. I don't want him to think I'm not taking our friendship seriously!"

"Well in that case, maybe you should just get a chocolate one, if he likes that one best?" Pinkie pointed out various different examples under the glass cake counter "We've got Chocolate Fudge, Chocolate Marble, Everfree-Walde-Kirsch-Torte, Chocolate Buttercream, Death-by-Chocolate, Reanimation-by-Chocolate, Triple Chocolate Fudgicide – "

Fluttershy clasped her hooves together "But… I don't really _like_ chocolate!"

Rarity gasped at this sacrilege "Darling! What kind of mare _doesn't like chocolate?_ "

"It's just a little rich for me, I don't mind it sometimes _…_ " Fluttershy sighed "I suppose as Discord's my houseguest I should get a chocolate one."

"Or we could just buy two cakes?" Said a voice next to her ear.

The Pegasus started in surprise, then turned to see her expected houseguest had unexpectedly appeared standing behind her.

"Discord!" She cried, her face lighting up "I didn't think you were going to get here until this afternoon!" She flung herself into his arms and he grinned down at her. Then a frown creased that angelic brow "Is something the matter?"

"Tut tut Flitterflutter," He admonished, releasing her "Does something need to be amiss for me to visit my dearest, sweetest friend a little early?"

"Oh no, of course not!"

"Girls," He said belatedly to Pinkie and Rarity "Always a pleasure, so nice to see you both." Then he tapped a huge hourglass that suddenly appeared on his wrist "Oh would you look at the time?" Then he said to the Pegasus "We're going to have to run if we're not going to be late for afternoon tea!"

Rarity sniffed "It's 11 in the morning!"

"Oh well, elevenses then!" He waved her objection away with his lion paw "Got to do these things properly, haven't we? We'll take the Raspberry Meringue Palomino and the lemon cheesecake. _To go_ please."

Fluttershy gave a little frown as Pinkie packed the cakes carefully into their cardboard cartons and handed them over "But those are my favourites, not yours."

"I've told you before my dear, I'm actually pretty lukewarm about cake," She looked hard at him "Ok, so I'm being selfless, is that _so_ hard to believe?" He exclaimed in wounded tones.

She laughed and turned to the others "See you later girls!"

"Adieu ladies!" He gave the other two a brief wave, snapped his fingers and both of them disappeared. At the same moment, a large pile of bits materialised on the counter.

Pinkie and Rarity looked at each other

"Well, how do you like that?" The Unicorn huffed.

"I like it a lot!" Said Pinkie "He paid so much, I get to take an extra-long break."

"Well it is a shame they didn't take the Reanimation-by-Chocolate," Said Rarity sadly "It looks amazing! It's sad to see it sitting there,"

"All lonesome and neglected," Agreed Pinkie.

"Just waiting for somepony to come along and whisk it away," Sighed Rarity.

"Wanna go halve-sies?"

"You are _on_!"

* * *

Tuesday, 11.20am – Fluttershy's Cottage

Discord and Fluttershy appeared in a flash of light in the living room of Fluttershy's home, causing Angel bunny to squeal in alarm and drop the triple decker carrot-salad sub he'd been eating.

"Oh Discord, you'll have to excuse me," She said breathlessly "But you're so early I haven't got anything ready yet! I haven't made the sandwiches or the tea or set out the china or – "

"Psssh! I didn't come here to have you wait on me hoof and paw, I just wanted to see you." He snapped his eagle claw and the table was immediately set with tea for two; there were sandwiches, bone china cups and even a vase of flowers. It was a nice arrangement, only slightly spoiled by being up on the ceiling.

"Oooopsie!" He grinned and snapped his fingers again and the tea table disappeared and reappeared on the floor in front of them.

Fluttershy giggled "You could leave it up there; I know how you feel about gravity."

"But I thought we'd agreed that when we're at your place, normal physical laws apply. Just for you, I will defer to gravity!" He bowed ironically and took up his usual place on the couch – ignoring Angel Bunny's angry squeaking – and watched her out of the corner of his eye as she flitted around, adjusting the flowers and setting out the cakes they had bought on cake stands. She was extremely easy on the eyes, particularly when she happy, like she was now.

It had been some months since their defeat of Queen Chrysalis and her changeling army and although he, Starlight, Trixie and Thorax were now hailed as heroes throughout Equestria, Discord was not enjoying his newfound acceptance.

In fact, it bored him.

 _"I have doomed myself to a lifetime of tedious official events, having to talk to tedious ponies clamouring to shake my paw!"_ He grumbled to himself _"Makes me wish I'd never saved their worthless tails in the first place! Why I've hardly been able to spend any time with the one pony I **was** actually trying to rescue – "_

"It's so good to see you," She said as she poured the tea "I thought you'd forgotten all about me."

He frowned, puzzled "Whatever do you mean, my dear?"

"Oh… uh… well," She looked down at the ground, partially hiding behind her long hair "Since you helped save Equestria you've been making all these new friends – "

"New friends!?" The Draconequus sat bolt upright and dropped his teacup with a clatter of crockery, unable to help his indignant tone "What new friends? What in the world are you talking about?"

"Oh Discord! I didn't mean it as a criticism! I just – oh dear!" Her face instantly became a mask of worry and she looked adorably flustered "I don't mean there was anything wrong with – um – I mean… I know I said you should expand your circle of friends but – uh, you've been so busy and… there are all these official events…"

"Oh please! Those affairs are so tiresomely insipid it makes me want to pull my ears off!" He demonstrated, only just managing to catch them as they flapped off towards the ceiling "Take that business last week, what an extravaganza of ennui! I can't believe I cancelled Tuesday tea for _that_!"

She giggled, but struggled on "Oh but you do have new friends surely? I mean there's Starlight and Trixie and… and now you're meeting all these important ponies!"

"My dear Fluttershy," He said, in mock outrage "You cut me to the quick! How could you imagine that I would prefer the company of a bunch of boring stiffs over you?"

"Boring? Oh but Princess Celestia must be introducing you to so many interesting, cultured – "

"Pfah!" He scoffed "Cay-Cay wants to ensure I behave myself by making me into a hero. She wants all Equestria to know it so that I did not flee when duty called!" Suddenly his voice was loud and booming and he was dressed in some sort of tights and jerkin ensemble, striking a heroic pose with one foot resting on top of Angel Bunny, who squealed in fury "But quite honestly, Flutters it's not really me. Just between us …" He gave her a conspiratorial, toothy grin as his heroic disguise dissolved and the rabbit struggled free "I can't flee away from _her_ fast enough!"

She frowned "That's not a very nice thing to say about the Princess!"

"Oh forget about Dull-lestia!" He burst out, suddenly aware that he had allowed himself to get side tracked "I didn't come here to talk about _her_! I came here to spend some time with my dearest friend before I'm dragged away yet again."

"When do you have to go?"

"Why this very afternoon darling, that's the very reason I came to find you early – otherwise I'd have had to cut our teatime short."

"Oh, really?"

"Sadly yes," He inspected his talons "As part of my new and wearisome heroic duties I have been asked by you-know-who to attend the All-Equestria Summit."

"Oh dear," She said disappointedly "That is… what I meant was… I'm … happy for you?"

"I can't imagine why!" He said, with feeling "The summit will be dull as ditch water. I'll think myself very unlucky if I can't sneak out after an hour or two at most. The one thing in its favour is that it's taking place in Las Pegasus this year and I've always rather liked it there…" He looked at her downcast face "But just say the word Flitterflutter and I won't go, I'd much rather spend the time here with you anyway!"

"Oh no!" She cried "If the Princess has asked you to go, you can't let her down! What would she think?"

"Oh Celestia would…" He was about to dismiss her worries, when an idea came to him; an idea so brilliant he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before "… _would_ be very disappointed if I don't show up," He said slyly "But alas, I don't think I can face it…"

"Oh but – "

"But if you won't let me skip it and stay here, why don't you come with me?" He continued "After all, it would be much more fun for us friends to go together!"

"Really?" She gasped "Oh Discord, how sweet of you to think of it!"

He snapped his talons again "I've done more than think of it my dear, I've just made reservations at the best hotel in town, we can go see any sights you care to name and I can transport you there with my magic! All you need do is say 'yes'!"

When she didn't say anything for a few more seconds, he started to get anxious.

"Do say you'll come, please Flitterflutter? I'll be _so_ bored without you, I don't think I could bring myself to go!"

"Oh Discord of course I will, you've gone to all this trouble!"

His grin widened to the point where he worried his head might split in two; after a long hiatus he would finally get to spend time with his very favourite friend!

 _"Just imagine,"_ He gloated to himself " _She'll be all mine for three glorious days! I can spend just as much time with her as I like with her with nopony else to interrupt! And maybe I can get her to relax and let her mane down enough enjoy something chaotic – nothing too extreme,"_ He mentally checked himself _"Maybe some dancing, staying out all night, just a teensy little bit of light chaos. After all, I never thought I would enjoy tea parties and picnics. Just imagine how much fun we would have if she enjoyed some of the things I like! Not that she isn't absolutely perfect as she is…"_

As he sat there staring at her and daydreaming, he noticed something odd: it was as if a soft, pink mist was blurring the edges of his vision. All of a sudden, he felt a little giddy. Not only that, but he could hear birds singing and they were not the ones from outside. These sounded like they were in the room. He had noticed this had started happening to him even before the whole Changeling business but he thought he'd gotten over it _"Strange,"_ he thought dizzily _"I must be coming down with something…"_

"The girls will be so thrilled!" She said suddenly.

"Will they?" He sighed, too lost in his own private reverie to follow what she'd been saying.

"Why yes, of course!" She turned to him with eyes sparkling "I know Twilight will be attending the summit anyway, but it's so thoughtful of you to suggest bringing all of us along too! I know Pinkie will absolutely love the party atmosphere in Las Pegasus! And Rarity – "

His jaw dropped in dismay _"She expects the others to come with us?!"_

For some odd reason, he felt a sharp little pain twist in his chest. Quickly he snatched up his teacup to cover his dismay but as he looked down, the tea swirled. Spirals of milk parted like clouds to reveal a vision of himself; but dark and vengeful looking.

 _"We will **not** tolerate interlopers in our relationship with the Pegasus!" _Wrathful Discord snarled _"We will not allow **mere mortals** to thwart our – "_

"Shhhh!" Discord hissed, hastily setting down his teacup and putting his saucer on top of it for good measure. Fluttershy was still talking to him " – and I know Rainbow was disappointed that the map sent me and Applejack there and not her. Oh, and Applejack, we never got a chance to do anything fun last time – _"_

She hadn't noticed his odd behaviour so, feigning unconcern, he sauntered over to the window so she couldn't see his expression.

He considered himself fairly good friends with the other five former bearers of the Elements of Harmony, but Fluttershy was different. She was the one he liked above all the others and when it came to her, he _was_ selfish and greedy. Since their Treehugger disagreement, he'd learned he had to conceal his burning envy if he wanted to avoid upsetting her, but it was difficult… so very difficult.

Discord was not used to having to hide his emotions. Even though he knew he shouldn't begrudge her spending time with other friends, there were times when the jealousy was torture.

What he really wanted was to keep her all to himself.

 _"But I don't want the others tagging along!"_ He grimaced _"I suppose it's a sign that I'm still a novice at this 'friendship' business, otherwise I wouldn't mind so much – that's what she told me before. I know Twilight's already going but I'd assumed she'd be busy with serious, royal stuff. I wanted this trip to be just the two of us – just myself and Fluttershy!"_

As he thought this the clouds were ripped apart by Wrathful Discord, who glared down at him out of the sky with eyes of fire.

 _"NO! This shall not be! We will not share her with **anypony**!" _Boomed the apparition _"We are a **God!** We will reshape the fabric of reality to **our** design! We **demand** –" _

"Oh stop flexing your muscles, you windbag!" Discord muttered, hurriedly shutting the curtains.

He turned to find Fluttershy staring up at him with those enchanting blue-green eyes "It's a really kind thought Discord," She gushed "I can't imagine anything better than spending time with you and all our dearest friends!" Suddenly doubt sprang into her eyes "Oh… that _was_ what you meant by us friends going together… wasn't it?"

Looking down at her he found himself unable to do the selfish thing, it was very unlike him _"She seems so pleased that the others will be coming… I want her to myself … but I can't disappoint her! Oh well…"_

Quickly he hid his claw behind his back and snapped his talons. The hotel would find the extra rooms, his magic would see to that – even if he had to bend reality a little to do it. Disappointed as he was that she wasn't equally keen to spend time alone with him, he couldn't bring himself to shatter her illusions when it seemed to make her so happy.

"Of course my dear," He said, plastering on a fake smile "We'll all have such fun together, I can hardly wait!"

* * *

Tuesday 12.30pm – Fluttershy's Cottage

After he'd disappeared, in a great hurry to tell the others about the trip, Fluttershy sat on the sofa staring distractedly out of the window. She knew she ought to start packing but she just felt so disappointed in herself.

"Oh! I can't believe I did that – actually saying I thought he'd forgotten me!" She blushed furiously "Just when more ponies are starting to accept him, I have to try and make him feel guilty about it! Did you think he seemed upset?"

Angel shrugged and folded his paws, indicating that as far as he was concerned the Chaos God was big enough and ugly enough to take a little criticism.

"Oh, but you're wrong Angel," She shook her head "He can be very sensitive about these things! After all, he's still learning how to relate to ponies as equals. I don't want him to feel he can't have other friends…"

She tailed off, not wanting to tell Angel what she was really thinking. As part of the court of the Princess of Friendship, she had been at one or two of the same events as him. She had seen him being charming to all those elegant, cosmopolitan types, making them laugh, and she'd felt something that did not normally trouble her tender heart; envy.

She'd been touched that he'd risked his life to save her friends and herself from the Changelings. It had surprised her how overjoyed he'd been to find them all alive, but ever since she had found herself getting jealous and upset when she didn't see him " _I_ _guess I'm just feeling insecure because he's not as available as he used to be_ – _although we do still see each other a lot_. _I wish I could put my hoof on why it's bothering me so much!"_

The remark had been intended as a joke but a part of her had meant what she'd said; she _was_ worried that he would forget about her. Shy and tongue-tied as she often was; how could she compete? She didn't worry about his friendships with Twilight and the others because … well … _"It's not very nice to admit it but I never minded because he's always made it clear that I was his favourite, that we had something special! Maybe now he'll find other friends more confident and funny and entertaining than me – more like he is – and then I won't see him anymore…"_

She winced again, feeling guilty _"I can't believe I'm been getting jealous when things are going so well for him – I'm a horrible friend! And after the talking to I gave him about Treehugger? I'm a hypocrite too!"_ A determined expression settled on her face "Well not this vacation!" She said out loud "Discord's made a big effort and it's time to stop being such a wallflower. We're going to have the best time ever and I won't let myself get shy or tongue-tied or jealous, not even one little bit. I can do this! Las Pegasus here I come!"

Back in his favourite spot on the couch, Angel put his paw over his face.


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday, 4pm – The Four Stallions Hotel, Las Pegasus

Twilight gazed around the lobby; the thick carpets; the marble pillars; the giant, glittering crystal chandeliers and smiled "It really was very nice of you to arrange for us all to stay here Discord," She said, in disbelief "I mean; I thought the hotel I was booked into before was fancy, but the Four Stallions? This must have cost a small fortune!"

"Believe me, it was the very least I could do." He said feelingly, glancing over to where Applejack and Fluttershy were talking to the concierge. In fact, he couldn't quite believe it himself. He'd started out planning this trip only for himself and his best friend. Now, here he was with four extra mares (not counting Twilight) _and_ Spike for a vacation in Las Pegasus – how had that happened?!

" _It's lucky money's no object to me,_ _because_ this _is probably the most expensive misunderstanding in history!"_ He gave a little grimace _"And to think I arranged all this because I couldn't bear to upset her! I'm not the instigator of conflict I used to be… "_

But as he watched her trot over to re-join them, she gave him a sweet smile and he found he couldn't regret it.

"Simply gorgeous darling," Chimed Rarity beside him and it took him a moment to realise she was talking about the hotel "I must admit I was a little peeved when you rushed off so abruptly earlier but I can see now why you were in such a hurry to get away - what a simply marvellous surprise!"

"Yeah! It's like you've turned into a big, scary-looking fairy godmother who grants wishes!" Squealed Pinkie, "Except for making it rain chocolate milk and whipped cream because you never remember the whipped cream, ya big tease!" She punched him playfully in the side.

He allowed himself to bask in their praise for a moment " _Maybe going on holiday with seven friends instead of one isn't so bad after all!"_

"Well seeing as how I'm the best friend ever," He said slyly "You all owe me!"

"Can't say Ah like the sound o'that!" Applejack said wryly, as she and Fluttershy came over "Sounds like a whole bushel o' trouble to me!"

"What?!" Discord protested "I'm on my very _best_ behaviour! I just spent two whole hours at an event so boring it made me want to beat myself to death with a copy of Twilight's summit speech." He pulled out huge stack of paper and used it to hammer himself into the ground like a tack.

"Hey! It wasn't that long!" Twilight rolled her eyes, but good humouredly.

"But all I want is for us to spend our trip having some _real_ fun!" He spluttered, springing up out of the ground again "Bonding and so forth! After all," In a flash, he was wearing a white robe and strumming a harp with a halo glowing above his head "I'm a model of virtue now, just ask my new bestest pal Princess Celestia!" He gave Fluttershy a wicked grin and she sighed, but she was smiling at least.

"Can't the 'bonding' wait?" Asked Applejack "Ah'd prefer to take a load off. If Ah'm gonna stay in this fancy schmancy place Ah'd like to at least get a look at ma room. And how 'bout that pool?"

"And what about room service!?" Spike chipped in, holding up a menu he'd swiped off the front desk "It's amazing here, you can order literally anything you want! Rubies, diamonds, a triple chocolate fudgicide Sundae -"

"Oh no you don't!" Discord swiped the card out of his claw "I'm not having this vacation turn out like guys night."

Spike looked up at him with big, hurt eyes "I thought you _liked_ our guys nights?"

"Oh I _do_!" The Draconequus patted the little dragon's head with his lion paw "But tonight isn't _guys_ night, it's guys _and_ girls night."

"Yeah and that means it has to be at least twice as cool as guys night!" Rainbow Dash said "AJ, we can't come to Las Pegasus and spend all day holed up at the hotel; I say we ditch the luggage A-SAP and go out on the town."

"Ooh yes!" Pinkie bounced up and down excitedly "Las Pegasus is party pony-central! We just gotta go out and paint the town red, Pinkie style – and by red _I mean pink!_ "

Twilight looked up from her Las Pegasus Guidebook "Well I was hoping to take a walking tour of Mustang Canyon – " She began, but was cut off by a chorus of groans from the others "What!?" She said in disbelief "It's supposed to be one of the great natural wonders of Equestria! Besides, Discord and I are _supposed_ to be attending the summit soiree tomorrow night, so we can't go too crazy." She did her best to ignore the Draconequus making gagging noises beside her.

"Oh please darling!" Rarity exclaimed "I didn't come to the City of Light to go trekking through some dusty crevasse and, no doubt, get pounced upon by some awful manticore or dragon (no offence Spikey Wikey!). Just for once can we _please_ go somewhere we have a chance to get dressed up, show off our fabulousness and sample the high life in civilised surroundings!"

At her words, an illuminated scoreboard appeared behind Discord with two tallies, one marked "Game" and the other marked "Lame". Each tally had three points in.

"So that's one, two, three and - oh look!" He pointed at his own chest " _Four_ of us in favour of some – ahem – well behaved carousing." A fourth point appeared in the "Game" tally and he shrugged as Twilight gave him a hard look.

"So I guess that means you might have the casting vote Fluttershy!" Rainbow turned to the yellow Pegasus "Are we in or are we out?"

Fluttershy froze and Discord suddenly realised his mistake. He knew she would hate to be put under this kind of pressure; having to decide for the whole group and worse, having to choose between her friends. No matter what she picked, somepony would be disappointed.

"If she starts out the night like this, she'll have a terrible time!" He thought in alarm "And then we won't get to have fun together like I want!"

Quickly he snapped his fingers and the scoreboard disappeared. Instead he transformed himself into a pair of dice, sitting in Fluttershy's outstretched hoof. Each side of the die had his face on it – the dots made up by his eyes.

"On second thoughts," Said the Dice-cords "As we're in the gambling city, why don't we let the fates decide? Your roll my dear; evens we go out, odds we stay in?"

Fluttershy hesitated amid more plaintive cries from the rest of them, then she shook her head

"No." She said firmly.

"I beg your pardon?" The Dice-cords frowned, bemused.

"I mean, no thank you. I've made my choice. I want to – " She gave a little smile "Go out and party?"

As her friends gaped in surprise, Discord re-materialised in his own shape, looking as if he was about to spontaneously combust with glee.

The Pegasus fidgeted nervously as they all stared at her "I mean… um… if that's ok with all of you?"

* * *

Tuesday, 8pm – The Skyhorse Bar, Las Pegasus

"Ah don't care what ya say, Ah'm never gamblin' with ya again, ya crooked, hornswagglin' varmint!" Applejack nudged Discord in the ribs.

"How dare you suggest I'd ever cheat, AJ?" He smirked "Maybe you just have a talent for rolling ssssnake eyesss!" His forked tongue flickered out between his teeth and the earth pony laughed reluctantly.

"Don't worry AJ, I lost my money too!" Spike said wryly "It just doesn't make sense, I was doing so well!"

"Oh yes, what _can_ have happened?" The Draconequus rolled his eyes at the Dragon "Are you not familiar with the saying "the house always wins"?"

"But _you_ won!"

"Oh yes, but chaos theory works in my favour in games of chance. After all, I practically invented those games!"

"Well, rolling dice and watching a little ball spin round a wheel isn't my idea of fun," Drawled Rainbow "But this is more like it!"

They were seated around a table in a glitzy cocktail bar which boasted amazing views over the city, the place was already beginning to fill up.

"I wholeheartedly concur!" Rarity gazed around, enraptured "Oh, just look at all the beautiful ponies! The dazzling glitterati! Finally somewhere I feel like I belong."

"My guidebook says the Sky Horse Bar is one of the most famous bars in Las Pegasus," Twilight read from the slim volume that had not left her hooves since they had arrived "And apparently it's particularly well-known for its amazing cocktails."

"Oooh and they all look so delicious, I can't decide!" Pinkie squeaked, looking at a drinks menu "Oh wait! Yes I can, I'll have this green, fizzy one and the pink gooey one with cherries and the one with the cute little umbrella in the top – "

"Woah! Slow down Pinkie, we've got all night," Twilight put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder and held up the guidebook "And there are plenty of other sights to see – "

"Look Twi, you slow down if you want to," Rainbow waved over a passing waitress "But some of us actually know how to have a good time!"

The Princess bristled "I know how to have fun! Right, Spike?"

The dragon coughed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly

Dash smirked at her "I don't mean rearranging your library kind of fun, I mean _real_ fun! You need to loosen up. Put the book away and stop being so uptight."

"I am _not_ uptight!"

The blue Pegasus shrugged "I'll have a Mare-quila Sunrise please." She said to the waitress, ignoring the Alicorn's angry scowl.

"Rainbow, will y'all quit yer teasin'!" Said Applejack "Twilight can be just as much fun as the rest of us, when she's a mind to be."

"When I've _a mind_ to be?!" Twilight said crossly, slapping the guidebook down on the table "Gimme one of those Mare-quila Surprises. I'll show you who doesn't know how to have a good time!"

"Mare-quila _**Surprise**_?" Rainbow laughed "You got the name wrong and you haven't even had a drink yet!"

Twilight looked at her furiously, mouth framing some angry response, when Discord held his paw up.

"Now, now, girls. Much as I _am_ enjoying this little fracas, why don't you leave the disharmony to the professional?" He stretched and cracked his knuckles when suddenly a factory whistle blew above their heads "And – oh, would you look at that? I'm off the clock! So let's try and order our drinks without killing each other shall we? I'll have the same as Rainbow and our dear Princess and let's all lower our hackles and be pals again." He grinned at Twilight, who looked distinctly peeved.

"Oh yes, one of those for me please!" Pinkie said with a little bounce of excitement.

"And me!" Rarity and Applejack both said at the same time and laughed.

"And I'll have one too. Um.. please?" Discord looked down in surprise at Fluttershy, who was sitting beside him. She had an odd look on her face; her mouth was set in a determined line. When she saw him looking, she quickly smiled and said "Well, we are here to have fun – yay fun!"

He grinned at her stupidly, unable to help _himself "Things are going so well,"_ He thought, in jubilation _"We're going to have such a wonderful time!"_

"You sure, sugarcube?" Applejack shot Fluttershy a look of concern "I don't wanna be a wet blanket, but it ain't usually your kinda thing – "

"Anything you girls can handle, I can handle too!" The Pegasus answered stubbornly.

Spike raised a claw "Can… I get one of those cocktails?" He asked, hope written all over his face, then withering under the gaze of both Applejack and Twilight "Uh, I guess I'll just have a milkshake."

As soon as the drinks arrived at their table, Twilight grabbed her glass and downed it in one.

"Darling!" Rarity gave a shocked squeal "That was rather unladylike!"

"It's a cocktail, not a shooter Twi!" Dash cried.

"What's the matter Rainbow?" The Alicorn raised an eyebrow "Afraid you won't be able to keep up?"

"Pfuh! As if!" Dash knocked back the glass without a drop spilt "I can do this all night!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow "Well then, whaddaya say we order some real drinks?"

"That was just the warm up!" The Blue Pegasus bragged.

"Me next! Me next!" Pinkie swallowed down the contents of her glass in the blink of an eye.

"Ooh, this is all so macho!" Discord drummed his talons frenetically on the table.

Just at that moment, a foghorn voice rang out from the direction of the bar "Well hellooo your Highness!"

They all looked around to see a portly but well-dressed unicorn with yellow fur and an unconvincing toupee bearing down on them. He was trailing an entourage made up of other well-heeled but rather starchy-looking stallions who nevertheless seemed to be accompanied by some very attractive females. A sugar pink earth pony with a pink and white striped mane was draping herself all over him.

Instantly Twilight was back in Princess-mode, a polite smile spreading across her features.

"Oh Lord Mayor, how nice to see you again!" She said, then turning to the rest of the group "Girls, Spike? This is the mayor of Fillydelphia."

"Just call me Big Cheese!" He inclined his head, completely oblivious to the fact that his hairpiece had flopped forward to reveal his shiny scalp. Twilight nodded diplomatically, ignoring stifled giggling from Pinkie and eye rolling from Rainbow at being interrupted.

"Mayor Cheese, these are my friends from Ponyville," Twilight went round the table introducing the others "And of course, you already know Discord." She added.

"Oh sure, how could I forget?" The unicorn nodded enthusiastically "This is my, uh, friend, Candy Canes." He turned to the pink and white female "Candy, meet Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. And this here's Discord, the Lord of Chaos! We met just today at the Summit." He nudged the Draconequus "Thank Celestia you livened that place up!"

"Delighted to be of service," Discord said flatly. He remembered this Mayor now as a crashing bore, just one of many who had suddenly started cosying up to him now he was in the Princess's good books.

" _I didn't come here to be Celestia's court jester,"_ He thought irritably _"He's lucky I don't turn him into fondue!_ "

"You sure were a scream at the summit!" The unicorn continued, oblivious to Discord's lack of enthusiasm "Those shindigs are usually duller than a rusty horseshoe."

The Draconequus grimaced "No kidding!" Ignoring Big Cheese's gratified smile, he turned towards Fluttershy and out of sight of the stallion, let his eyes cross to the point where the pupils ricocheted and bounced around his eyeballs. She tried to give him a censorious look but he could tell she was struggling not to laugh.

Whilst Candy had been twittering excitedly at Big Cheese's name-dropping, his words had also snagged the attention of another mare; a white unicorn with deep red tresses even more elaborately styled than Rarity's. The clinging, purple dress she wore matched her hungry, violet eyes; eyes which had already noted how large piles of money kept appearing out of thin air whenever a waitress brought drinks to their table. At Big Cheese's introduction, she stopped half-heartedly flirting with a male companion and turned a hundred mega-watt smile on their party.

"Oh Cheesie, you're so naughty!" She said to him in a low, melodious voice "I can't believe you're not going to introduce me?"

"As if you'd let me get away with that!" Big Cheese chortled "This is Glamour Puss, she's the singing sensation of the Las Pegasus stage!"

"Just _Glamour_ darling," The unicorn scolded him playfully "Both onstage and off, you know that!"

As the Mayor of Fillydelphia snorted with laughter, she turned her attention back to their table "Well I declare; it is an honour to be introduced to such _important_ ponies."

"Well that's very –" Twilight started to say but Glamour cut her off, ignoring the Alicorn's look of incredulous affront and leaning towards Discord.

"How exciting to meet the actual _Lord_ _of Chaos_ ," She said, her voice lingering over the title "And from what I hear you're the most powerful being in all of Equestria!"

"Guilty as charged," Discord inspected his eagle talons in a bored fashion "But don't say it too loud or we shall be mobbed by all my adoring fans."

"I'll bet you could handle them, you look like you could handle _anypony_." Glamour fixed him with a smouldering look from under long lashes "You should come and see me after my show," She purred "I'd love the chance to thank you properly for saving us all from the Changeling hordes!"

Discord briefly considered responding with some withering reply or even using his magic to drive these ponies away. This mare and her friends were getting in the way of what promised to be a very entertaining evening. Finally, he realised politeness was the quickest way of getting rid of them without causing a huge scene and disrupting everything. He flashed Glamour a brief, insincere smile.

"Oh you're too kind, but I fear I must decline," He answered smoothly "I'm with my friends tonight and currently on vacation. Pulling entire countries back from the brink of disaster does tend to take it out of one."

She gave a little pout "Well when you do get bored here at the _Ponyville_ table," She shot a sly glance at Fluttershy "I'll be at the club downstairs. Au revoir, _my Lord_."

And with a flip of her tail she turned and swished off, the purple spangles on her dress flashing as she walked.

"Hoo-boy!" Big Cheese punched Discord jovially in the arm "She's somethin' ain't she?"

"Indeed," He looked down in irritation at the stallion.

"Did you see that?!" Rainbow exclaimed to Discord, after the Mayor and the rest of his party had left "She was _totally_ giving you the come on!"

"Why so shocked Dashie?" The Draconequus raised his eyebrows at her "That just proves she's got excellent taste."

At that moment there was a loud bang right next to Discord, making him jump. He turned to see that Fluttershy had drained her drink and slammed the empty glass down on the table. To his surprise she looked almost… angry.

"I don't know about her taste but her _manners_ leave a lot to be desired - implying we're a lot of dull, provincial stick-in-the-muds!" Cried Rarity, as Fluttershy continued to stare after the other ponies with burning eyes.

"Where's that waitress?" Said the yellow Pegasus "We need more drinks!"

* * *

Wednesday, 8.30am – The Four Stallions Hotel, Las Pegasus

"Celestia have mercy!" Twilight croaked as she resurfaced from the black depths of drunken sleep "Why do I feel so awful?"

Her tongue felt thick and furry and her head was thudding like it was going to burst. Even opening her eyes was painful; they felt like they were full of grit. She looked around in bewilderment. She groaned as she spotted an empty Mare-quila bottle lying next to the bed, beside it was a glass with only dregs left in it. Even the sight of it made her stomach lurch a little.

She just had time to notice what a terrible mess the room was in, then stopped dead as she realised something even worse "Wait a minute, this isn't my room!"

Her saddlebag wasn't on the back of the chair where she'd left it, and instead of her own clothes hanging in the wardrobe there were somepony else's.

Suddenly she heard a loud snore. She looked down in horror to see a shape in the bed next to her and a jet black mane on the pillow. Dreading what she might find, she carefully lifted the sheet to reveal a white Pegasus stallion, obviously dead asleep.

Her eyes bulged _"Who in the wide world of Equestria is that!?"_

As she gasped, he snorted and rolled over. She waited a moment; hardly daring to breathe in case she woke him. When he didn't move again she lifted the cover oh-so-gingerly and slid out of bed. He turned over but didn't wake up.

She scrambled backwards out of the bedroom and was surprised to find herself in another huge chamber. This must be a suite, she realised " _Who is this guy to have such a big room?"_ She wondered.

This room was in an even worse state than the bedroom; drifts of fluffy, white feathers lay everywhere, as if there had been some sort of massive pillow fight; in one corner a glass table had been overturned and the table top shattered into tiny fragments; empty bottles and glasses were left on every surface and scattered over the floor. The curtains were still drawn.

Twilight tiptoed through this scene of devastation as quietly as she could, then nearly swallowed her tongue as a blanket covered lump on the enormous black sofa suddenly moved and stretched. To her immense surprise, she recognised the head that poked out.

"Rainbow?!"

The blue Pegasus stared at her groggily, then her eyes popped in astonishment "Twilight!?"

 _"What are you doing here?"_ They both said at the same moment.

There was a yawn and a rustle as a second shape moved under the blanket.

Rainbow's expression froze but, despite her efforts to shush whoever was under the covers, another head emerged.

"Pinkie?" Twilight gasped.

"Who is it? Ohhhhhh, it's you Twilight!" Pinkie said "Hey, you don't look so good."

"What in the hay are you two doing here!?"

"Well we – hey, wait a minute!" Rainbow narrowed her bloodshot eyes "We don't have to explain ourselves until you tell us what _you're_ doing here first!"

Twilight opened her mouth to argue, then she sighed "I don't know! I don't really remember much of last night, I just woke up in bed with somepony I don't even recognise – "

"Why are you whispering?" Asked Pinkie.

" _Because I don't want to wake him up!"_

"He's still in there?" Rainbow's eyes widened and she slid off the couch, trotted over to the bedroom and stuck her head round the door. Then she turned to Twilight with an incredulous grin on her face.

"Twi! That's Jet Stream!" She hissed, when the other two looked blank she said "The captain of the Cloudsdale Wingers?" When that didn't get a reaction she went on "A totally awesome Pegasus air hockey team?"

Twilight suddenly looked very green "Omigosh I'm gonna be sick!"

She stumbled over to the ensuite bathroom, tore open the door and rushed inside.

Pinkie and Rainbow gawked. In the background they could hear Twilight being noisily ill, but neither of them could stop staring. In the bathtub, glaring at the intruders with beady red eyes, sat three pink flamingos.

"OK I have no clue how those got there," Rainbow whispered "But let's get our flanks outta here now!"


	3. Chapter 3

Wednesday, 9am – The Four Stallions, Las Pegasus

Somehow, Twilight, Rainbow and Pinkie managed to escape Jet Stream's room without letting the flamingos out of the bathroom _or_ waking its sleeping occupant. As an afterthought, Twilight hung the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. Then the three of them began to drag themselves downstairs for breakfast – or rather two of them began dragging themselves downstairs. Twilight and Rainbow were both suffering from the after-effects of their Mare-quila binge, but Pinkie Pie bounced along as fresh as a daisy.

"How can she _not_ be feeling completely awful?" Twilight whispered _sotto voce_ to Rainbow.

"Duh, because she's Pinkie?" Replied the Pegasus, then she gave Twilight a sly wink "By the way, nice work sister!"

"' _Nice work'_?!"

"Yeah, you scored with the sports star; kudos!"

The Alicorn winced, still suffering from her throbbing head "I don't know if you noticed Rainbow, but I don't think I did anything to be proud of last night. Even if I could remember what happened!"

"Well, I _do_ kinda-sorta remember you spending a lot of time dancing with him," Said Pinkie "And you woke up in bed together after having a skinful of booze, so I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that you – "

"Okay, okay!" Said Twilight, clearly mortified.

"Oh relax Twi," Said Rainbow Dash "So you bumped hindquarters with the hockey captain – big deal!"

"But I don't know anything about him! I didn't even know his name until you told me!"

"It's just a hoof up, it's not like you have to start going steady," Rainbow sighed "I mean I wouldn't include it in your next letter to Princess Celestia or nothin' but sheesh, just chalk it up to experience!"

"Hey what about you?" Twilight said suddenly "What were you two doing anyway?"

"Well what does it look like we were doing, silly?" Pinkie giggled "Just having some girlie funtime!"

Twilight looked at Rainbow, who shrugged and nodded. The Alicorn took a few seconds to process this information "Wait you mean … hang on, you two can remember what happened last night?"

Dash shook her head and took a breath to speak but Pinkie jumped in "Oh no! Actually I don't remember much after we started dancing with the hockey team," She said cheerfully "But it's not like this is the first time we've ended up doing the bump and grind after a crazy party!"

This time the Pegasus swung round in irritation "Pinkie!"

"Sorry Dashie, but she did catch us in bed together. I thought it was kinda obvious. I mean Twilight's a smart cookie, I'm sure she would'a worked it out for herself."

"Yeah but you didn't have to tell her about the other times!"

"Sooo," Twilight began slowly "Are you two an … item now or what?"

"I told you Twi it's just a hoof-up!" Dash snorted "Just because you knock hooves with somepony that doesn't mean you have to start dating them. Me and Pinkie were just having a good time, right Pinkie?" She looked around "Pinkie Pie?"

They both turned to see Pinkie had stopped dead "But Dashie," She said plaintively "Are you saying it didn't mean anything to you?"

The Pegasus stared at her, dumbfounded "Oh Pinkie, I'm sorry – I didn't – I wasn't – I never meant for – uh – I mean – I just thought we were just fooling around!" She wailed "You thought we were… _serious_?"

Pinkie stood there with her lower lip trembling for a few seconds. Then suddenly she grinned "Gotcha Dashie!" The Earth mare bounded over and ruffled her friend's rainbow mane "Sorry but I couldn't resist, you're such a crack-up!" And she bounced off down the hall " _Lalalala!_ "

"Huh, very funny!" Rainbow glowered after Pinkie.

Twilight giggled behind her hoof, then her face turned serious as another thought occurred to her "So… while I was busy seducing Jet Stream and you two were busy seducing each other, where was everypony else? We'd better go look for them!"

"They're probably still asleep," Grumbled Dash, still annoyed about being teased.

"Omigosh!" Twilight's eyes widened in horror "What about Spike? I can't believe I left him on his own!"

"Relax Twi, I'm sure he's fine," Said the Blue Pegasus "I'll bet they're lying poolside, nursing the mother of all hangovers – where I'd like to be!"

"Why don't we check their rooms?" Called Pinkie.

* * *

Wednesday, 9.20am – The Four Stallions, Las Pegasus

Luckily, as the rooms had been booked together, they were on the same floor and virtually all on the same corridor. The three friends worked their way down the hall, knocking on each door in turn.

There was no answer from Spike's room, although Twilight called through the door and banged on it for a while, getting progressively more and more worried when the Dragon did not appear. Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity's rooms all seemed to be likewise deserted.

Discord's room happened to be a little apart from the others, further down the corridor and around a corner. As they approached, they all noticed the 'Do Not Disturb' sign hanging on the doorhandle but knocked anyway. There was no answer.

"Do you think he's feeling as lousy as we are?" Rainbow asked.

"Discord? Does he even get hangovers?" Twilight frowned "Now I come to think of it, I can't even remember if he seemed drunk or not." She grimaced "It's so frustrating not being able to remember!"

"Shhh, you guys," Pinkie pressed her ear to the door "I can hear something weird in there!"

"Pinkie!" Twilight scolded "We really shouldn't be listening at his door!"

"Hey, lemme have a go," Rainbow put her ear to the door alongside the earth pony "Sounds like running water!"

The Alicorn shrugged "Maybe he left the shower on?"

"No it's louder than that, it sounds like… a river or a waterfall or something," Her eyes widened "And birds! I can hear birds in there!"

"Oh noooo," Twilight groaned "Not more flamingos!"

"D'you think we should we go in?" Pinkie asked.

All three of them hesitated. Nopony wanted to go bursting into the trickster god's hotel room uninvited, especially not when he might be asleep in there. Who knew what they might find.

"Look," Said Rainbow "Whatever freaky stuff Discord's got going on in his hotel room, I can't handle any more weirdness on an empty stomach! Let's just go down to the pool and grab some breakfast. Then we can figure out what to do about finding the others. They might all be downstairs having breakfast already."

At that moment, a bellpony came hurrying down the corridor towards them.

"Oh Princess Twilight!" He panted "I've been looking all over for you! I tried your room first thing but there was nobody there!"

"Oh yes, sorry," Twilight blushed "I was – ahem – up early."

The colt was too flustered to notice her embarrassment and pulled an envelope from his pocket "An urgent message came for you this morning, your Highness!"

"Oh, thank you!" Twilight took the envelope with her magic and opened it, skimming the contents quickly.

"Omigosh!" She cried and took off down the hallway. Pinkie and Rainbow looked at each other for a moment and then pelted after her, Pinkie pulling three bits from her mane which she tossed to the bellpony before she rounded the corner.

"Twilight!" Said Rainbow as she and Pinkie managed to catch up "What gives?"

"It's the others! We have to go help them!"

"What is it?!" Pinkie cried "Are they all ok?"

"They're in big trouble! We have to go right now!"

"Go where?!" Rainbow demanded in frustration.

Twilight skidded to a halt and thrust the crumpled note under their noses _"To the jailhouse!"_

* * *

Wednesday, 7am – Las Pegasus Jailhouse

"Ooooooh, I think I'm dy-y-y-ying!" Rarity moaned, rolling over and putting her hooves over her head. She wasn't sure what was worse, the sickness, the headache or the smell of stale booze that was assaulting her nostrils.

Things were not improved when she looked around and realised she wasn't in a plush hotel room at all. What this room lacked in plushiness, it made up for in filthy, bare, grottiness "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Rarity?" She heard Spike's voice from somewhere nearby, it was hard to tell in the dim candlelight and the fug of alcohol.

"Spike?" She turned and saw the little dragon, just uncurling from the floor.

"It's OK Rarity, it's me!" He said.

"Ah'm here too!" Came Applejack's unmistakeable country twang to her right, though she sounded a little woozier than normal. When Rarity turned, she saw the Earth pony lying on the straw only a few feet away. She looked awful, as did Spike – red eyed and rumpled. Rarity supposed she probably didn't look too much better. Her mascara felt as if it had melted down her face and she was sure that her mane was full of stinking straw. As she moved, her head throbbed painfully.

"Thank goodness! I thought I was here on my own," She said and then looked around again "What is this terrible place?" She said in appalled tones.

"Danged if'n ah know!" Applejack said, sitting up and rubbing her head.

" _It's the Las Pegasus jailhouse!"_ Wheezed a gurgling voice and a toothless old Earth pony with a long white beard hobbled forward from the shadows " _But don't even think of trying to_ – " Here he succumbed to a powerful fit of coughing, bent double. The three of them waited politely until he had finished hacking and spluttering.

"Don't even think of trying to escape." He finished, in a much more normal voice.

"The jailhouse?!" All three of them yelled.

"Yup!" Said the greybeard, "Name's Old Timer; you youngsters spent the night in the cells."

"But why?!" Spike demanded "Have we been kidnapped and thrown in the deepest, darkest dungeon of an evil wizard who won't rest until he's conquered all of Equestria and taken a beautiful unicorn princess as his bride?"

Old Timer considered this for a moment "Ah don't reckon so," He said "This is the drunk tank!"

"But … what are _we_ doing in the drunk tank?" Quavered Rarity.

"Aw shoot Rarity, don't ya remember anything?" Applejack said, pressing her hoof to her forehead to relieve her pounding headache "Ah mean, ma recollection's a little fuzzy but Ah do recall Twilight and Rainbow Dash getting us all to drink those crazy shooters!"

"Well ya sure made one ding-dong of a noise when they brought yuh in!" The grey pony smiled gummily "Feudin' and a'fightin', darn well woke me up!"

"Wh-a-a-at?" Rarity shrieked in horror "We were locked up for being drunk and _fighting!_ I can't believe it! I won't believe it! _"_

"Well whether ya believe it or not," Said Applejack "We better find a way to get outta here and fast!"

"But he said it was useless trying to escape!" Said Spike, indicating their fellow prisoner "I mean you musta been in here for years, right Old Timer? Just look how long his beard is!"

At that moment there was a rattle from outside the cell and a stern looking police unicorn in dark glasses trotted into view, jangling a set of keys "OK Old Timer," He said "It's all over for you!"

"You mean you're gonna…" Spike gulped "…execute him?"

The blue unicorn stared at him for a long moment and then both he and the old pony burst out laughing "Of course not," The cop chuckled "I mean he's free to go! Up to your usual mischief were you, you old rascal?"

Old Timer got up to leave "Now Blue Streak, I dunno what I'd do without ma regular spell in the cells. Gets me out from under ma old lady's hooves!"

The police unicorn shook his head wryly "Drunk in a public place? You should know better at your age!"

Encouraged by this friendly exchange Spike made a move towards the exit "Does this mean we're free to go too?" He asked hopefully.

Immediately the unicorn slammed the cell door in his face with a clang "Don't even think about it punk!" He said grimly "You hoodlums can stay here until you get hauled up before the judge tomorrow!"

"The judge?!" Applejack exclaimed "Now just what in tarnation do we need to see a judge for?"

"All three of you are being charged with drunk and disorderly conduct." He told her "The ponies you assaulted want to press charges."

"Oh, this is a nightmare!" Rarity said "We have to do something, get a message to Twilight somehow!"

"That's it!" Applejack turned back to the police officer "We're here in Las Pegasus with one of the most important ponies in all Equestria, Princess Twilight Sparkle! She's attendin' the Equestria summit."

"We're staying with her at Four Stallions," Added Spike "Please can you get a message to her there right away and let her know that we're here? I'm sure she'll be straight over."

" _You_ know the Princess of Friendship?" The unicorn said dubiously.

"I'm her assistant!" Said the dragon.

"Oh yes darling, we're extremely close!" Smiled Rarity regaining some of her composure "She's probably out frantically searching for us right now and I'm sure you wouldn't want her to find out you had deliberately withheld information about where her very dear friends have got to."

"Well I dunno…" Blue Streak still looked doubtful, but finally decided it wasn't worth upsetting royalty "OK, I'll send your message."

"Thank you." Rarity said sweetly "I'm sure the Princess will be just _so_ grateful! I mean she must be worried sick."

When the police pony had gone, Applejack breathed a sigh of relief "Well now, Ah'm sure Twilight'll be right over here in a jiffy and then we can get this whole mess straightened out."

Spike gulped "As long as she _is_ at the hotel and not in a jam like we are!"

The two mares looked very worried at this unwelcome thought "Ya think that's likely?" Asked Applejack.

"The state we were in last night, who knows?" Said Spike "I guess that's what you get when you agree to go on vacation with the Spirit of Chaos!"

"Ya think Discord's behind this?" Applejack's brows raised in surprise.

"Well, maybe not directly behind it, but even when he's not trying to cause trouble you gotta admit things get out of control a lot faster when he's around." Spike sighed "I wouldn't be surprised if we're not the only ones who woke up somewhere weird this morning!"

* * *

Wednesday, 9.30am - ?

Fluttershy could hear a strange sound, on the edge of consciousness; continuous white noise, like the roaring of water. Her lashes flittered against her cheeks.

Then her eyelids snapped open.

"Oh my!" She breathed "I don't think I'm in Las Pegasus anymore!"

The place she had woken up in bore almost no resemblance to her hotel room, or to any hotel room she had ever seen.

For one thing there was no ceiling. Instead, there were clouds drifting above her in a pink sky and islands floating overhead. From one of the floating islands, a waterfall poured down into a vast pool. All around her she could see plants; there were palm trees and giant, exotic flowers. Butterflies hovered amongst the huge blossoms and flocks of brightly coloured tropical birds flew past, squawking.

" _Where in Equestria am I?"_

She blinked in surprise as she began to notice other details _"This giant four poster bed I'm lying in wasn't in my room... but I think the nightstand was, or one just like it… and I'm sure that carpet on the floor is the same as the one in the hotel... I think I might be at the Four Stallions after all, but then… what happened to this room?"_

Then, slow but unstoppable as the dawn, realisation crept over her. She knew where she must be.

At that same moment, she felt an arm curl around her, squeezing her tightly up against something warm. With heart-stopping inevitability, she turned over and found herself muzzle to snout with…

" _Discord?!"_


	4. Chapter 4

Wednesday, 9.30am – Las Pegasus Jailhouse

"Oh, what _can_ be taking Twilight so long?" Rarity fretted.

"Just be patient Rarity," Spike patted her hoof "I'm sure Twilight's on her way, she'd never desert her friends!"

"Ah hate to admit it Spike, but Ah'm worried." AJ frowned "It's been more than a couple o' hours at least since we sent that message and it ain't like Twi to be late. Do ya think she even got it?"

"She'll _be_ here!" The dragon insisted.

"Well if she takes much longer I'm seriously going to have to demand they get something done about the décor in here," The unicorn sniffed "This rotting straw and chilly stone motif is _so_ last century!"

At that moment they heard the clang of a door opening and Blue Streak returned, bringing a visitor with him.

"Twilight!" The three of them cried, overjoyed and then all began talking at once.

"Oh darling you can't imagine how glad I am to see you!"

"Ya sure are a sight for sore eyes!"

"I knew you'd come through for us Twilight!"

"Spike! Rarity! AJ! Thank Celestia you're ok!" Twilight said "I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get here!"

"Shucks sugar, all that matters is y'all're here now!" Said Applejack.

"Yes Twilight," Rarity said urgently "You simply must explain to this dear officer that we're not criminals!"

Twilight frowned in bemusement "What are you guys even doing in here?"

"We're not sure Twi," Said Spike "None of us really remembers what happened last night but – "

"We've been arrested," Said Rarity "For _fighting!_ Can you imagine _me_ brawling in a bar like a common thug? Not that I'm suggesting Spike or Applejack would ever do such a thing either – " She said hastily as the other two glowered at her.

"Is this true?" The purple alicorn asked in disbelief.

"Yes your Highness," Blue Streak shifted uncomfortably "They were arrested at a bar last night after all three were involved in a bust-up. The stallions they assaulted have said they want to press charges. Tomorrow they'll be up in front of the judge."

"I see," Twilight thought for a moment "Do they have to stay here until then? Can't they come back tomorrow?"

"But your Majesty, I wouldn't want any of them to just disappear…" The police unicorn was obviously not happy with having to disappoint a Princess.

"Officer, you have my personal guarantee that if you release them into my supervision, I'll see to it they come back to answer the charges and I'll sign anything you like to that effect!"

"I'm sorry your Excellency," Blue Streak was visibly sweating now "But I really don't have that authority!"

"Well, I can see your hooves are tied." Twilight said regretfully "In that case I'll need to borrow my dragon assistant for just a moment. Spike? Take a letter to Princess Celestia, tell her I won't be able to attend the reception – "

"Now wait, there's no need for that!" Stammered the police unicorn "I'm sure I can trust the word of the Princess of Friendship without any need to trouble Princess Celestia!"

Twilight gave him a sweet, diplomatic smile "Thank you Officer. It's such a relief that the force has ponies who know the value of friendship."

* * *

Wednesday, 10am – Las Pegasus Police Station

"You really saved our tails in there Twilight!" Spike threw his arms round her legs when they were finally outside.

"I was glad to Spike," Twilight hugged him back "I just wish I could make all this trouble go away so easily."

Rainbow Dash was incredulous "You're not seriously gonna make 'em go back tomorrow and face the music?"

Twilight gave a guilty shrug "I'm sorry Rainbow but I have to. I gave my word as a Princess, I can't break it – what kind of example would that set?"

"Ah think Twilight's right," Said Applejack "Whatever happened last night we gotta go back and hold our hooves up!"

"But darling, how can we own up to anything when we don't even know what really happened?" Rarity cried "And the whole scenario sounds so unlikely, I just can't even picture it!"

Spike looked at Twilight, Pinkie and Rainbow "I suppose you three didn't see what happened?" He asked.

The three mares looked very uncomfortable "Actually Spike – " Twilight began.

"We-e-e may be suffering a little on that score ourselves," Dash continued.

"Yeah! We got so blasted we ended up sleeping in some random stallion's room and none of us can remember how we got there!" Pinkie finished for them.

"Well, we can't!" She said, as the other two sighed in exasperation.

"Wait a minute," Rainbow said suddenly "You guys spent the night in the slammer and we spent the night in the hockey captain's room, but where in the wide world of Equestria did Fluttershy and Discord get to?"

"You mean they aren't back at the hotel?" Rarity asked.

"No," Twilight said "I mean, I don't think so! We knocked on the doors of all the rooms, including theirs, and there was no answer. When I read your note I just assumed they'd be at the police station too!"

"Well Ah hate to say it but last night it woulda been useful to have that varmint around," Applejack said "Sure can't imagine _him_ staying locked up!"

"Come on you guys," Rainbow Dash was suddenly frantic with worry "We gotta go look for Fluttershy!"

"Maybe she's just in bed – you know – passed out?" Said Pinkie "We were all pretty wasted last night."

Twilight nodded "We probably should get back to the hotel but don't worry too much Rainbow, I'm sure – "

"Yeah, but what if something happened to Fluttershy?!" Rainbow wailed "How come she didn't answer her door?"

"Steady there pardner," Applejack put her hoof on Rainbow's shoulder "Ah'd make a bet that wherever Fluttershy is, that's where Discord'll be! Ah may not remember everything that happened last night, but Ah _do_ recall him stickin' to her like caramel on a candy apple."

Rarity groaned and massaged her temples "Well wherever they are, they can't _possibly_ be in as sticky a situation as we are!"

* * *

Wednesday, 9.25am – Discord's Hotel Room, possibly at the Four Stallions

"Um…. Discord?" Fluttershy whispered.

"Mmmmphh." The Draconequus mumbled, snuggling up to her. He was obviously still fast asleep.

She hesitated. It felt cruel to disturb him but she couldn't just lie here forever. What if he didn't wake up for hours? She tried again _"Discord? Wake up!"_ She hissed.

Slowly, he drew his head back until they were face to face. Then his eyes slammed wide open in shock, staring into hers.

" _Fluttershy?!"_

Neither of them moved for several minutes.

"Soooo…" He said finally "I can't help noticing that we're… you know… "

She gulped "In bed together?"

"Yes, quite so." He said with a worried grin "Goodness me! How can this have happened? Do you remember? Because I can't remember a thing."

"No Discord, I can't remember either. Oh, we must have had so much to drink last night!"

"Oh yes, cocktails… Las Pegasus," He said "I suppose that explains how we come to find ourselves in this – ahem – position. And how are you feeling, not feeling sick or anything?"

"Fine, I think."

"Because apparently it's common to feel very sick the morning after. That is, the morning after a night of heavy drinking!" He amended hastily "Is what I meant. Obviously!" He flashed her that worried smile again.

"I have a slight headache but otherwise I feel ok… I mean fine. I mean… good!"

"Oh _good_!"

They lay for several more minutes staring into each other's eyes, both too flabbergasted to move. Discord was slightly concerned to find the pink mist descending on him once again _"Must be the hangover!"_ He thought.

She sighed "Well…" She said uncertainly "I guess at some point we should get up and …uh…" She tailed off. What had she been going to say? She couldn't even remember. Somehow she was finding it very difficult to string thoughts together at this precise moment.

"Oh, yes. Of course Flitterflutter."

He finally released her and sat up.

She heard his hiss of indrawn breath and turned to see him whisk his eagle claw behind his back "What is it?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing! Nothing at all!"

"Discord – "

"I swear it's absolutely nothing you need worry about!"

"Discord, just tell me what's wrong." She said patiently.

"Promise not to overreact?"

"I promise."

He stretched his eagle claw out towards her. She didn't realise what he was doing for a moment until she suddenly noticed something glinting on one of his talons.

It was a gold ring.

She reached out to take hold of his claw to inspect it and as she did so something fell forward from under the bedclothes. It was another ring on a chain around her neck. This one held a large and very sparkly diamond.

She stared at both rings for a moment and then back up at him "But…" She felt like her brain was playing catch up, the alcohol was still muddying her thought processes "But what does this mean?"

"Well," He said "I'm no expert in these matters but I'd say it looks like we got spliced; tied the knot; took the plunge – "

She frowned "We got … _married_?"

"I mean let's not jump to conclusions, but you're wearing a ring and so am I and we woke up in bed together this morning!"

"But _how? Where? When!?"_

"How do you expect me to know?"

"Because you were there!"

"Well so were you!"

He sighed and glanced about, then lifted a piece of paper off the nightstand, holding it between his claws as if it might bite him "Oh look, here's our certificate. How very… _binding_."

"So what happens now?"

"We could get it framed?"

She gave him a look.

"Oh, haha! You mean about everything else. Well I'd say congratulations are in order my dear, you've just snagged the most eligible bachelor in Equestria! Aren't you the lucky mare? And judging by the enormous rock around your neck I'd say I'm turning out to be a pretty generous husband already, wouldn't you agree?"

She sighed, knowing he always talked like this when he was agitated.

"Discord it's ok," She said "Whatever happened I'm sure we can figure it out together." She looked around thoughtfully "Your room; was it like this before – I mean, before you went out yesterday evening?"

"No," He looked around "I think we can safely assume I did this after we got back."

Despite everything she smiled "You did all this for me?"

"I suppose I must have done," He gave her a hesitant smile in return, calmer now that he could see she was neither sobbing nor angry "Do you… like it?"

"It's lovely."

He looked genuinely pleased at that. Then he suddenly gripped her hooves, uncharacteristically earnest "Oh Fluttershy can you ever forgive me?"

"Well I'm not sure that you've actually done anything wrong," She teased him.

He grinned, quickly back to his old self "Oh I don't know about _that_ ," He said "I think the waterfall is a trifle ostentatious! Judging by that and the gigantic sparkler, I'd say drunk me obviously isn't very subtle."

She laughed "I think I can forgive you!"

"And besides," He said, letting go of her hooves and beginning to pace more slowly "Just because we woke up in bed together, doesn't mean anything happened – "

She sat up in bed and pulled back the chequered silk sheets, then her eyes widened "Discord –"

"We were both completely inebriated – "

"Discord?"

" – and it was probably very late – "

"Discord!"

" – so we can't know for certain we actually – oh, I'm sorry my dear, you were saying?" As he turned to face her, his eyes bugged and his mouth fell open, for once utterly speechless.

Now she had thrown the sheet off, he could see what she was wearing underneath.

It was skimpy and also tight. It was lacy and sequin-y as well. There were feathers, lots of feathers. There were pearls. There were gemstones. There was a definite basque-y feel to it.

The whole confection was a sparkling, shimmering white.

Finally he managed to say "Did _I_ do that?"

She flushed "Well, it isn't mine!"

"I take it all back," He croaked "Drunk me is a **genius**!"


	5. Chapter 5

Wednesday, 10am – Discord's Hotel Room, (kind of) at the Four Stallions

Fluttershy was sitting out on the terrace.

Ordinarily the rooms at the Four Stallions only had a balcony, not a huge terrace like this one, but at some point during the previous evening Discord must have decided that wasn't good enough. As with most of the Draconequus's creations, it was slightly odd in that it was built on nothing, floating impossibly in mid-air.

They had got the hotel to send up breakfast. Usually he could have conjured that up too, but not this morning.

"What would you like my dear?" He'd asked "I don't know about you, but I can't face the outside world without some sort of sustenance."

"A fruit salad, please? Oh, and maybe a regular salad too. I'm so hungry!"

"Coming right up," He snapped his claws and one of the pillows turned into strawberry jelly.

"Strange…" He tried it again and then again, producing a rain of iguanas and a flock of flying oranges before Fluttershy hurriedly grabbed his claw in her hooves.

"Discord is… is everything ok?"

"I can't believe that I'm saying this on what is effectively the first day of my honeymoon," He said staring at his talons "But I find myself incapable. My magic seems to be on the fritz. I'm sorry my dear, this has never happened to me before!"

"It's ok," She said sympathetically "Maybe we could just wait a little bit and then you can try again?"

He gave her a suspicious look "If I didn't know you better I'd swear you were making fun of me."

"Of course not," She gazed up at him with an expression of wide-eyed innocence "I just mean I don't mind waiting for breakfast. Are you alright?"

"Well, the magic thing doesn't hurt, but my head…ouch-wowchy!" He winced "Even creatures of Chaos are not immune to the ravages of over-indulgence, you know."

So they had ordered room service and now they were eating breakfast in the sunshine, Discord stealing glances at Fluttershy when he thought she wasn't looking. She had changed out of the sparkly, white number though he noticed she had not, as yet, removed her sparkly wedding ring.

Point of fact; neither had he "Well I just haven't got round to it…" He told himself.

More intriguingly, she had also not mentioned going to find the rest of their party. It was most unlike her. He wondered about that.

 _"Nevertheless, she does seem to be taking this extremely well,"_ He thought as he watched her calmly eating her salad _"I mean, here we are, suddenly married, and she doesn't seem to be angry or upset with me – in fact, we're getting on really rather splendidly! And after what was quite possibly a night of unbridled passion. Probably… maybe… …oh, curse this memory loss!"_

 _"Woohoo! Go Discord!"_ Yelled a voice.

He looked past Fluttershy at the faux rococo façade of the hotel, covered in imitation antique frescos depicting various heroic scenes from history. Amongst them was a classical statue of him wearing a laurel wreath, doing a victory dance and chanting _"Go Discord! You're the greatest! Go Discord! You're amazing!"_

 _"You are_ _ **not**_ _helping!"_ He mouthed as his headache intensified a notch, but the phantasm didn't vanish.

 _"Oh come on! Tell me you're not exalting in this just a tiny bit?"_ Victorious Discord scoffed _"It's me who's made out of stone, not you… unless the Princess of Friendship forgot to change some part of you back!"_

"Shut up!"

 _"But you should be celebrating!"_ The other him leered _"You wanted her all to yourself, now she's all yours! That miniature shackle around her neck says so. And what about last night, you sly devil? Oh-la-la!"_

 _"Shut_ _ **up**_ _you_ _ **moron**_ _!"_ He growled under his breath, the pain in his temples was now like someone had a drill against his head.

Fluttershy looked up "Pardon?" Victorious Discord had gone.

"Oh nothing, just talking to myself." He grinned at her over his enormous chocolate dessert "How's your salad Honeybunch?"

"Honeybunch?"

"How about Sweetiepie?" Fluttershy raised an eyebrow at him "Sugarplum? Snuggle-Bunny? Oh come on! What am I supposed to call you now we're married?"

She set down her juice glass "Discord, doesn't it bother you that we don't even know how we came to be married?"

"Well I assumed the alcohol had something to do with it."

"Yes but there still has to have been a reason," Her blue -green eyes, usually so clear, were cloudy. It was most disconcerting "Something must have happened last night to make us both want to do this. One of us must have said something or done something … I just wish I knew what it was!"

As soon as she said it, he wished it too. Until this moment it hadn't occurred to him that this whole affair had been anything but a mix-up caused by too many shooters.

"Well…of course, if I had my magic I could show you," He flexed his claws irritably, trying to ignore the searing pain in his head. Then half to himself he added "I guess we could always ask if the others remember any more than we do…"

He shut his mouth, cursing himself. He didn't want to burst the cosy little bubble that seemed to have sprung up around the two of them, keeping everypony else out.

"No." Fluttershy said decisively, surprising him again "I'd rather they didn't know… not yet. This is between you and me. I just don't want them getting in the way of us … of us figuring out what to do I mean."

Then, she picked up a shiny, red cherry from her fruit salad and took a bite of it.

Discord's eyelid twitched.

Seeing her put the cherry in her mouth triggered something; his eyes began to spin like slot machines and suddenly he felt extremely unwell.

Fluttershy started forward in alarm "Discord!? Whatever's wrong?"

"Not… sure!" He gasped, claws digging into the table.

"Discord!" She leapt up and rushed over, grabbing him by the shoulder. As she did so, he made a choking noise and coughed up a sphere of yellow light, like a cat hacking up a hairball. Both of them stared as it bounced once, rolled to a stop and then sat there glowing softly.

"Urggh!" He made a face "I'm terribly sorry my dear, it seems I was more affected by last night's excesses than I thought."

"What is it?" She reached out her hoof towards it.

"How embarrassing in front of one's new bride!" He muttered, then he realised what she was about to do **"Wait! Don't touch it!"**

There was a blinding flash as the sphere exploded.

* * *

Tuesday, 10.30pm – The Skyhorse Bar

Fluttershy and Discord appeared in a flash of light at the side of the table, Fluttershy pink in the face and laughing fit to bust a rib "Oh, that's so funny! I've never seen anypony actually break their arms and legs off while breakdancing before – Oh! why are we back at the table?"

The Draconequus set her down on the seat and squeezed in beside her, grinning maniacally "Because even I need a 'break' occasionally."

"Stop it Discord!" She started laughing again.

"Woohoo! This is great!" Pinkie cried as the rest of the group flung themselves down into their seats, hot and sweaty from the dance floor.

"Such a cool place!" Rainbow agreed happily "I think I even saw some of the Cloudsdale Wingers over at the bar."

"The Cloudsdale Wingers?" The Earth Pony frowned.

"Duh! The Pegasus air hockey team," Rainbow told her "They're the only ones that have ever come close to beating the Wonderbolts own team! I'm gonna go introduce myself!"

"Whatsamatter Rainbow?" Twilight teased her "Are you skipping out on us? Too much for you, huh?!"

"You wish! I was trying to giving you a sporting chance!"

"Oh stop stalling and get ready for round five!" Twilight waved frantically at the serving mare "Seven more Mare-quila Sunrises with slammer chasers please!" She hollered, having to shout to be heard over the music.

Applejack had been watching her friends with mounting concern. On one side of the table, her usually serious-minded friend was ordering drinks like they were going out of fashion; on the other side of the table, her usually shy and retiring friend was guzzling cocktails and almost breathless laughing at something being said in her ear by the Draconequus, the only one of the three not acting out of character – if anything, he seemed to be showing off even more than usual.

"Now just what is he sayin' that's so all-fired hilarious?" The farm pony frowned "Nothin's that funny!"

But something must have been, because the Pegasus had tears rolling down her face. She only stopped when a tray of drinks arrived at the table, snatching up one of the glasses and taking a large gulp "Oh thank you," She said "I can't remember when I've been so thirsty!"

"Twilight," Applejack nudged the purple alicorn "Don't you think it might be time for us to slow down now? You ain't got nuthin' to prove,"

"The hoof I don't!" Twilight yelled "I've still gotta drink these wimps under the table!" She raised her glass at Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, Fluttershy and Discord, all of whom raised their glasses in an ironic toast. Spike watched them glumly, nursing his third milkshake.

"Who's ready for more?" The Princess of Friendship put her hooves in the air.

"Aw shucks!" Applejack sighed, taking a large gulp of her own cocktail "Ah guess if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

Twilight's head whipped round "It's my favourite song, let's go dance!" She leapt up from her seat and began to push her way through the crowd, Rainbow and Rarity following, Pinkie hauling Applejack along with her.

Fluttershy stayed sitting where she was next to Discord, watching her friends enjoy themselves. He snaked his long neck down so that he could speak to her without bellowing "Having fun, Flitterflutter?"

"Oh yes!" She gave him an enthusiastic smile "I'm having a wonderful time. I always do when we're together!"

He felt his stupid grin get even wider "She's having a wonderful time, because she's with me!"

Absent-mindedly, she picked up the red cherry out of her Mare-quila Sunrise and put it to her lips, biting into it.

Discord's eyelid twitched. As he gazed down at her, he felt a little light-headed. He was sure he could hear birdsong again, even over the music "Is it the booze?" He thought "We've had enough to sink a ship!"

"Don't you want to dance?" He asked.

"No… not that dancing isn't great, but I was… well," She hiccupped and then flushed adorably, turning those vivid eyes on him again "I was hoping we'd have more chance to talk,"

He was starting to feel a bit flustered himself at the intense look on her face "But my dear, tonight is supposed to be all about fun and frivolity!" He tried to lighten the mood and found that suddenly his throat had gone all dry. He took a gulp of his cocktail.

She swayed towards him "But Discord, I wanted to tell you something,"

Whatever it was, he found he was leaning forward eagerly to hear it, like an iron filing pulled to a magnet "You can tell me anything, Fluttershy!"

At that moment Rarity leapt in between them "Come on darling, we need you!" She grabbed Fluttershy's hooves, yanking her out of the seat.

He was left gazing after her in perplexity "Now, what was that all about?"

Suddenly he felt Spike's claw on his arm "Discord?"

He turned. The little dragon looked utterly miserable.

The Chaos God shook his head as if to clear it, then raised an eyebrow "Let me guess: you're feeling upset about something and you want to unburden yourself to me?"

"Well not upset exactly –"

"And now that we're friends, you expect me to commiserate with you about your trivial problem?"

"It's not trivial! It's –"

"And in your hour of need, you're seeking my sage worldly wisdom and advice?"

Spike grimaced "Normally you're the last friend I would ever ask for advice but you're my only friend here who's a guy!"

"And you want a male confederate against the massed forces of femininity?"

"I guess,"

Discord grinned "Not a chance!"

"Well I – what?! But I thought we were friends!"

"Oh, we are! And ordinarily I might oblige you – if I could stave off the nausea such a prolonged bout of sappiness would induce – but this evening I'm busy enjoying myself, so I'm afraid you'll just have to make do with liquid consolation."

He snapped his fingers and a large Mare-quila Sunrise appeared in Spikes claws.

"Discord!"

"No need to thank me," The Draconequus said magnanimously "Just don't squeal to Twilight. Now drink up like a good Dragon and let's see where the girls have got to."

* * *

Wednesday, 10.30am – Discord's Room, The Four Stallions. Mostly.

Fluttershy blinked rapidly as the after-images faded away and she found herself back on the terrace of Discord's hotel room. The glowing sphere was gone.

"Oh my goodness! That was so… so strange, did you just see – "

"A live action rerun of what happened last night?" Discord put his lion paw on his chest and coughed "Yes, I saw."

"It was like I was reliving it; I can remember it now!"

"Me too."

"But what was that thing?"

"A time sphere." She looked at him in utter incomprehension "Last night we misplaced a large amount of time, right? Almost an entire evening! Somehow, I must've absorbed all that time we can't remember. That must be what's making me sick and causing my magic to go wrong – the temporal energy surges are disagreeing with me. What we just experienced must be some of the time we lost."

"Discord, that isn't how it works!" Fluttershy protested "We don't remember last night because we drank too many cocktails, not because of you absorbing time! It doesn't make any… sense…" She trailed off at his raised eyebrow.

"Discord, Master of Chaos. Have we met?" He bowed in ironic introduction "Oh, wait a minute! Yes we have, because last night we got married!"

"But the flashback didn't explain that either!"

"Sorry, but I'm not in control of it. Although we did seem pretty... ahem... friendly, you must admit."

She looked at the floor "D-do you have any idea what caused it? The time sphere I mean?" She said.

"It was when I saw you eat a cherry, I suddenly got a feeling of – oh I don't know – really intense déjà vu. You did the same thing with the cherry from your drink when we were talking last night..." His eyes narrowed "What were you going to tell me anyway, back there at the table?"

She blushed and mumbled something inaudible.

"Oh come now, FlitterFlutter," He coaxed "I meant it when I said you can tell me anything."

She took a deep breath "Well…"

At that moment there was a loud knocking at the door and they heard shouting "Discord! Fluttershy?!"

Both their heads snapped round towards the noise and Fluttershy moved her hoof automatically to cover the tell-tale diamond hanging around her neck.

"Discord please," She whispered as the knocking intensified to hammering "Let's keep the whole marriage thing just between us until we can work out what happened? Please?"

He stared at her. For some silly reason he didn't like it that she wanted to keep this a secret. Didn't like it at all.

"But that's ridiculous," He told himself "Why should I mind? It's not as if I actually – "

"Come on Discord!" There was more shouting, louder this time "Open this door for pony's sake!"

Fluttershy was looking at him in mute appeal and he realised she was waiting for an answer.

"Of course! Anything for you, Snookums." He bared his teeth at her in a facsimile of a smile as he went to get the door.

The five other Elements and the dragon were waiting outside, all looking red-eyed, dishevelled and tired.

"Ladies, Spike," He beamed at them genially, keeping his wedding ring hidden behind his back "How lovely to see you this fine morning. I trust you all slept well?"

"Discord – you were in there," Twilight squinted up at him "Didn't you hear us pounding?"

"Where's Fluttershy? Have you seen her?!" Demanded Rainbow.

"But of course," He said, as innocently as he could manage "She's here with me. Do come in."

His last words were redundant, as Rainbow had already barged past him. When she got inside she skidded to a halt. The others piled into the back of her as, one by one, they all pulled up short and gaped.

"And Ah thought ma room was fancy!" Gulped Applejack.

"Hmmm yes," Discord said behind them "I have improved it somewhat."

"But where's Fluttershy?" Rainbow howled.

"Oh, she's eating breakfast out on the terrace."

"Hello?" Came a soft voice and the blue Pegasus sped towards the sound.

"Terrace? I didn't get a terrace!" Rarity complained as they all trotted outside, to find Dash clasping Fluttershy in a bone-crushing hug. "I'm alright Rainbow!" She gasped as the blue Pegasus all but squeezed the breath out of her "Really I am!"

As Dash finally let go, Fluttershy surreptitiously rearranged her long hair to conceal the ring hanging around her neck.

"In fact we were just having breakfast." She added; ignoring the death stare from Discord "You'd all be welcome to join us."


	6. Chapter 6

Wednesday, 11am – Discord's Room, the Four Stallions

"Boy are we happy to see ya'll safe and sound sugar cube!" Applejack said through a mouthful of pancake. Breakfast had arrived very promptly.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes, why wouldn't she be?" Discord echoed. He was rather put out that the other six were now camped out on his morning with his best friend who also happened to be his new wife – accidental, secret wife though she might be.

"Well," Spike cleared his throat "You could say the rest of us had a bit of a rude awakening this morning!"

" _That_ is the understatement of the century!" Rarity groaned, shifting the icepack on her forehead.

Applejack sighed "Ah'm afraid we got ourselves caught up in a heap o' trouble last night and… well it might be we did something real dumb!"

"Now we don't know that for sure AJ." Interrupted Rarity.

Fluttershy looked concerned "Oh dear, whatever's happened?"

"Well last night we… oh! I can't even say it!" The white unicorn buried her face in her hooves.

"Me, AJ and Rarity got ourselves arrested," Spike said bluntly "We spent last night in the cells."

"And they're accusing us of… of… of _roughhousing_!" Rarity wailed "Oh the shame! The ignominy! I can never show my face in polite society again!"

"Oh no!" Fluttershy was horrified "Are you all ok? I feel just terrible that we never thought to come and look for you!"

"It's alright Fluttershy," Twilight sighed "I think we all took our eye off the ball last night."

"And by "eye off the ball" she means me, Rainbow and Twilight passed out in the room of the captain of a professional sports team and then barfed in his bathroom full of flamingos and we have no memory of how we got there!" Pinkie explained helpfully.

"You mean you can't remember last night either?" Said Fluttershy.

"Nope!" Pinkie shook her head "Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch!"

"Who is this sports captain?" Fluttershy asked, wide-eyed.

"His name's Jet Stream," Twilight said through gritted teeth.

"So," Discord asked innocently "You don't even know how the three of you came to be in the quarters of this – what was it again – Jock Strap?"

Rainbow smirked "I think that mighta had something to do with him and Twilight being such good amigos – am I right, Twi?" She held out her foreleg for a hoof bump but the purple Alicorn slapped it away "Rainbow Dash!"

"What?! We partied with the Cloudsdale Wingers, that's pretty cool."

"Let's just never speak of this ever, ever again," Twilight groaned "That goes double for you Discord!"

"Oh Princess," He batted his eyelashes at her "I am the soul of discretion. You can rest assured that your indiscretions – however entertaining I may find them – are safe with me."

"Hey!" Twilight said, her face suddenly suspicious "Just what did _you_ get up to last night anyway? We know _they_ spent the night in the drunk tank," She pointed at AJ, Rarity and Spike who all coughed and looked embarrassed "And _we_ were at Jet Stream's party, but where were you two?"

Fluttershy and Discord studiously avoided looking at each other.

"It's all a blur," He said quickly "Generally speaking it was a wild night of drink and dancing, but the specifics elude me. All I know is that in the morning we woke up back at the hotel. Isn't that right, my dear?" She nodded hastily, dropping her eyes to the floor.

"So let me get this straight," Twilight sipped her detox smoothie "You two don't remember anything either?"

Fluttershy shook her head "I'm just not used to alcohol."

"So the two of you got separated from the group and ended up coming back to the hotel together?"

"Well I don't remember much after the bar, but I guess we must have done," Fluttershy said and Discord nodded.

"Yes _darling_ , as far as we have been able to deduce, that seems likely," He smirked at her and she gave him a warning look.

"Well, you sure had us worried!" Said in Rainbow.

"We were beginning to think you two had run off together!" Said Rarity; provoking general laughter.

"Well here we are, slightly fatigued but otherwise safe and sound." The Draconequus snapped, not pleased that everypony else seemed to find the idea so amusing "So all's well that ends well," He finished smoothly "I guess the memory loss is the only small _hitch_."

Fluttershy gave the tiniest squeak, pressing her hoof to her mouth.

"Yeah," Dash took a long pull of her breakfast martini "But what were you _doing_? Don't tell us you were having a tea party all that time!"

"Dancing." Said Discord at the same moment as Fluttershy said "Talking."

They gave each other a brief glance "Dancing and talking." The Draconequus said hurriedly "You know how the time just disappears when you're having fun."

The yellow Pegasus made a little choking noise into her teacup.

Twilight looked from one to the other, a little frown on her face "Well thank goodness the two of you didn't get into as much trouble as we did last night," She said finally "We've got to figure out what to do about the charges these three have to answer tomorrow and I've still got the soiree to attend whilst I figure it out."

"Charges?" Fluttershy and Discord said together.

"Yeah," Said Applejack "The pony we had a tear up with wants to press charges, says we started it!"

"Of all the nerve!" Rarity cried.

"Just a minute," Spike said "Now that we've found Discord, why do we have to worry about this? Can't you just snap your claws and make it go away?" He demanded of the Draconequus.

"Well it's rather embarrassing," For once the trickster god actually did look uncomfortable "Something is… interfering with my powers."

"Discord can't use his magic at the moment," Fluttershy began to explain "Because he – " She stuttered to a halt as he shot her a pleading look _"Don't tell them about the time sphere thing!"_

"Er… that is… because he's… um… not feeling too well." She finished lamely.

He looked so downcast that she flitted over to him and stroked his shoulder "There, there Discord, don't worry." She soothed "I'm sure your Chaos magic will be right as chocolate rain in no time!"

"I don't know Spike," Twilight rubbed her chin "Even if we could just magic all this away would that really be the right thing to do? I mean, we don't even know what happened. If there was only some way we could find out!"

"Well, Ah'm no magician," Applejack said slowly "But there must be some ole' spell that can show ya the past? Surely _that_ wouldn't be wrong?"

"I guess not and there probably is such a spell, but all my spell books are back in Ponyville and the main archive is in Canterlot," Twilight groaned "But we don't have time for that! I don't even know where to start looking and without Discord's magic I can't get there and back in time to still make it to the summit soiree tonight."

"Well darling," Rarity said cautiously "Do you have to go?"

"Of course I have to go! Princess Celestia is counting on me, it's my royal duty!"

As the others argued back and forth about the best solution, Fluttershy clasped her hooves together worriedly "Oh! What are we going to do?" She fretted.

"I suggest we try and forget about it my dear," Discord said putting one arm around her shoulders "At least for today, anyway."

"How can you say that when our friends are in trouble?" Demanded an outraged Rainbow Dash.

"Well as you've all very eloquently pointed out there's not much any of us can do about it tonight, but tomorrow," He grinned "By then I should have my magic back and I can transport you anywhere you wish in a split second. Or I could just turn your accusers into novelty soaps?" The ponies glared at him "Stuffed toys?" They glared harder "Glove puppets? No?" He shrugged "Oh, you're no fun!"

"But tomorrow we have to go up in front o' the judge!" Applejack objected.

"Yes, but not until the afternoon," Twilight reminded her "We'll have the whole morning to try and fix things. Discord, you may actually have a point."

"How _very_ generous of you to concede it, your Highness!" He said sarcastically, folding his arms and sticking his forked tongue out at her.

"Don't get too used to it!" Twilight said wryly "Now, I suggest we all try and relax and recuperate as much as possible. It's going to be a long night."

By unspoken agreement the group split apart after breakfast was finished and everypony went off to recover from their hangovers in their own way.

Rainbow Dash, Pinkie and Twilight decided to go and sit by the hotel pool to try and unwind. Rarity, Applejack and Spike went to their rooms to get some rest, Rarity still grumbling under her breath about her room's lack of a terrace.

"Why don't you grab a towel and come with us?" Rainbow urged Fluttershy.

"Oh, no." She glanced back at the Draconequus, who was languishing on a sun lounger "I think I'll stay here, just for a little while."

"Come on Fluttershy," Dash grimaced "Just because you're close, doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip."

Fluttershy shifted from hoof to hoof. She hated having to lie to her oldest friend but she knew if she didn't, Rainbow would just bulldoze right over her objections.

"It's not that! I just think he's upset. You know," Her voice dropped to a whisper " _About the magic thing."_

"Tell him to stop being such a big foal and get over it!"

"I couldn't do that, it would hurt his feelings!"

Dash rolled her eyes disgustedly "Well if you get bored holding his talons you know where we are." She flipped her mane and trotted off.

"Ah Rainbow Dash, the soul of tact." Discord said as she came back out onto the terrace.

"Did you hear that?" She looked mortified "I'm sorry!"

"Think nothing of it my dear." In actual fact he was secretly pleased to overhear her stand up for him, a petty victory but a victory nevertheless "Why… didn't you go with her?" He asked curiously.

She looked at him and took a deep breath "Because I think I need to stay with you."

"Oh yes?"

"To see if we can figure out what happened."

"Ah. Yes, quite."

"We need to see more of those time spheres," She said "Why didn't you want me to tell Twilight and the others about them?"

He winced "I don't want Princess Practical prodding and poking me with spells all day long, trying find out what happened last night!"

She looked worried "But if we can see more of what happened then maybe it could help them."

"Look, I told you I can't control it alright?" He said sulkily "I don't know what the flashbacks will show us when they do happen, so better just keep quiet as long as you want to keep _this_ a secret too!" He held up the talon with his wedding ring on it "If we did see something helpful we can always tell them about it."

"I guess so," She sat quietly for a moment "And maybe if you can get rid of all that time you absorbed, your magic will come back. You said that seeing me eat the cherry triggered the first one. Maybe I can trigger more?"

"It's possible I suppose," He scratched his head with his eagle talons.

"And then your magic will come back, won't it?"

"I fervently hope so!"

"In that case," She looked pleased "Shall we go?"

"You want me to go outside the room?" Discord looked worried "Where are we going?"

"Well we've got all this time together so we may as well enjoy ourselves," She gave him a heart-melting smile "And you did promise to show me the sights."

* * *

Wednesday, 1pm – The Strip, Las Pegasus

Just half an hour later they were walking down the Las Pegasus strip. Fluttershy was wearing a silk scarf that she had grabbed from her room knotted loosely round her neck to conceal the ring on its delicate chain. Discord sported an enormous pair of dark glasses in deference to his headache.

He felt slightly at a loss. He'd had all sorts of things planned, but that had been before all this marriage business and now he didn't know what to do with her. Every activity he could think of seemed either too raucous or too self-consciously romantic.

" _Oh fiddlesticks, why is this so awkward?"_ He thought, watching her from behind his shades as she read the guidebook she'd borrowed from Twilight _"I suppose at least I know I've not lost my touch when it comes to creating havoc. This is the most mayhem I've caused in one evening for some time and I wasn't even trying!"_

"So my dear," He said "Las Pegasus is your oyster, what do you want to do?"

"Well," She looked at the guide book again "I've never been to Prance but I've always really wanted to see the EiFoal Tower and they have a replica here."

"Absolument cherie, mais pourquoi?"

"I always thought it sounded so romantic!" She said with a little sigh, then hurriedly added "I mean – uh – not that I want to do romantic things with you! Oh, that sounded bad, I meant… not that I don't … but…"

"Of course not Flitterflutter, perish the thought," He said generously, then peered at her "But I thought you were afraid of heights?"

"Oh I am, but if my hooves are on something solid I don't mind so much." She said, without even a tinge of hurt pride. It always amazed him how she was never embarrassed to say things like this. If he _had_ been frightened of anything, he would rather be boiled in oil than admit to it.

Without his magic they had to walk. Discord was appalled "How you can actually enjoy this is a mystery to me," He complained "Why do all this unglamorous trudging when you could just get there instantaneously?"

She giggled at him "Not everypony can teleport you know! Some of us have no choice but to go on hoof."

"But if you want to go somewhere all you need do is ask." He said, affronted.

"Oh I wouldn't want to be a bother," She shook her head "Besides, if you get somewhere too fast, you miss seeing the beauty of the world around you."

Discord raised an eyebrow at the crowded city street that surrounded them but decided not to argue. It wasn't beautiful per se, though it was interesting; plenty of chaos going on here. He shrugged _"Maybe it's not so bad, I suppose…"_

Fluttershy saw his sceptical expression and smiled to herself. Weird as it was, she found that she actually rather enjoying herself. Even the whole marriage mix-up, trying to work things out together was kind of…fun.

She found herself almost feeling sorry he'd suggested bringing the others too… or had he? " _There was a moment when I thought he might be suggesting we go on our own, did I read it wrong?"_ She thought _"I wish I hadn't said anything … then I'd know what he meant. Oh, I'm being silly anyway – of course it's more fun with the girls and Spike here. I'm just glad they aren't here right now, that's all!"_

She was in such a good mood, it wasn't until they had nearly reached the first level of the tower that her nerves kicked in "I d-didn't r-realise it would be so high." She said in a small voice, staring downwards "You c-can't tell from pictures how b-big it is, c-can you?"

"We can do something else if you like, darling?"

"No." Her face set in a determined frown "I chose it. I've always wanted to see it and I'm going to do it!"

But he could tell she was already regretting her decision as they reached the first level viewing platform. She could barely bring herself to look down or even go near the railing.

"It s-sure is a g-great view from here." She stammered unconvincingly, then looked dejected "I s-suppose you think I'm a terrible c-coward!"

"You? Never! Until very recently you're the only pony who wasn't afraid of me!" Discord nudged her and she gave him a tiny smile "Don't be worried Flitterflutter, I promise that if by some freakish accident you do fall and if, for some inexplicable reason, your wings fail, I'll catch you; I promise. Magic or no magic!"

"OK," She inched closer to the railing, finally managing to stand next to it and look out at the view properly by gripping onto his lion paw with all her might "It's very windy up here, isn't it?"

"Somewhat," He said between clenched teeth, as she crushed his arm.

"W-why didn't you want to g-go outside the room?" She asked, trying to distract herself from the vertigo.

"Oh – that. Well… er…" He hesitated, then decided honesty was the best policy "I'm just a little… concerned in case we see something that makes the time flashback thingy happen again."

She turned to him in surprise "But I thought we _wanted_ you to have another flashback, so we can find out what happened?"

He fidgeted uncomfortably "But what if it shows I did something awful? Something that makes you stop liking me?"

"It won't. You wouldn't!"

"You've said that before."

"It's different now. You're different… I can feel it."

"But what if you end up hating me?"

She smiled up at him, her fear of heights momentarily forgotten "Discord I promise; whatever we see, I won't hate you."

"Oh, and you know that, do you?"

"Yes. I do." She stood on her hoof tips and kissed him on the cheek.

He didn't even have time to process the surprise because immediately a wave of sickness swept over him. The raging headache came back with a vengeance and suddenly he knew... it was going to happen again.

At the same instant, the tower they were standing on lit up like a Hearths Warming tree, sparkling magic racing along its surface as Discord spat out another glowing sphere. It rebounded off the railing, pin-balling around inside the tower's steel framework in front of the other horrified sightseers.

"Darling! I swear, it's not you!" He said desperately, both of them instinctively ducking as it went singing over their heads "I promise that your kisses are very far from being nauseating!"

"You think _that's_ what I'm worried about right now?!" She screamed.

They were both cut off as the time sphere ricocheted off a cast iron girder at speed, slamming into the pair of them like a meteor.


	7. Chapter 7

Tuesday, 10.55pm – The Skyhorse Bar

Fluttershy was feeling more than a little tipsy as she let Rarity pull her onto the heaving dance floor. Normally she didn't like crowds, but everyone here seemed so happy that she stopped worrying and just let herself sway along with them and with Rarity, who winked at her.

Still, she kept on glancing over at the table where Discord was talking to Spike _"I suppose it's selfish, but I just want him to pay attention to_ _ **me**_ _! If I can't talk to him, at least we can go on having fun dancing together. He's gone to all this trouble to get me out here and then isn't even going to come and dance with me?"_ She shook her head, feeling unusually assertive after the unaccustomed alcohol _"I'm going to get him!"_

She turned, intent on dragging him onto the dance floor, when she felt a hoof on her shoulder.

"Hey sweet stuff! Wanna dance?" A pale yellow unicorn with an orange mane was standing much too close to her.

"No thank you." Fluttershy said. She wasn't sure he heard her over the music because he didn't move away but kept pulling her close. She tried to push him off but without much effect.

"Come on girls, let us show you a good time!" His friend, a blue unicorn with an orange mane, leaned over Rarity.

"We were already having a perfectly good time before you so rudely barged in!" The unicorn mare retorted angrily.

"Aw don't be like that sugar flank," Laughed the stallion "Why don't you come and party with us?"

"Can you take your hooves **off** me please?" Fluttershy snapped. The words came out louder and more aggressive than she meant them to – though she had to be loud to be heard over the music – but still he didn't release her.

"Chill sweet stuff, the night's just getting started!"

"Oh no," Said a voice behind them "For you two I think the night is most definitely over!"

The two stallions turned to find themselves staring into the fiery eyes of the enraged God of Chaos, magic crawling over his skin like electricity. Both of them gulped nervously.

"You clowns heard what she said," Discord snarled "Am-scray!"

His snapped his fingers and both of them were suddenly dressed in full circus getup; thick clown makeup, multi-coloured wigs, baggy pants and enormous shoes. They looked at each other, screamed and ran, falling over their honking shoes and each other in their haste to get away.

As the comical squeaking of the shoes faded, he turned "Are you alright Flitterflutter?"

"I _am_ here too, you know!" Rarity said, acidly.

"I'm fine," Fluttershy smiled "Thank you."

"Don't mention it my dear, actually it was rather enjoyable. ' _Chill? Sweet stuff?_ ' Ugh, how crass! I _was_ going to turn them into ice cream cones just for that, but I thought it might be rather messy, not to mention slippery – "

He stopped dead as she reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek. Then she looked in the direction the two stallions had gone, seemingly unaware Discord's mouth was hanging open in stupefaction.

"Oh, I hope they'll be alright." She said vaguely.

"Never mind them darling!" Cried Rarity "You're looking a little pale!"

"Well, I would like to go get some air," The Pegasus admitted "It's so warm in here!"

Discord watched them go. The twinkling mist was everywhere, swamping the dance floor.

" _Must be the booze catching up with me,"_ He told himself _"Definitely the booze."_

* * *

Wednesday, 3pm – Poolside, The Four Stallions

"Wow," Twilight stretched lazily in the heat of the Las Pegasus sun "I feel so-o-o much better for taking some time out to recharge."

"Told ya you were wound way too tight." Rainbow said, from the adjacent sun lounger.

The Alicorn smiled "Dash, let's just not go there again!" She yawned "I'd better go start getting ready for tonight."

"Ah, skip it!" The Pegasus yawned "Is Celestia really going to care if you miss _one_ boring event? You already went to the summit."

"I wish I could Rainbow, but I'm representing the royal family!"

"Hey, maybe it'll be fun," Said Pinkie, who was in the pool nearby, sitting in a giant rubber ring. She sipped her Manehatten "It is a _party_ after all!"

"Pinkie has a point Twi," Said Dash "All you gotta do is be nice to a few big shots, eat some very small food and keep Discord in line. How bad can it be?"

Twilight made a face "Oh yeah, 'cos that's the job I dreamed of having when I was a filly!" She sighed "Speaking of Discord, did you two think he was acting weird this morning?"

Dash laughed. When Twilight didn't laugh with her she sat up "Oh, you're serious?" She looked at the Princess over the top of her sunglasses "You wanna know if _Discord_ was acting weird? You mean like, weirder than usual?"

"Yes! I thought he seemed strange … suspicious." Her forehead puckered in a tiny line "In fact, now I come to think of it, both he and Fluttershy seemed a little off. All those in-jokes? If I didn't know better, I'd say they were hiding something."

"Come on!" Rainbow burst out "I mean Discord's a pal and he can be a laugh and all but he's so crooked even _he_ doesn't know when he's lying. But _Fluttershy_? _Seriously?_ "

"I know! I know! I'm being nuts!" Twilight said "Guess I'm just on edge about this whole mess with AJ and Spike and Rarity. Plus this thing tonight? I need it like I need a trot through Tartarus."

Pinkie paddled to the side of the pool "Aw Twilight, if you think it's gonna be that bad why don't we all come along with you?"

The Princess smiled at her "Y'know Pinkie, that would actually be great! To have all my friends there is just what I need."

"No problemo," Dash flipped her mane "We can step in if anything gets out of hoof!"

"Thanks, but I don't think that'll be necessary." Twilight took a deep breath "It'll just be nice to know you're all there to give me your support."

"Wheeee!" Pinkie spun herself round in the inflatable ring "And between us we oughtta be able to make this confab, confabuloso!"

Twilight gave her a worried look _"Why am I already starting to regret this?!"_

She stood up and hung her towel around her neck "I'm going back to my room," She said "I want to make sure I'm ready in plenty of time for the soiree. Meet you in the downstairs bar around 6.30?"

"Laters!" Dash stretched and settled down for a nap.

* * *

Wednesday 2.20pm – The EiFoal Tower Replica, Las Pegasus

The huge drop was the first thing Fluttershy saw when she came back to the present. The ground was hundreds of feet away. Only a metal grill separated her from a long fall.

"Eep!" She leapt backwards colliding violently with Discord; the pair of them would have gone over the edge if he hadn't grabbed hold of both the railing and her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She gasped, clutching at him like a life preserver "It's just so disorientating! I'm not sure I'll ever get used to those flashbacks!"

Discord couldn't reply; he just stood there clasping her to his chest in surprise.

"Discord?" She prompted "I said I'm sorry!"

He shook his head, snapping back to reality.

"Not at all my dear, I did promise to catch you." He said "In fact, feel free to leap into my arms anytime! In view of the circumstances, it'd be rude not to."

"But I nearly knocked us both over the railing!"

"Don't give it another thought," He grinned and hugged her tighter "If I had only known that defending your honour like a chest beating gorilla would have this effect, I'd have done it eons ago."

She looked around. Once again, the time sphere had disappeared without a trace and the replica Eifoal Tower was no longer a glowing beacon of light. Then she remembered what they had just seen.

"Who were those rude stallions at the bar?" She said "Haven't they ever heard of manners?"

"Hmm?" He seemed to have gone off into a little daydream "Oh, yes – them. Evidently not," He gave a self-satisfied smirk "Lucky I'm so chivalrous!"

"Discord this is serious!"

"I _am_ being serious. Here was I, worried that I was going to come out of this as a villain, but it seems I'm the hero of the hour. Who knew I was so noble?"

Then he looked around and realised they were surrounded by a crowd of gawking tourists "And that concludes our performance for today,"He snapped _"_ No more free entertainment; _allez vous!"_ When the audience didn't move he growled " **Beat it!**!"

"But we _still_ don't know why we got married." She said, as the small crowd reluctantly began to disperse "And you nearly got into a fight!"

"Well that's a bit harsh!" He exclaimed "There was no question of a _fight_ my dear, those puny insects were no match for me. I was in complete control of the situation."

"But what you did to them… was it really necessary?"

"Well not necessary maybe, but you have to admit it was fun! I grant you what they really needed was a brief but brutal lesson in the difference between the words "No" and "Yes", but what I did was much more entertaining. I so seldom get to smite anypony these days."

"I just thought…" She sighed "Never mind, let's just go back to the hotel."

" _Bien sur cherie."_

"And you can put me down now. You know, um… if you like."

* * *

Wednesday, 3.35pm – Rarity's Room, The Four Stallions

Twilight called in on the other three on the way back to her room with the intention of inviting them to the soiree that evening. She found them all in Rarity's room, trying to console one another. Or rather, Applejack and Rarity were trying to console one another. Spike was sitting on the sofa, engrossed in a book as he munched his way through a selection of treats liberated from the room's minibar.

"I just don't know darling," Rarity had said, carefully peeling the slices of cucumber from her eyelids "I'm not sure if I can bear to show my face in public now that I'm a.. a… _jailbird_!" Her bottom lip trembled.

"Rarity ya can't be a 'jailbird' after just one night in the cells!" Snorted Applejack.

"Anyway, nopony at the summit will know anything about that, Rarity!" Twilight reassured her "And going out might help take your mind off things."

"Amen to that!" Said Spike through a mouthful of complimentary biscuits, not looking up from his book "I can't think of anything worse than sitting here worrying."

Twilight smiled "Pinkie and Rainbow Dash have already agreed. Discord's coming anyway and I'm going to ask Fluttershy too. It'd be really nice if we could all be there." She paused "It's at a _very_ prestigious venue; the Las Pegasus Equine. And there'll be _lots_ of very important ponies there!"

"Just like you to know my Achilles fetlock!" Pouted the Unicorn, spooning up ice-cream from one of the tubs in the mini bar "Oh well, I suppose I can't let everypony down. But I don't want any mention at all of that horrid business from yesterday evening, promise?"

The other three shared an amused grin "We promise!"

* * *

Wednesday 5pm – Twilight's Room, The Four Stallions

Later on Twilight stood back in her own room, inspecting herself in the mirror. After a long hot bath she felt almost normal again.

" _Not bad,"_ She thought " _Considering only a few hours ago I looked like death warmed up, not bad at all!"_

She was wearing a full-length formal gown, a piece of Rarity couture; black tulle with cerise and silver spangles; like a cityscape at night. She also had a necklace of sparkling diamond stars and more stars in her mane.

As she trotted down the hallway, Twilight suddenly realised that she had not yet extended her invitation to Fluttershy. She had tried her door right after leaving Rarity's room earlier, but the Pegasus didn't answer. Now she tried knocking again.

" _Still not in, huh?"_ Twilight thought for a moment and then carried on round the corner to Discord's room. If Fluttershy wasn't in her own room, that was the next best place to try.

"Discord?" She tried knocking on the door. To her surprise it swung inwards a fraction _"Weird, he must have left it open."_

"Discord?" She pushed the door open a little further "Fluttershy? Are you in there?"

Twilight gazed around at the bizarre and improbable tropical paradise, much too large to fit inside the confines of the actual space that was here. She supposed this must really be some sort of other dimension he had created in order to fit all this stuff in "That's a whole lot of effort just to upgrade your hotel room!" Twilight chuckled to herself, shaking her head.

She pulled the door shut and moved towards the terrace, telling herself that she was looking for her friends but conscious that there was a part of her that just wanted to be nosy. After all, how many chances would she have to poke around one of the Chaos God's alternate dimensions?

As she passed the bed she noticed the nightstand was one of the few items here that looked like it matched the rest of the furniture in the hotel.

Various things were piled on it in an appropriately haphazard fashion: empty champagne glasses; some long, floaty, white feathers; some chips from the casino they had been to; an orange; a couple of stray pearls; an iguana (which was asleep) and some sort of weird stress toy shaped like Twilight herself. She picked it up. When she squeezed it, miniature Twilight squeaked and her eyes bulged out grotesquely.

"Hey!" She said in annoyance.

As she stood there, holding mini-Twilight, her eye was drawn inexorably to the piece of paper which had been underneath the toy. It looked like an official document of some kind.

Curiosity overcame her. Holding her breath and aware that she really _should not_ be doing this, she used her magic to grip the corner of the paper and pulled gently so as not to disturb the other things on the table. It slid silkily out from under the detritus and fluttered to the floor. Setting aside mini-Twilight, she snatched it up, scanning the paper rapidly.

It was a marriage certificate.

Twilight gasped in horror as she read the venue, the date and both of the names on it.

She froze as she heard voices in the corridor outside _""Omigosh!_ _I have to get out of here!"_

Panic gripped her. Without hesitation she shoved the certificate back on the table, powered up her horn and disappeared in a burst of pink energy. She reappeared outside the room but further down the hallway and around the corner.

To her intense relief, she heard the door to Discord's room slam shut.


	8. Chapter 8

Wednesday 5.25pm – Discord's Room, Both the Four Stallions and an alternate dimension

"I was sure I didn't leave the door open – curse this confounded magical malfunction!" Discord flung himself down on the bed in frustration "How can you survive without magic?" He complained "How do you cope?"

"But Discord it's not the first time you've been without your magic," Fluttershy reminded him "You lost it before when Tirek took it from you, and when you helped rescue us from Chrysalis you didn't have it."

"Yes, but that was because another power stole it from me, it didn't just start going wrong all by itself. It's so-o-o-o humiliating!" He turned to Fluttershy with big tragic eyes "How can you bear having to do everything by hoof and think of everything and remember everything all the time? It's impossible!"

She couldn't help but laugh "Well, you get used to it but you're right, it _is_ impossible! Nopony can remember everything all the time. Surely even magical beings forget things?"

"Yes but it doesn't matter because you can just snap your fingers and 'poof'; any problem you have disappears!"

" _Any_ problem Discord?""

He grimaced "Ok _fine!_ I suppose not _every_ problem, but you must admit if I had my magic we could solve all our current problems much more easily."

"Well," She said slowly "You haven't even tried to use your magic all day. Do you think that last flashback offloaded enough of the time you absorbed for it to be working now?"

"Oh I hadn't thought of that!" He bounced to his feet, irrepressible once again as he swung her off her hooves "My dear, you are as incisive as you are lovely. Must have been why I married you!"

She smiled but also turned a very pale shade of pink, uncomfortable as ever with being paid a compliment, he guessed "Well, I guess that's what we need your magic to find out." She said.

"How right you are!" He set her down and looked warily at his talons ""I'll do something easy. I'll try and conjure up tea and biscuits. You just … oh I don't know… brace yourself."

"'Brace myself'? For tea and biscuits?!"

"I mean I don't know if I can control it yet, so maybe … hold onto something?"

She gulped "OK."

He snapped his claws and a flock of bluebirds appeared in a puff of smoke and began to sing, flitting around amongst the exotic vegetation.

"That can't be right!" He frowned at the offending talons.

"Oh, but they're so sweet!" She smiled.

"Yes but they're not what I was aiming for. Let me try again, it should be relatively simple."

He snapped again and an arrow with a sucker on the end materialised out of the air and hit him in the chest. It was followed by about ten more arrows that struck and attached themselves to various targets including his nose and forehead.

She giggled as he sighed in exasperation and pulled the suckers off.

"Very well," He breathed "I'm going to give it one more try."

He could not bear to watch so with his eyes squinched shut, he snapped his talons. There was a little gasp from Fluttershy.

He opened his eyes to see she was now wearing something skintight, black and shiny plus some very uncomfortable looking boots and, most oddly of all, holding a lion-tamer's whip.

"Oh my goodness, what is it?" She looked down at herself in surprise "It's so tight!" She took a deep breath and wriggled a little "And it's all squeaky!"

"My dear, I'm most terribly sorry!"

"Why did you do that?!"

"That's what I've been telling you! I didn't intend to, it just happened!" He put his head on one side and scratched his chin with his lion paw "In fact, I really can't think where it came from."

"Well can you send it back there please?"

"Are you sure? I think it rather suits you – "

"Discord; will you do as you're told this instant!?" She stamped her boot and made an angry little movement, unintentionally causing the whip to crack loudly. He jumped at the noise and they stared at each other in surprise. She wondered if the costume had some magical properties. She wouldn't usually have spoken quite so sharply.

After a suitably awkward pause he found his voice again "Ahem! Much as I hate to argue when you're in such a … _commanding_ frame of mind I think perhaps better not," He gave her a sheepish grin "No telling what might happen next time. Best quit whilst we're ahead, eh? Unless you mean you want my actual physical help getting it off."

She looked down at the ensemble and sighed "No, I can manage." And she disappeared behind some greenery.

"I think we can safely conclude that my magic isn't back under my control yet," He called over the creaking and squeaking as she wrestled with the costume "So they can forget about me going to this ghastly yawn-fest tonight."

Immediately her head popped out from behind a giant fern "But Discord, you have to go! Princess Celestia invited you specially." She wriggled "Actually, do you think you could unzip me? I can't reach."

"But of course!" He said. She emerged from the fronds with her back to him and he obliged with the fiddly zip "Anyway, don't worry! Cay-Cay will get over it."

"What about Twilight? You can't make her go on her own, not when she's feeling so ill!" Then after some more struggling she added "And could you please help me undo the laces? They're knotted so tight!"

"Yes, they are rather fiendish aren't they?" He muttered under his breath "Twilight will be fine," He scoffed, pulling at the knots with his claws "I, however, can't face all those stultifying bores without my magic to keep things entertaining."

"But Discord," Fluttershy turned to look at him over her shoulder, with a lift of an eyebrow "Surely the Lord of Chaos doesn't need magic to _'keep things entertaining'_?"

"Oh, I see; a challenge!" He gave her an amused look "Very well my dear, I accept. If you're so keen for me to go, I shall. But only if you come with me."

"Well, I don't know…"

"Come on Flitterflutter!" He wheedled "What if the flashback thing happens again? You need to be there to see it."

She folded her hooves and looked away.

"Alright, alright! I admit it; I _need_ you there or else it will be insufferable! Please? For me?"

"Ok, I'll go," She relented "But do you promise not to use your magic until you're sure it's back under control? I don't want any more surprise costume changes."

"It's a deal!"

"And do you promise not to leave me to make small talk with all those official ponies all evening?"

"I shall be the most devoted of escorts." He bowed, then tapped a claw on his chin "It's really rather fitting you come with me, now that you're Milady Chaos."

She laughed "Is that really my actual title, now we're married?"

"Do you know, I've never thought about it before," He grinned down at her "Do you like it?"

* * *

Wednesday 6.45pm – Hotel Bar, The Four Stallions

Twilight's heart rate had just about returned to normal by the time she entered the downstairs bar to find Spike and the four other mares waiting.

"Darling!" Rarity cried enthusiastically, seeming to have more than got over her earlier jitters "You look simply marvellous in that dress! I knew it would suit you but I never imagined how much. It's moments like this that make the hard work all worthwhile."

"Thanks Rarity," The Alicorn said, touched by her friend's praise "You're looking pretty amazing yourself!"

Rarity tossed her mane happily. She was looking very sophisticated in a dark blue sequin number that matched her eyes "Oh this old thing," She smiled "Just something I threw on!"

"Heck ah gotta say it, Twi," Said Applejack "Ya look real purdy tonight!"

"So do you." Twilight grinned at her.

"Shucks," The farm pony blushed. She was dressed in a simple green evening gown "Ah'm just glad Ah packed something fancy enough for this shindig!"

"And _I'm_ just glad I managed to convince her to leave that battered old hat in her room!" Said Rarity.

"Hey Twilight," Rainbow Dash said from the bar stool "Is Fluttershy on her way down? I haven't been able to get a-hold of her since this morning."

The Princess smiled nervously _"Omigosh! What in Equestria am I going to tell them? I can't even say why I never got to ask Fluttershy to come tonight!"_

"Did you try her room again?" She said out loud, playing for time.

"Yeah," Said Pinkie "And Discord's room, but there was nobody home."

Rainbow sighed in irritation "I'll bet she's been with him all day massaging his bruised ego," She put on a voice that was a passable imitation of Fluttershy's _"Oh Discord, did your magic go bye-bye?"_ She cooed in their friend's breathy tones _"You poor wittle baby! Let me stroke your paw until you're all better."_

"Rainbow, that's a mite unkind," Applejack said, her mouth quirked up in distaste.

"Oh come _on_!" Dash huffed "He just lo-o-oves having her make a fuss over him and she's a total sucker for it!"

Twilight could feel sweat starting to prickle on her brow _"I can't tell them what I found – it's not my secret to tell! Plus how would I explain I was snooping round someone else's hotel room? But how can I stay quiet all evening knowing the whole time that our kind, lovely friend is secretly married to – "_

"Discord?!" She blurted out as she suddenly spotted the Draconequus in the doorway of the bar, wearing some sort of military-looking uniform in lurid green with medals on it and accompanied by Fluttershy. He turned at the sound of her voice.

He bowed irreverently as he and the Pegasus reached them, keeping his eagle claw hidden behind his back. As he straightened up, she noticed that some of the medals said things like _"All-Equestria Pie-Eating Record Holder", "Chaosville Knitting Champion"_ and _"If You Can Read This, You're Standing Too Close."_

"You seem surprised to see me Princess," He said "Is it possible you've forgotten we're summit buddies?"

"No, I didn't forget." She said tightly as he turned to the others "What _are_ you wearing?"

"Just my usual diplomatic attire," He grinned "Ladies! Spike! I see you've been roped into this appalling horror show as well, my commiserations. Although I'm already condemned to die of boredom, I do take some comfort I shan't perish alone!"

" _Does he have some inkling that I know?"_ Twilight wondered. His expression was a little mocking when he looked at her, but no more than usual _"No, that's ridiculous, how could he? He doesn't even have his magic at the moment, or so he says… I wish he wasn't so hard to read."_

Whether Discord suspected anything she couldn't tell, but Fluttershy seemed totally unaware of any tension between her friends.

"Hello girls, Spike," She said, smiling happily "Oh my, you all look so elegant tonight."

She herself was wearing another one of Rarity's recent creations; a long gown with a frothy skirt in layers of some floaty, gauzy material over silk. It was coloured aquamarine, green and blue like the sea, with sequins on the bodice that suggested scales. There was a scarf of the same fabric round her throat and a pearly seashell comb pinning up one side of her hair.

"You look simply stunning darling, like a beautiful mermare!" Enthused Rarity "It's more than my dressmakers heart can take!"

"Well it's really down to you Rarity," Fluttershy told her "You have such an amazing talent. In fact I think this is my favourite of all the dresses you've ever made me."

At this praise, her unicorn friend's eyes moistened with tears but Twilight was a little surprised. That was a very self-assured reply for Fluttershy. Normally she couldn't take any kind of compliment on her appearance without blushing or stammering or at least seeming very uncomfortable, but as she watched the Pegasus's radiant smile didn't falter.

In fact now she came to notice it, Discord was grinning like a lunatic as well. He was definitely excited about something, full of hyperactive and slightly irritating good humour.

" _I can't say anything to the others,"_ She told herself _"I mustn't! I'll just keep an eye on them until I have a chance to talk to her alone. Whatever weird voodoo is going on between those two, I'll figure it out."_

* * *

Wednesday 8.10pm – The Equestria Summit Soiree, Las Pegasus Equine

"Oh Princess!" The Mayor of Manehattan fawned "I'm sure the city would just love to have you come for an official visit to us like you have done Las Pegasus."

"Oh Lord Mayor, nothing would give me greater pleasure," Twilight smiled "I'm sure Manehattan is due for a royal visit sometime very soon."

"We so rarely see the royal family in the city," The Mayor said pointedly "It's so nice that we now have a Princess who has time to leave Canterlot occasionally!"

"Well I don't actually live in Canterlot – " She began to say but was cut off by the Griffin Ambassador.

"What about Griffinstone?" She complained "It's been literally years since anypony of importance bothered to come and visit us!"

"Well Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie came just last year and – "

"Commoners!" Scoffed the Griffin "I meant anypony important and _royal!"_

Twilight did her best to contain her irritation "Well Ambassador," She said, through slightly gritted teeth "I've always wanted to visit Griffinstone. I would be honoured to make the trip if you would kindly extend me the invitation –"

To her surprise Discord suddenly appeared beside her "Pray excuse me," He said silkily "But I'm afraid I must claim the Princess of Friendship, at this moment she is needed elsewhere. Important friendship business, I'm sure you understand." The other delegates nodded politely " _What_ a shame! _So_ sorry!"

"What are you doing?" She hissed through a pasted on smile, as he steered her firmly towards another corner.

"Just doing somepony a favour." He said "You were clearly dying of boredom,"

"It's my job to be nice to them!" She fumed "And you're not helping!"

He gave her a devilish grin "And here I thought you were the Princess of _Friendship_ , not the Princess of _Sucking Up_."

"Just don't do me any more favours Discord!" She snapped irritably, unable to help herself.

The Draconequus looked more than a little nettled at her tone "The favour wasn't for you, it was for Fluttershy!" He sniffed haughtily "She was worried you looked like you needed a break. She sent me to rescue you, but if you don't need rescuing I really ought to get back to her. She's here as my guest after all and I did make a solemn vow to stay with her until the end." He smirked, as if at some private joke.

"You – " Twilight almost had to bite off her tongue to keep from yelling at him. She couldn't work out if he was deliberately taunting her. Deliberate or not, he always had a talent for getting under her skin. She shut her mouth and glared at him, enraged

He gave her a puzzled look "It may be my imagination Princess," He said "But you don't seem very happy with me this evening."

She didn't trust herself to answer but her eyes narrowed to furious slits.

He sighed "Well I confess myself at a loss to know how I could be so unfortunate as to offend _your Highness,"_ He said, giving her title an even more sarcastic emphasis than usual "But whatever it is, you can tell me. I thought you ponies prized honesty from your friends, no?"

"Honesty? You don't even – " She began, but stopped herself again. Ponies were beginning to look round at her raised voice. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Fluttershy turn from the two mares she was talking to, a worried expression on her face. "You don't even know the meaning of the word!" She hissed at him under her breath, trying to make herself smile as he scowled at her.

At that moment she glanced over and noticed a group of ponies who'd just appeared at the door, late arrivals to the party – probably there as some delegate's guests. Amongst them was a white Pegasus with a black mane. Twilight stared in dismay as she recognised the stallion she had woken up next to that morning. Thankfully, he didn't seem to have noticed her.

She gulped _"Oh please don't let Discord find out who it is!"_

Then, behind them, she heard a female voice shriek "Ooh, it's Jet Stream! The Wingers Captain!" Twilight's heart sank as she realised Discord had heard it too.

"Oh, I know what honesty means alright," His eyes flashed red for a second as he looked over her shoulder "But ask yourself, is that really what you want from me at this exact moment?"

Twilight's face turned pale and she turned back to the Draconequus who was wearing the most evil smirk "Discord please!" She said "I really can't deal with him right now! I know I haven't been in the best of moods with you but _please -_ " She leaned forward and gripped him by the upper arms.

As she lunged forward, she accidentally jogged the foreleg of one of the Manehatten delegation standing nearby, causing him to drop his cocktail glass. It fell to the ground and smashed, orange and red liquid splattering across the floor in a big, brightly coloured puddle.

Discord's grin vanished and his eyelid twitched.

Twilight stared in astonishment as he turned even paler than she had done and fled the room.

Twilight stood there stunned for a moment, then she apologised quickly to the stunned Manehattenite and hurried after the Draconequus as quickly as she could without causing too much of a disturbance _"What in the name of Celestia is going on!?"_ She thought _"OK, acting weird is normal for Discord, but not_ _ **that**_ _weird. Usually when he starts acting extra strange it spells trouble!"_

Galloping down the corridor, she caught sight of his tail disappearing into a doorway and raced after him. She bolted through the door and yelped in alarm as a brilliant fireball suddenly appeared, rushing towards her out of the darkness. Her first thought was that the he must be attacking her and instinctively she fired a bolt of magic to deflect it.

Her shot struck its target but instead of being destroyed, the sphere absorbed the beam and stopped dead, hanging in mid-air. It glowed, slowly expanding to twice its size. Then her magic kindled inside the ball and it began to spin, the glow from within it refracting and reflecting hundreds of little points of dazzling light across the walls.

Beyond the whirling sphere she could see the trickster god, eyes glowing.

"Discord!" She screamed over the howl of the magical vortex "What have you done?!"

"It just happened, I can't stop it!" He bellowed at her "You have to go get Fluttershy!"

"What for?" Twilight tried to run, but it was like she was moving through treacle. She couldn't even teleport "Discord, what's happening!?"

"You want the truth?" He yelled "You can't handle the truth!"

There was a noise like breaking glass as the time sphere burst, both of them shutting their eyes as the light rushed over them.


	9. Chapter 9

I hope you're enjoying the story. Thanks to those who've been kindly writing reviews. I feel like so far, Discord's been getting off pretty light, but he's about to enter a world of pain.

* * *

Tuesday, 11.10pm – The Skyhorse Bar

Discord was still staring after Fluttershy as she and Rarity weaved off unsteadily through the crowd.

"This really burns me up!" Spike said somewhere around knee level.

"What does?" Asked the Draconequus, in vacant tones.

"Just because you're _'the_ _most powerful being in Equestria!'_ " The little Dragon mimicked Glamour's husky voice.

"Just _what_ are you implying?" Growled the God of Chaos.

Just at that moment they were accosted by Twilight who almost tackled them to the floor. She hit them so hard she knocked Discord's glass right out of his claw, orange and red cocktail sloshing stickily onto the dance floor.

"Spike! Discord!" She said excitedly "We're going to the most amazing party, wanna come?"

Discord frowned, conjuring up a small fluffy creature not unlike Angel Bunny and using it to sponge off the cocktail she'd spilled over him "Party, what party?" He growled as the bunny squealed in protest.

"Only the birthday party for the captain of the Cloudsdale Wingers!" She turned and waved a hoof towards a group of three Pegasus stallions who were chatting animatedly to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie "They've invited us!"

Spike scratched his head "Who in the hoof are the Cloudsdale Wingers, Twilight?"

"I have no idea, but isn't he dreamy?" She sighed.

"Who?!"

"Jet Stream!" She waved like crazy to a white Pegasus with a black mane. He waved back, looking almost as drunk as she was "Isn't he amazing?"

"He's not really my type." Said Discord.

"Twilight," Said Spike "Don't you think we'd better all stick together?"

Twilight didn't even hear him "I don't know why I've never hung out with sports ponies before, they're so much fun! Just between us," She said in a stage whisper that was so loud it was probably heard by the next two tables as well, "I think he likes me, but shhhh!" She held a hoof in front of her mouth "Don't say anything!"

He raised an eyebrow and slapped a huge strip of tape across his mouth "Mmmphffmmmfbphe!"

"What?" She said.

"Owww!" He ripped the tape off, taking his beard with it " _I said_ 'Your secret is safe with me'." He said, reattaching it to his chin.

She gave him a manic grin "Woohoo! Best night _ever_! Tell the girls I said bye!"

"Oh great! Somepony else who completely ignores me!" Wailed Spike as Twilight ran over to re-join Pinkie and Dash " _Discord!_ Can't you stop her?"

"Oh, sorry. Did you say something?"

"Cut it out!" The Dragon smacked him on the arm "We can't let them go off to this party on their own!"

"Well she's not alone, she's with Pinkie and Dashie," Discord considered this for a moment, squinting drunkenly at his talons "And of _course_ I could stop them easily, but they won't thank me for it – in fact technically I think it would be pony-napping! She is a Princess after all. How do you think she'll react if I use my magic to keep her away from _Mr Dreamy_?" He spoke in Twilight's voice and fluttered his eyelashes, turning his face into a replica of hers for a moment.

"Well, why not? _She_ treats _me_ like a child!" Spike fumed "You don't get how annoying it is. At least ponies take you seriously!"

"Don't remind me!" The Chaos God lamented "It seems to happen, no matter what I do!"

" _I mean_ it's not fair, you've got mares falling all over you and you're not even interested in them!"

"I hardly think one over-enthusiastic female constitutes a fan club."

"And what about those two jerks who were bothering the girls?" The Dragon continued angrily "They were terrified and you didn't even have to lift a claw!"

Discord frowned "Yes well, I'm an obscenely-powerful deity. They ought to be afraid. Very afraid!"

"So how do you think I feel, not being able to stick up for Rar – I mean, my friends?" The Dragon said hotly "Half the time they don't even notice I'm here!"

Discord sighed. He could see he wasn't going to get away with not having this heart-to-heart. He snapped his talons and they reappeared back at the table with two more drinks in their claws.

"Soooo," He asked "This problem you have – just a wild guess – but is it in some way related to your unswerving yet wholly unrealistic devotion to Rarity?"

"Go ahead, laugh it up," Spike took a long unhappy draft of his Mare-quila Sunrise "Just because you've never felt that way about anyone!"

"Ding ding! Correct!" The Chaos God grinned "I'd never let myself get soattached to anypony. Know why? Because _I'm_ not a sucker!"

"It's not like I have a choice!" The Dragon bit back angrily "You don't even know what it's like to be in love!"

"Right again!" The Draconequus drummed his claws impatiently on the edge of the table and added under his breath _"But I have a feeling you're about to tell me all about it."_

"I just can't help it," Spike took a deep breath, obviously even an unsympathetic listener was better than none "I think about her all the time. I want to be with her all the time and I get, like, chills up my spine and butterflies in my stomach whenever I do see her! I'd do anything for her, even if it makes me unhappy because her happiness is much more important than mine! But I don't know how I'm ever going to impress her when she doesn't even take me seriously –"

About two sentences into the lovelorn dragon's monologue, Discord's talons stopped drumming and he froze.

To his horror, he understood perfectly where Spike was coming from because … because…

" _Because he is describing exactly how you feel about Fluttershy – admit it!"_

A ghostly miniature Discord dressed as a prosecuting lawyer appeared on the table in front of him, pointing an accusatory talon _"The way you've changed yourself to please her! The way you want to be with her all the time! The way you risked your life to save her!"_

"Oh come _on_ ," Discord rallied, trying to mount a defence "I did that for the good of everypony!"

" _Ah-ah-ah! You can't lie to me, I'm you – remember? We both know you were only really thinking about her. You even brought five extra guests here with you because you just couldn't bear to disappoint her!"_

"I was _trying_ to be a good friend!" He said under his breath. Luckily, Spike seemed to be quite heavily under the influence after just two cocktails. He was still waxing lyrical about Rarity and hadn't noticed Discord being cross-examined by himself.

" _Friends – hah!"_ The demon counsel for the prosecution said scornfully " _Step out of the little domicile of delusion you've built for yourself! You've never done anything even a bit unselfish for anypony else in your whole existence until you met_ _ **her**_ _, she makes you want to be a better Draconequus!"_

"So?" Discord protested "That's what friends do, bring out the best in each other. It doesn't mean I'm in love with her!"

" _You're right,"_ The mini-prosecutor shrugged _"Why would you be? She's nothing special."_

"You take that back!" Discord growled "She's the most wonderful pony who ever lived!"

" _You see? You can't bear to hear her criticised! And what about the pink misty thing that keeps happening when you're together? The bluebirds singing? Stop fooling yourself!"_

Discord stared at his smaller self "It's true, that has been happening a lot," He said to himself slowly "I mean, almost every time I see her… but that doesn't mean I'm in love with her… does it?" He gave the tiny lawyer a pleading look.

" _Oh look at me, I'm Discord and I like living in denial so much, I've bought a condo here."_ The other him said sarcastically _"Come on, wake up! I put it to you that you're hopelessly in love with her! Bewitched! Besotted! Bedazzled! – "_

" _Alright!_ _Alight – yes! I admit it!_ " He hissed, trying to stop the tirade "But what do you suggest I _do_ about it?"

The prosecutor shrugged _"Beats me – after all, I'm you_ _ **. Sucker!**_ _"_ Then he disappeared in a puff of magic.

Discord sat there for a moment, gazing down at his claws

The huge amount of alcohol he'd consumed seemed to have dissolved his illusions along with his synapses, allowing him to see things clearly for the first time in his long existence "It's true, I _am_ in love with her!" He said in a shocked voice "How can I not have seen it before? I'm crazy about her!"

"Hello boys!" Suddenly Rarity appeared at the side of the table and both of them jumped as if they'd been stung.

"You two look guilty, not talking about me I hope!" She teased "Where are the others?"

"Oh sorry Rarity!" Spike stammered "They went off to a party with some sports stars, Twilight said to tell you –"

"Oh no, I can't believe I missed that!" She cried, then brightened up "No wait a minute I see Applejack over there! Yoo-hoo - AJ!"

Before she could teeter off, the Draconequus caught her by the foreleg "Where's Fluttershy? I thought she was with you?"

"Oh shorry darling, she went off to look for Rainbow and the others,"

He sat up "She went off on her own?"

"She thought they went to the club downstairs." Rarity waved a hoof vaguely "I'm sure she'll be back when she realises they're not there." Then she leapt back onto the dance floor to throw her forelegs around Applejack.

" _Fluttershy went off on her own? After all those cocktails?"_ Immediately he felt uneasy _"I have to make sure she's alright."_ Then drunken logic kicked in. _"And once I find her I'm going to tell her how I feel. We'll be alone, it's the perfect opportunity!"_

To his way of thinking, it was the only course of action. Why wouldn't he tell her?

In many ways Discord was highly intelligent but for him, self-denial and self-doubt were usually things that happened to somepony else.

"I've got to tell her! Right now!" He said out loud, shocking Spike out of his gloomy meditation on doomed romance.

"Tell who? What?!"

The Chaos God didn't answer him but quickly swallowed the contents of his glass, slammed it down on the table, snapped his fingers and vanished.

After a few beats he reappeared "Oh, and for what it's worth, you should confess to Rarity how you feel; have faith in yourself; climb every mountain; faint heart never won fair maiden. You know; all that jazz!"

Spike goggled at him "But what if she rejects me? What if it ruins our friendship?"

"It's what I would do!" He told the astonished dragon. Then after a moment's thought he gulped down the rest of Spike's drink for good measure and vanished again.

"But what if she – " Spike asked and then realised he was talking to empty air "Discord, that's _terrible_ advice!"

* * *

Wednesday 8.10pm – The Equestria Summit Gala, Las Pegasus Equine

"Oh my gawsh honey, that dress really is gawjus!" The brassy blue unicorn with the orange mane gushed.

"Thank you," Fluttershy said "It's from my friend's boutique in Ponyville – "

"Ponyville?!" The mare's friend – a green earth pony – interrupted loudly "But it's so chic, I never knew you could get such classy gear out in the sticks!"

Fluttershy smiled weakly. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Rarity's murderous stare "Actually Rarity's very fashion forward, she also has a boutique in Manehatten – "

"Oh ignore her, honey," The blue unicorn said, giving her friend a pointed look "Her husband may be a diplomat but _she_ ain't got no manners!"

The green mare didn't seem at all embarrassed "But sweetie you should get Cheesie to take you next time he goes to Manehatten!"

Fluttershy frowned as memory flashed a fin "Cheesie?"

"My hubby," The blue unicorn said proudly "He's the Mayor of Fillydelphia, Big Cheese. I'm the Lady Mayoress; Cream Cheese. Have you met him?"

"I … think so," Fluttershy said uneasily, remembering Candy Canes draping herself over the Mayor. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea to admit to meeting him.

"Honey you sound like I feel," Cream Cheese gave a long suffering sigh "This is the first time I've gotten him to take me on one of these things in years and I ain't hardly seen him _the whole time_!"

"Oh… what a shame," Fluttershy was suddenly distracted as she heard Twilight shouting behind her and turned to see the Princess of Friendship talking to Discord. Neither of them looked happy.

Cream Cheese was still speaking "I says to him _'Cheesie, I ain't missing out on Las Pegasus. Either you take me and the boys this time, or else!'_ Of course he knew I meant business!"

"Yes, I'm sure." Fluttershy tried to keep her attention on what the blue unicorn was saying but her gaze kept being dragged back to Discord and Twilight. They looked like they were having some sort of argument. _"Oh no! What can have happened? I hope I didn't do the wrong thing by asking him to go and get her. She just looked so bored!"_

"Of course I ain't seen my boys either but hey, they're young!" Cream Cheese waved a hoof "Let 'em have their fun!"

"That's nice." Fluttershy said, as she watched Twilight turn pale

"But Cheesie? Of course he's had 'meetings' to go to every night," Cream Cheese gave a cynical smile "Ha! I said to him _'Meetings my flank! I'll bet you've been to every casino and gin joint in town!'_ "

"Oh, surely not?" Fluttershy said distractedly. Behind them she could see Twilight grab hold of the Draconequus. There was the sound of breaking glass.

Cream Cheese gave a long suffering sigh "Oh don't get me wrawng, I know my hubby likes a game'a dice and I know he's a barfly but I told him straight " _If I ever catch you even looking at another mare, I'll kick you out so fast your hooves'll catch on fire."_ He knows not to cross me, not like most stallions who think they can use every summit and embassy ball as an opportunity to cut loose!"

Fluttershy's brow drew down in a worried frown and she clasped her hooves together as she watched Discord turn pale and bolt out of the room.

"Oh no!" She said.

"Oh honey I'm sorry," Said Cream Cheese, misinterpreting the cause of her distress "I got a big mouth! You're the mare who's married to the Lord of Chaos, aintcha?"

That brought Fluttershy back into the conversation with a crash "Where did you hear that?!" She said in astonishment.

"Oh… you two ain't married?" Cream Cheese and her friend gave each other a significant look "Seein' you together I just thought… well my advice is get him to put a ring on it tootsuite, honey. Ya gotta start as ya mean to go on with stallions!" Then she broke into a beaming smile "Speakin' of which here they are; the party crashers! Where ya been ya two good-for-nuthins?"

Fluttershy turned to see two unicorns, one blue and one pale yellow, trotting over to meet them

"Honey, these are my boys," Said Cream Cheese proudly "Hard Cheese and Blue Cheese. Boys this is Flittersky – "

"I'm really sorry," Fluttershy stammered "It's lovely to meet you but, uh, I have to go!" And she turned and left the room at a gallop.

"Tsk, poor thing – she went awful pale!" Cream Cheese clucked sympathetically "Do ya think it was somethin' I said?"

* * *

Wednesday 8.45pm – The Las Pegasus Equine

For the second time that day, Twilight came to feeling disorientated and dizzy. She looked around. From what she could tell she was in another plush function room but it was empty and dark, not currently in use. To her right there was a huge set of glass doors that opened onto a balcony. Through them, she could see the night sky and the city below.

The glowing sphere had vanished as if it had never been.

Twilight winced "O-o-oh, what in Equestria was that thing?"

"It was a flashback, brought about by a time sphere if you really must know."

She turned. In the half dark she could see Discord pushing himself up on his claws.

"What," She demanded "Is a time sphere?"

"Just what it sounds like," The Draconequus said testily "A ball of time. I'm afraid I've been storing it up, quite involuntarily I might add."

"I thought you were attacking me!"

"If I _were_ attacking you, you wouldn't be standing there still in your own shape!" He grumbled "It's just a magical temporal reflux that incidentally gives you a little reprise of all we forgot last night, as you saw."

"Oh yes, last night!" She said "I remember now, some of it anyway. I was just so wasted! What was I _thinking_ to get so drunk? And you – "

They locked eyes with each other as the significance of what they had just seen hit them both.

Her jaw dropped " _You!_ " She gasped "What you said! In that bar!"

"Oh, you mean what I told Spike about confessing to Rarity?" He gave a nervous grin "Not the best advice in the cold light of day I'll admit." But Twilight wasn't listening.

"Of course," She said to herself "That's why you wanted us all to come here!"

"Oh Twilight," He scoffed unconvincingly "You shouldn't pay any heed to all that nonsense, that was just the booze talking – "

"That's why you wanted us all to get so drunk last night!"

"I didn't pour the cocktails down your throat!" He snapped "As I recall, you didn't need any encouragement from me!"

"This explains the marriage certificate," She shook her head "This explains everything!"

"You – " He pulled up short "Wait, how do you know about the marriage certificate?"

"I found it when I went to your room, looking for you!" She said.

Discord's eyes narrowed with rage "Thought you'd make yourself at home, did you?"

"It's a good thing I did!" Twilight cried, so angry she'd stopped feeling guilty about prying "You manipulated Fluttershy into getting married because you think you're in love with her!"

"I _am_ in love with her!" He burst out, stung into honesty.

"If you love her, why did you trick her into marrying you when she was drunk? _That's not love_!" Twilight threw the words at him like daggers "You wanted her and you got her the only way you know: by deception! You fixed things so you could trap her and then you made her keep it a secret!"

Discord couldn't think what to say, he was too busy panicking " _What if she convinces Fluttershy I did trick her?"_ He thought _"What if it poisons things between us so completely we're not even friends anymore? What if she never wants to see me again?!"_

The thought of life without her inspired in him a fear that was almost overwhelming. In all his long existence he had rarely, if ever, been afraid of anything. Right now he was terrified. The terror increased exponentially, getting stronger and stronger, until suddenly it stuck.

Suddenly Wrathful Discord wasn't some voice in his head, some suppressed part of his psyche.

Suddenly he _was_ Wrathful Discord.

His eyes burned in the darkness and he drew himself up to his full height, lion paw and eagle claw balling into fists, crackling with power.

"This doesn't concern you _, Princess_!" He snarled, teeth bared.

"Oh yes it does!" The Alicorn faced him, her horn now surrounded by a glittering corona of energy.

As they squared up to each other, magic swirling around them, a third voice from the doorway cried _"Discord, stop!"_


	10. Chapter 10

Wednesday 9.10pm – The Las Pegasus Equine

"Discord! Twilight!" Gasped Fluttershy "What in the world is going on?"

"Fluttershy!" The Draconequus gaped in dismay, then turning back to the Princess "I'm warning you Twilight Sparkle," He snarled "Butt out _or else!"_

"Fluttershy he's been planning this all along!" Twilight yelled at her "I'll bet he only wanted us all to come to Las Pegasus so he could trap you!"

"Trap me?" The yellow mare exclaimed "Twilight, whatever do you mean?"

As she spoke, Discord growled. The aura of power around him intensified and the air shimmered like a heat haze. The magical breeze blowing through the room became a howling gale, the walls distorting and stretching as if reflected in a fairground mirror. The white marble pillars transformed into shaving foam and began to melt; dripping down onto the carpet and the carved vines at the top of them hissed and writhed like snakes.

As the room warped in the grip of Discord's chaos magic, Twilight's horn lit up in answer. A shining field of energy appeared around her as she prepared to attack.

Without hesitation Fluttershy leapt in between them.

"What in Equestria's gotten into you both?" She cried desperately "How can you behave like this when you're _friends_?!"

The magical energy inside the room was now so strong that both Twilight and Fluttershy began to rise into the air, lifted off their hooves by the telekinetic storm. Underneath them the pattern of the carpet morphed and changed as it became multi-coloured taffy.

"Fluttershy, I know you two got married last night when you were both drunk," Twilight told her desperately as a swarm of canapés scurried past under her hooves "But it doesn't have to stay that way, we can fix this. We're your friends; you don't have to keep secrets from us, no matter what he says!"

"Stand back Fluttershy," Snarled Discord "The Princess needs to learn to stay out of our business!" His razor claws slashed a glowing rent in the fabric of reality – a gateway to another dimension. His lion paw beckoned Twilight, willing her towards him.

The shield around Twilight glowed hot as she tried to resist, but without the Elements of Harmony, her magic was no match for his. Slowly but inexorably, she was being dragged forward.

Fluttershy looked from one to the other; then she turned towards Discord.

He looked utterly terrifying. Ugly shadows were massing around him and his features were distorted with rage, but she faced him without fear.

"Discord stop." She said softly, "If you cared about me, you'd stop."

Even over the wail of magic, he heard what she said.

He looked down and instantly he was transfixed. Her mane and her dress were billowing around her, borne aloft in the unearthly maelstrom. Surrounded by shoals of cutlery swimming through the air like fish, she looked too beautiful to be real. Those huge blue-green eyes suddenly seemed to fill the world.

" _Don't let her distract you, j_ _ust concentrate on shutting Twilight up_ _!"_ He told himself _"What you're feeling right now is just a neurochemical reaction caused by hormones that are released when you… when you look at… the most beautiful… creature in…all of creation… "_ He lost his train of thought and realised that once again he could hear birds singing and somewhere violins were playing _"Who am I kidding?"_ He sighed and a dazed smile spread over his face.

As he gazed at her, the glow faded from his fists and the enchanted tempest sputtered and died, dropping Twilight and Fluttershy lightly to the floor. They looked around to find the room had returned to normal.

"I'm so sorry Fluttershy." He said "I just got a little… carried away."

"But you stopped." She said, putting her hoof on his paw "That's what matters."

Twilight began to talk to her "Fluttershy, thank goodness you managed to make him see reason!"

Fluttershy took a deep breath "Twilight," She gulped "I think you should go back to the party."

"What?!" The Alicorn did a double take " _Why?_ "

"Because Discord is right."

"He _is_?!" Yelped Twilight incredulously.

" _I am?"_ The Draconequus checked in surprise "Ahem! I mean; Yes, I am!"

"Fluttershy, how can you say that?" Her friend pleaded.

"Because it's true," The Pegasus told her firmly "Twilight I don't know how you found out we got married, but I asked Discord to keep quiet for a good reason."

The Draconequus gripped her shoulder "Darling I swear, I never said a word – you must believe me!" He said pleadingly.

"Wait – hold on just a minute!" Twilight put her hoof over her eyes "Fluttershy, it was _you_ who wanted to keep it a secret?"

The Pegasus sighed "Yes."

"But… why would you _do_ this?"

Fluttershy's eyes glittered with sudden defiance "Why did I want to keep it a secret or why did we get married?"

Twilight was taken aback "Well… both!"

"I'm sorry Twilight, but I'll have to give you the same answer to both those questions; you're my friend and I love you, _but it's none of your business!"_

Twilight gaped "None of my business that you decided to get _married_ whilst you were _drunk_? To _Discord_?! That's ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous, it's private.… this is between me and my husband."

"Your _husband_?!"

"Yes." Fluttershy looked uncomfortable, but she stood her ground "We're trying to work this all out and we don't need anypony else interfering. Even you."

"I… I'm not trying to interfere," Twilight stammered "I just don't want you to have to deal with this on your own!"

"I'm not on my own," The Pegasus said as behind her, the Draconequus started to smirk broadly "Now I think you should go back to the party. Ponies will be wondering where the Princess of Friendship has got to and… I need to speak to Discord. Alone please."

Twilight stared at her. This wasn't the timid, deferential Fluttershy she was used to. This mare was in full control of the situation.

"I …" The Alicorn sighed "I'll go… I guess, as long as you're sure you'll be ok."

"I'll be fine."

"Ta-ta." The Draconequus gave her a little wave over Fluttershy's shoulder, grinning like a cat that's just been told it is the sole beneficiary of its elderly owner's will and is planning on a swimming pool filled with cream.

Fluttershy glanced up at him and he instantly wiped the grin off, putting his hands behind his back.

She turned back to Twilight "Please, don't mention this to the others, they won't understand."

* * *

Wednesday 9.27pm – The Las Pegasus Equine

"Thank you for sticking up for me, Flitterflutter," Discord said to her after Twilight had gone.

He was trying to play it cool but inside he was dancing a jig of exaltation _"She took my side against Twilight, she wants to be alone with me! Maybe she feels the same as I do!"_

Then Fluttershy turned and he was surprised to see there were tears in her eyes "Whatever's the matter?"

She gave a little sniffle "I just hope I didn't hurt her feelings!"

"You were the soul of tact," He said "And I'm sure Twilight can handle a bit of straight talking once in a while."

She took a deep breath and said in strict tones "So are you going to tell me what's been going on?"

Discord tapped his claws together nervously "Whatever do you mean, my dear?"

"I _mean_ ," Fluttershy fixed him with a steely aquamarine gaze "Why were you and Twilight fighting?"

"Oh, that? Haha," The Draconequus tried to laugh it off "Just a simple misunderstanding, I promise!"

"A misunderstanding?!"

"Everything's fine darling," He said, then he realised something else "In fact everything is better than fine, my magic is working again! I can rip the very fabric of the universe once more!" He kissed his lion paw and eagle claw "Oh, let's never fight again!" He told his hands.

As he said this an audience stand filled with versions of himself appeared, cheering and whistling.

"But what happened?" Fluttershy called over the thunderous applause "Was it another time sphere?"

He snapped his talons and the hooting crowd disappeared "Yes, although it was Twilight who triggered it on this occasion," He gripped her forelegs suddenly "And it made me realise something. Fluttershy – "

"Discord, what did you _see?_ " She demanded "Did it explain why we ended up getting married?"

"Not exactly …" His face lit up "But now my magic is back, I don't have to _tell you_ , I can _show you!_ "

"What? You still didn't get rid of all the time you absorbed?" She looked puzzled "But then, how can your magic be working – "

She stopped dead as he touched the index talon of his eagle claw to her forehead.

There was a flash of light.

* * *

Tuesday 11.30pm – The Skyhorse Bar

Rarity had to employ some pretty unladylike tactics to push her way over to Applejack across the packed dance floor but she managed it.

"AJ!" She squealed in delight "I thought you'd gone off to the party with the others but here you are!"

Applejack was almost knocked off balance as her friend unsteadily embraced her, her cocktail sloshing all over both of them.

"Shhhucks sugarcube," Slurred the farm pony, "Ah didn't mean to shpill it on yah!"

"Relax Darling!" The unicorn cried "There's no point worrying over a few tiny drops!"

Applejack's brows shot upwards in surprise "Are ya feelin' OK Rare?"

"Of course!" Rarity laughed "Oh please Applejack, you'd think I was the biggest Fussypants in Equestria!"

The earth mare smiled at her boozily "Now where'd Ah ever get that idea?"

"But we shimply must find the others!" Rarity began to scan the room "I can't believe they would have gone off without us – "

"Well there's Spike sittin' over there." Applejack pointed.

Rarity turned "Oh! But Discord was with him a moment ago!"

"Well he ain't with 'im now, that varmint's as slippery as a cornsnake in a barrel o'oil!"

"Poor Shpike! We can't leave him all on his own!" The unicorn pouted, and they began pushing their way back through the crowd, raising a chorus of 'Oohs' and 'Ows' in their wake as Rarity employed a few well-placed hooves and elbows to clear their path.

"Spikey darling!" Spike looked up in surprise as Rarity and Applejack arrived at his table. Rarity grabbed his face in her hooves, smooshing his cheeks "You shimply can't stay here moping all night, come and dance!"

"Yeah come on Spike!" Applejack grinned but before the Dragon had a chance to answer them a hoof landed on Rarity's shoulder. She turned to see the blue and yellow unicorn stallions who had accosted her and Fluttershy earlier. She'd have recognised them immediately, even if they hadn't still had little traces of greasepaint smudged on their faces.

"Hey, it's that stuck-up mare who doesn't know a good thing when she sees it!" Said the pale yellow unicorn.

"Unhoof me you… you troglodyte!" Rarity cried furiously.

"Y'all get your dirty hooves off ma friend!" Shouted Applejack.

"Coupla livewires, huh?" Said his blue friend "Which do ya want bro, the loudmouth hayseed or the toffee-nosed sourpuss?"

"Yeah, yer pet god ain't here to fight yer battles now!" Sneered the yellow stallion, then blinked in surprise to find a very small but very angry dragon staring him in the face, holding on by two handfuls of orange mane.

"You let go of – argggh!" Spike yelped as the unicorn tossed his head, sending the little dragon flying across the table. A slew of drink and empty glasses went crashing to the ground.

"Nopony does that to my little Spikey Wikey - Hiiiiyah!" Rarity screamed, and as two unicorn stallions were looking to see where the dragon had gone she swung her hoof and delivered a right hook to the yellow stallion's jaw. As he spun round to try and grab her she followed it up with another solid blow.

He folded up with a dopey expression on his face and little birds tweeting around his head. As his blue friend made a lunge for Rarity, Applejack turned and bucked him right into a nearby table, which collapsed as he landed on it.

The whole bar went silent as a hundred conversations ground to a halt. Spike peered up from underneath the table, dripping with booze, a wilting slice of lemon dangling from his head spine.

A couple of burly security ponies were closing in on them.

"Oh no…" He said.

* * *

Wednesday 9.35pm – The Las Pegasus Equine

Fluttershy came back to the present with a jolt, to see Discord flexing his talons in irritation "I think you must be right my dear," He said

"Right about what?" She said dizzily, still trying to get her bearings.

"About my magic still being affected by the time retention," He grimaced disgustedly "I was trying to show you the part of last night where we … you know … tied the knot." He looped himself around her in giant bow before snapping out of it.

Fluttershy frowned "But instead… I saw Spike and Rarity and Applejack… I saw how they got into that fight!"

"Oh yes, yes, but that's my point exactly; that wasn't what I was trying to show you _at all!_ But Fluttershy I really need to – "

"We have to get back to the party!"

He stared at her, utterly crestfallen "But I thought you said you wanted to talk!"

"That can wait," She gasped "This can't!"

"What could possibly be more important than talking to _me?_!" He wailed, but she was already running.

"What's the big rush?" He pleaded as he chased her down the hall "They don't have to face the charges until tomorrow!"

"Because we have a chance to get Spike, Rarity and Applejack out of trouble," She said "And it has to be tonight!"

She suddenly skidded to a halt just before they reached the entrance to the room where the soiree was being held and he stopped only just in time to keep from piling into her.

" _But why does it have to be tonight?"_ He whispered as she peered round the doorframe.

"Because the stallions you chased off in that bar are the same ones who got into the fight with Rarity, AJ and Spike," She pointed them out with her hoof "Big Cheese's sons!"

"The _clowns_ are related to that _loudmouth!?_ "

"Yes! I was just introduced to them but they didn't recognise me." She quickly relayed to him her conversation with Big Cheese's wife and how she'd come to meet the two stallions.

He raised an eyebrow, intrigued despite his impatience "So what are you thinking?"

"I'm _thinking_ we can do something about it."

"I'm listening."

"Well," Her lashes lowered hesitantly "I thought if we just explained to Big Cheese that the way they behaved wasn't very nice and how much trouble they've caused, maybe he can convince them to reconsider and drop the charges?"

" _That's_ your plan?" He exclaimed "My dear! I know you're above such things but trust me, this calls for much more under-hooved tactics. Lucky for you, devious cunning is my speciality!" He rubbed his paw and claw together with evil glee.

"You're not going to hurt anypony are you?"

"Not if they play ball. Now here's what we'll do; you handle the wife and I'll deal with Mr Name-Dropper. Oh yes, and we'll need to get Applejack and Rarity and …" He stopped short "You intended all along to rope me into this, didn't you?"

"Oh no, of course not!" She said sweetly.

He gave her a look that was part suspicious and part amused "Sometimes my dear I think you're too good to be true and other times I think you know how to play me just like a Steedivarius!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Quick author's note, a couple of people asked why Spike got arrested – well technically he did start the fight by grabbing hold of Hard Cheese's mane. It's a little unfair I know as he didn't actually hit anypony, but in my experience bouncers aren't interested in excuses (not that I've been in that many bar room brawls, ahem). Also please forgive the Fluttercord teasing, it will be worth it in the end.**

* * *

Wednesday 9.50pm – The Equestria Summit Soiree – Las Pegasus Equine

"The Lord of Chaos!" Big Cheese cried as he saw them coming over "Sure am glad to see you again."

"Oh Cheesie, you can drop the title – you'll make me uncomfortable! Just call me Discord." The Draconequus flashed him a smile "After all, we don't want to be too formal do we, now that we're buddies?"

The unicorn looked pleased "No siree!"

"You remember my friends from last night?" Discord waved a paw by way of introduction "Rarity, Applejack and Spike?"

"Sure do!" The Mayor of Fillydelphia beamed at them all "And how did you all enjoy the Las Pegasus nightlife?"

"Oh it was super!" Began Rarity, but Discord cut her off "Well not so much actually Cheesie," He leaned down to say in his ear, none-too quietly "My dear friends are in a bit of bother with the law I'm afraid. It seems they had a little contretemps that turned ugly and the ponies involved are pressing charges, effectively throwing the book at them."

"Discord, you promised!" Rarity cried in fury, whilst and Spike ducked a large, heavy, leather-bound volume that winged its way over their heads.

"Oh, well, that sure is a pity," Big Cheese said heartily "I can't imagine you sweet, little fillies getting into a fight!"

Rarity and Applejack scowled disgustedly at his patronising remark and Spike folded his arms, in a huff at being ignored, but the Draconequus hooked an arm chummily around the Mayor's shoulders "I'm _so_ glad you think so Cheesie, because I was hoping that seeing as we're such good pals, you could help us out."

The Unicorn stallion seemed puzzled "What can I do for you?"

"Wellllll," Drawled the Spirit of Chaos "By astonishing coincidence, it is your two beloved progeny who are bringing the charges against my friends."

He waited a moment as the Mayor looked at him blankly.

"You know," Discord prompted "Your sons?"

Applejack, Rarity and Spike gaped at him in surprise whilst Big Cheese's mouth dropped open "What? My boys wouldn't get into a fight with no females!"

"Oh you can discuss their various personality problems with them later," The Draconequus said "But I'm sure you wouldn't mind having a little word and convincing them to let this whole wretched matter drop!"

"Now wait just a minute," Big Cheese pulled away from Discord "I ain't gonna do no such thing, I don't know what happened between my sons and you girls but I'll bet they didn't do nothing wrong! My boys just like to have a good time!"

Discord's eyes narrowed "And I imagine they're a chip off the old block."

"They sure are!"

The Chaos God gave him an evil grin "Just like I'll bet you had fun at your "meeting" last night?"

Big Cheese chuckled nervously, then rallied "Oh er… well you know what it's like when you're out on the town with the boys."

"Oh indeed I _do_!" The Draconequus agreed "In fact I ran into someone else who knows what it's like when you're on the town with the boys…" And he turned and gave a piercing whistle.

At the sound a cerise pink earth mare with a pink and white striped mane wearing a sparkly white and blue dress came bounding over. As he spotted her, Big Cheese's face became a picture of shock.

The mare seemed not to even notice and threw herself at him "Hi there Cheesie baby!" She squealed, planting an overly familiar kiss on his cheek "I'm so happy to see you again!"

"Of course, you remember Candy Canes," Discord said with a wicked little glint in his eye.

The Mayor of Fillydelphia was now subtly trying to disengage himself from the enthusiastic female without making a scene "Oh yes," he said "I'm just … surprised to see her here!" He leaned closer to the Draconequus and hissed _"What are you trying to do to me?"_

"Oh but I thought you were bosom companions! Unless…" Discord gasped and put his eagle claw and lion paw to his face "Unless I've made a mistake in thinking the two of you were friends? Oh how simply mortifying!"

Candy Canes giggled and blew teasingly in Big Cheese's ear.

" _For pony's sake get rid of her before my wife sees!"_

At that moment, the Mayor blanched as he spotted Cream Cheese headed towards them, obviously deep in conversation with Fluttershy. As luck would have it, his sons Hard Cheese and Blue Cheese were approaching from the other direction

"Get rid of her? _Me?!"_ Discord put a palm to his chest in surprise "What do you expect _me_ to do Cheesie?" His voice dropped to a growl, all his good humour evaporating _"Especially as you refuse to help my friends out of their little predicament."_

The Mayor's eyes darted from side to side in desperation and sweat began to roll down his face as he realised he was trapped; caught between his clingy and overly demonstrative fling, his suspicious wife and a seriously displeased deity.

It was at that moment his two sons arrived.

"Hey!" Hard Cheese began "I recognise youse guys -"

"Omigawsh!" Blue Cheese face turned white with fright as he spotted the Draconequus "I sure recognise _him_!"

Rarity bristled with rage as their faces clicked in her memory "And now _I_ remember _you_ , you uncouth louts!"

That seemed to make up Big Cheese's mind "You two!" He barked at the luckless stallions "What's this I hear about you botherin' these here ladies, huh?"

"Us? But Dad – " Blue Cheese started to whine.

"Don't give me no lip, ya hoodlums!" Big Cheese looked so angry now that Candy Cane fell back in surprise, releasing her hold on him "Think you can go out causin' trouble, bringing the Cheese name and the friends of the Princess into disrepute? I thought I taught ya better than that!"

"What in Equestria is goin' on?" His wife cried as she finally got within earshot of their conversation "Cheesie, why're you givin' the boys such a hard time?"

"You got here just in time honey," Big Cheese blustered "There's been a bit of a mix up here but I'm sorting things out!"

"What kind of a mix up?"

"The boys here had a little … misunderstanding with these here fillies who're friends with the Princess and the Lord of Chaos," Big Cheese waved a hoof, getting into his role as gracious benefactor "But I'm just telling them they don't need to worry about it no more, cos we're all going to just forget about it and let bygones be bygones. _Isn't that right boys_?" He snapped at his two sons, who nodded sullenly.

"Is that so?" Cream Cheese looked at him sceptically and then at Candy Canes, her wifely radar starting to ping "And who might you be?"

"Oh, she's a friend of mine," Fluttershy said quickly "She came with us for the conference."

" _She is?"_ Spike, Rarity and Applejack swivelled to stare at her in disbelief.

"Yes indeed," Discord said smoothly, taking his cue from Fluttershy he put an arm around Candy and his other arm round Spike, Rarity and Applejack, sweeping them into a bear hug before any of them could protest "We're all very close, isn't that right everypony?"

"Ah'm not sure," Applejack said dubiously "Truth to tell Ah'm not sure just _what's_ going on!"

"Cream Cheese, these are my friends Rarity, Applejack, Spike," Fluttershy said, desperately trying to pour oil on troubled waters "And my…" She hesitated as the others greeted the mare politely "My … other friend, Discord."

"The Chaos Lord huh?" Cream Cheese peered at him curiously "Yeah I seen you around with your 'friend' here," She indicated Fluttershy "But I didn't realise you and my hubby were so close,"

The Draconequus gave her his most charming smile "And _I_ didn't realise the Mayor of Fillydelphia was such a lucky stallion," He purred taking her by the hoof "Though I must say he hasn't exaggerated your charms."

"Oh you're just sayin' that!" The blue unicorn fluttered her lashes at the Draconequus.

"I think I'm going to be **sick**!" Spike muttered.

Discord ignored him "Not at all, I assure you," He said "He never stops rhapsodising about you!"

"Awww, Cheesie is that true?" Cream Cheese turned to her husband in surprise and he had the grace to look a little guilty.

"Of course honey," He said gruffly "You'll always be the most beautiful mare in Equestria to me, you know that!"

"Awww, who knew you were such a big softie?" She gave him an adoring look.

Then she glanced down at Discord's eagle claw, as he hadn't yet let go of her hoof. Her eyes widened in surprise as she saw the little gold band sparkling on his talon and she leaned over to Fluttershy.

"Gawsh honey," She said "You sure are a fast worker!"

* * *

Wednesday 10.35pm – The Equestria Summit Soiree, Las Pegasus Equine

As soon as the Mayor of Fillydelphia had hurriedly shepherded his family away, Rarity, Applejack and Spike all started firing questions at once.

"Darling! Whatever's going on?"

"How did y'all know they were gonna be here?"

"How did you know they brought the charges?"

"Hey, Discord!" They were interrupted as Candy Canes stomped over "Can you take this hocus pocus off me now?" She complained loudly as the others gaped.

He chuckled, snapped his talons and the earth mare's shocking pink fur and stripy pink and white mane dissolved before their eyes to reveal a more familiar figure with strawberry pink fur and a bright pink mane that poofed out into a mass of curls.

" _Pinkie Pie?"_ The other three yelped in surprise.

"Yeah, you big sillies!" Pinkie giggled "You should see your faces!"

"You were disguised as Candy Canes all along?" Rarity demanded.

"Nuh-uh! Just tonight and it was no picnic, believe me," Pinkie grimaced "That Big Cheese could use a breath mint!"

"But why?" Spike asked.

"Welllll, Discord said that if I played it all flirty flirty, it'd help with getting you guys out of the soup," Pinkie explained "And I'm so-o-o-o happy it worked!"

"Wait a minute," Spike squinted up at Discord "You planned all this?"

He gave a little bow "Actually I can't take full credit, it was really Fluttershy's idea. She's the brains behind the operation, I just provided the 'hocus pocus', as it were, and some minor scheming."

The Pegasus smiled as the three friends stared at her in astonishment.

" _You_ set Big Cheese up?" Applejack gasped "But how'd y'all know he'd do what ya wanted?"

"I didn't," Fluttershy said "But I thought it was worth a try to help all of you, and I felt sorry for his wife. She really loves him, I just hope he realises how lucky he is!"

"I'm sure even he can't be that stupid." Muttered Discord, then he grinned at her triumphantly "So now you know, Flitterflutter has quite a devious streak on the quiet, isn't that right my dear?"

She smiled in return "Oh no! It was a team effort really."

He felt absurdly pleased by her remark _"Yes, that's what we are – a truly unbeatable team! Surely you can see it Flitterflutter?"_

"Well whoever did what, I thank you with all my heart!" Rarity gave a little sniffle "I'm just so relieved we can put this whole horrid business behind us, it's so sweet of you." She pulled a tiny handkerchief from a hidden pocket in her dress and dabbed at her eyes.

"Ah'm plum grateful to all of yah," Applejack said sincerely.

"Yeah, you three really pulled our potatoes out of the fire!" Spike added "Now we just need to go tell Twilight and Rainbow Dash the good news." He stopped and looked around "Hey, where are those two anyway?"

"Ah can't see 'em," Applejack craned her neck, then she nudged Discord "Y'all are a regular beanpole – can't ya scope 'em out for us?"

The Draconequus pulled out a pair of long lens binoculars and scanned the room "Negative," He gave a little smirk "Perhaps she's gone off in pursuit of Mr Dreamy."

"Who in tarnation's that?"

"Oopsie, naughty Discord!" He smacked himself on the lion paw "Ignore me, loose lips sink ships and all that."

Applejack shot him a bemused look "Well, whaddaya say we go track 'em down? Ah just know Twi and Rainbow'll be real relieved to hear about this."

As they started working their way through the room Rarity frowned "Just one thing that puzzles me darling," She said to Fluttershy "What was Cream Cheese talking about?"

"What do you mean?"

"When she said you worked fast," The unicorn frowned "Work fast at what?

The Pegasus coloured, whilst her hoof went automatically to touch the gauzy scarf at her throat "Oh, er… nothing Rarity, it's just a little misunderstanding."

In her peripheral vision she could see Discord look over at her "You know," He said innocently "Maybe we'd find the others more quickly if we split up?"

* * *

Wednesday 10.15pm – The Equestria Summit Soiree, Las Pegasus Equine

Twilight was deep in conversation with the Ambassador of Saddle Arabia when the crowd parted. She looked over and caught sight of Jet Stream and some of the Wingers players standing only a few feet away. She was horrified to see Rainbow Dash standing with them, laughing raucously.

" _Oh no! What is she saying to them?"_

"Please excuse me, your Excellency," She said apologetically to the Ambassador as she darted away and hurried over to them, trying frantically to attract Rainbow's attention without Jet Stream and the others seeing her.

Unfortunately the blue Pegasus misinterpreted her signal completely "Oh Twilight," She called "Get over here!"

With a face like thunder, the purple Alicorn stalked over and grabbed her friend by the hoof, trying to drag her away "Hey!" Dash protested "What gives?"

"Rainbow I don't want to have anything more to do with those ponies, especially not Jet Str– "

"Well hello there," A male voice said right behind her.

Twilight turned, filled with dread, to see Jet Stream standing there.

"Hi," She said weakly, wishing the floor could open beneath her and swallow her up "Good to… um… see you again?"

"Good to see you too babe," Jet Stream nudged the Pegasus next to him, a purple stallion with unusually protruding teeth "Hey Tail Spin, it's the Princess of _Friendship!"_

His teammate gave him a knowing grin "Oh yeah, you sure are the most _'friendly'_ of all the Princesses!" They hoof bumped each other.

Twilight stared at them both, scarlet with rage and embarrassment.

"Twi you've been missing out on the best time," Dash told her, seemingly oblivious to her friend's discomfort "Jet Stream was just about to tell me how those flamingos got into the bathtub – what a riot!"

"Hey Rainbows!" One of the stallions called "Get over here and tell Hot Shot about how you did the first ever Sonic Rainboom!"

"Oh yeah," The blue Pegasus laughed "That's a classic," Twilight watched in dismay as her friend pushed back towards the rest of the hockey players.

There was a very awkward silence.

"So…." She said finally "Those flamingos, pretty crazy huh?"

"Yeah, I've been telling the guys - I never knew Princesses could party like that!" The Wingers Captain leered.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, displeasure radiating off her "And what else have you been telling them?"

"Oh chillax, you're not still sticking with that Prissy Princess routine are you?"

"I'm not prissy, I just don't think it's very cool to go round being a big blabbermouth!"

"Whoo, simmer down!"

Twilight narrowed her eyes "What else have you been saying?"

"Nothing else. _Yet._ "

"And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?" The Alicorn demanded angrily.

"Babe that all depends,"

"On what?!"

"On how generous you're gonna be to me, I don't make _that_ much playing Air Hockey, and I'd like to retire someday."

"You can't really expect me to – "

"Come on, don't be a tightwad! You must have plenty of cash lying around, you're a Princess after all! About a hundred thousand bits should cover it."

She stared at him in frank astonishment "But I don't have that kind of money!"

"You know where I am Princess, you already got my room number." He winked at her and trotted back to his friends, leaving her standing there with tears trembling in her eyes.

* * *

Wednesday, 10.43pm – The Las Pegasus Equine

Fluttershy sighed as she stepped out onto the balcony.

It was a beautiful starry night, a warm breeze blowing from the desert. In the courtyard underneath her, an obscenely huge swimming pool glowed blue, illuminated by floodlights. It was empty save for a few drifting, inflatable sun loungers but she could see clusters of summit guests standing around it.

"I don't think Rainbow and Twilight are here Discord," She said, turning to look at him.

"Of course they aren't FlitterFlutter!" He closed the glass doors behind them, shutting out the noise from the party "I made sure of that before I brought you out here."

She giggled, amused despite herself "So suggesting we split up was just a ruse to get me alone?"

"You know me and my ruses far too well, my dear."

She smiled as they walked to the other end of the balcony, away from the doors "Well, now that we're alone, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Discord opened his mouth then he hesitated, ears flattened against his head. Suddenly all his wits and confidence had deserted him. Now, in the cold light of sobriety, he felt unsure of himself.

" _What if honesty isn't the best policy?"_ He thought _"She still didn't tell the others we got married, even after we saved their tails. Maybe she regrets it! She didn't even see my drunken confession, so she still doesn't know how I feel… but Twilight saw and look at her reaction! What if Fluttershy thinks the same?"_

Spike's words from the night before came back to haunt him _"What if she rejects me? What if it ruins our friendship?"_

She raised her eyebrows quizzically; oblivious to the terror coursing through his veins _"How can I be struck dumb in the presence of this mere mortal? This mere… entrancing, bewitching mortal…."_

Staring into those beautiful turquoise eyes he felt paralysed, stranded as pink clouds rolled in like a sea fret _"No, no, she said it herself; no matter what we see she won't hate me … but what if she does?"_

He was afraid to tell her the truth, but how could he stay quiet?

" _What if it ruins our friendship?"_

Then, suddenly, the solution came to him. He breathed on his lion paw and a golden bubble appeared, floating gently above his palm.

Fluttershy looked at it, then back at him "Is that another time sphere?"

"Yes," He told her "Now my magic is back I can control them – mostly."

She leaned forward for a closer look. Patterns shimmered across its translucent surface, like clouds drifting across the face of a planet.

"What will we see?" She asked "Will it show what made us get married?"

"Yes."

"Do you know the reason already?"

He shook his head "Only that this sphere contains the answer."

She took a deep breath "I'm ready," She said "Show me."

"No."

She looked up at him in surprise "What do you mean 'no'?!"

It was clear he wasn't teasing. For once the he looked absolutely serious "I mean I can't do it for you, it has to be your choice."

"But why?

"Fluttershy," He sighed "Has it occurred to you, you might be better off _not knowing?_ "

"I don't understand," She said, bewildered "I thought you wanted to find out just as much as me!"

"I did… **I do** … but what if … it's a moment that should stay lost?"

She was appalled "How can you _say_ that?"

"Because then you can walk away. I'm offering you the chance to do that; then our friendship will be just as it was."

"What do I have to do?"

"Burst the time bubble and we'll see what happened, or don't… and I can just let it float away."

 _"No."_ He started in surprise as she grabbed the wrist of his lion paw "I missed our wedding the first time around," She said "I'm not going to miss it again!"

She touched the bubble and golden light washed over them, like sunshine.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note: So this is it, we (and Fluttershy and Discord) finally get to find out why they got married. Enjoy!**

 **Song lyrics written by Leo Robin and Jule Styne, slightly altered by me.**

* * *

Tuesday, 11.40pm – The Pony Club

After Discord disappeared from the table – leaving Spike talking to an empty seat – he found himself in a room that was shrouded in blue mood lighting. Ponies sat round tables; there was the clink of glasses; an empty stage waiting for a spotlight. He was in the club downstairs from the bar.

He'd intended to go straight to Fluttershy but for a few seconds he couldn't see her. He thought maybe his magic had somehow malfunctioned until he spotted her, threading her way in between the tables. He appeared next to her, tapping her on the shoulder and making her start in surprise. Then she laughed with relief "Discord! Thank goodness I ran into you, I've been looking for Twilight and the others but I can't find them anywhere."

She seemed giddy, he assumed it was from the cocktails. In point of fact; he wasn't exactly sober "You seem a trifle … tired Flutters," He said "Perhaps we should sit down?" He snapped his talons and instantly they vanished and reappeared at one of the ringside tables, near the stage. Absent-mindedly, he snapped again and two more drinks appeared in front of them.

"But what about Spike and the girls?" She said, her eyes wide with concern.

"Don't worry my dear," He reassured her hastily "They're fine, but I fear they have deserted us for some sports party."

"Oh goodness, really?"

"Well some of them. Rarity, Applejack and Spike are still upstairs – oh but Flitterflutter please let's stay here, I want to talk to you." He took a gulp of his drink, noting with interest that his vision seemed to be blurring slightly.

"But… you know you can talk to me whenever you want." She gave him a tipsy smile.

"Oh yes, yes, yes! But I meant _alone,_ without all those other ponies horning in! I know it's wrong of me to get jealous and I'm sorry but – "

Her lashes fluttered downwards and now she took a sip of her drink "Discord, you don't have to apologise, I get jealous too."

"Yes I do I – " He paused as his ears finally caught up with his brain, causing him to splutter in disbelief " _You_ get jealous?! Of what?"

"Of _you!_ That's what I was trying to tell you earlier," She was inching closer to him "It's just that ever since you came to help save us from the Changelings… I'm happy many more ponies want to be your friend but… oh this is so awful…" She took an even bigger gulp of her cocktail, now so close that she was pressed against his side, her hoof resting lightly on his dragon leg.

"Yes?" He leaned forward, on tenterhooks "What's awful?"

" _I'm_ awful!" She wailed "I don't like it! I'm scared you'll meet somepony more confident and interesting and exciting than me and then I won't see you anymore!"

The Draconequus frowned "But that's what I'm _trying_ to tell you – "

He was cut off as the lights dipped low and an announcer's voice boomed "Welcome to the Ziegfield Fillies here at the Pony Club! Please put your hooves together for the gorgeous; the graceful; the glorious – _Glamour!"_

Discord was so fixated on their conversation that he didn't even look round, but Fluttershy's head snapped towards the stage as a seductive voice purred the opening bars of a song.

" _Some_ _colts_ _are glad to die for love, they delight in fighting duels,"_

A pale blue spotlight swung into place on the black velvet curtains onstage. From between them a bright, white leg emerged, glittering.

" _But I prefer a male who lives and gi-i-ives expensive jewels!"_

The curtains parted to reveal Glamour. She was clad in a slinky floor-length dress that seemed to be covered entirely with gemstones and long sparkling gloves on her forelegs. Her red hair showed up like fire under the spotlights as she sang.

" _A kiss on the hoof can be quite sentimental but diamonds are a mare's best friend,"_

As the showpony glittered across the stage, she used her magic to slip off one of her glistening gloves and threw it into the audience, hitting one lucky stallion in the face.

" _A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat, or help you feed your pussycat,"_

Homing in on their table like a guided missile, her contemptuous gaze came to rest on Fluttershy whilst she sang: _"Males grow cold as mares grow old and we all lose our charms in the end,"_

"Fluttershy?" Discord tried to attract her attention, but the Pegasus was busy staring daggers at Glamour as the singer stripped off another sparkling glove and tossed it right into Discord's lap, making him turn in surprise.

" _But square cut or pear shaped, these rocks don't lose their shape – diamonds are a mare's best friend!"_

The Draconequus scowled in irritation as Glamour gave him a lascivious wink and a little shimmy, also obviously for his benefit. Then the tempo of the song kicked up a notch and the dancers whipped off Glamour's long skirt, leaving her in only a rather brief sparkling white costume, trimmed with long white feathers at her shoulders and tail and some in her mane.

Fluttershy's watched despondently, shrinking into her seat as the showpony whirled through a breathless dance routine. Glamour's beaming smile never wavered as she was thrown in the air and whirled around in a flurry of snow-white sparkles.

"You see?" She said sadly, now gone over to the melancholy side of drunk "How can I compete with somepony like her?"

"But that's what I'm saying!" Discord growled in frustration over the music "For me there is no competition because – "

She interrupted him, which was not like her "You're right! I'm no competition! She's just… so stunning and so confident and I'm just so…so _mousy_!"

"You are _not_ mousy!"

"Yes I am!" She said angrily "I couldn't even go out in public wearing what she's wearing, much less stand onstage and sing!"

"But you have a beautiful voice, much sweeter than hers. And you're ten times the pony she is!" Discord gripped her hooves, forcing her to turn and look at him "You're kind, you're brave and you are heartbreakingly lovely whatever you're wearing!"

Her face softened "You really think so?"

"Of course I do! You'd look infinitely more gorgeous in that outfit than she does,"

"Oh I don't think I could ever wear that – " She began.

"Here I'll show you!" He snapped his talons, swept away on a tide of drunken sincerity, and in a flash of light she was dressed in an exact replica of Glamour's stage costume. There was a little ripple of surprise at the tables around them.

"Discord!" Fluttershy stared down at herself in shock.

"You see?" He said "I was right, infinitely more gorgeous. And I know infinity when I see it!"

"How could you?" She snapped at him.

"Oh… don't you like it?"

"You are _impossible_!"

"Well… er… yes?!"

She pulled herself away from him. Onstage the song was reaching its crescendo.

"Fluttershy, wait! I can change it back – " He jumped up to go after her and found that standing up suddenly made him feel very dizzy. Just then Glamour twirled across the stage, arriving at their table as her song ended.

"Well hello _my Lord_ ," She said breathlessly, sitting down right in his lap, forcing him into his seat again " _So_ kind of you to come see my show after all!"

"I'm otherwise engaged right now," Discord scrambled backwards, trying to disentangle himself so he could go after Fluttershy.

"Don't be scared of little old me, I won't bite… unless you want me to!" She murmured, trying to slide her forelegs around his neck "You can stay and have one little drink can't you?"

"Well actually no I – "

"Excuse me!" Both Glamour and Discord turned to see an enraged Fluttershy standing there "I think he's had enough to drink!" She growled.

The showpony raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her identical outfit "Well, they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!" She snorted.

Fluttershy's normally tranquil face was pink with anger "Discord's with me!" She spat.

The Draconequus pressed his talons together and broke into a huge grin, practically wagging his tail with joy " _I am?"_

"Yes!" The Pegasus took a step forward "So you take your hooves off him!"

Glamour tossed her head dismissively "Why don't you take a hike sweetheart? We're busy!"

At that moment Fluttershy lunged forward, grabbing the unicorn and dragging her bodily off Discord's lap. Glamour turned and shoved her hard "Don't you touch me, Little Miss Ponyville!"

The moment the Unicorn laid hooves on the his best friend, Discord's eyes flamed red, but the alcohol had slowed his reactions down whereas it seemed to have had the opposite effect on Fluttershy. Before he could so much as raise a talon, the maddened Pegasus launched herself at Glamour with unnatural speed. He watched in astonishment as the usually mild-mannered Element of Kindness shoved her rival back with equal force. The showpony lashed out with her hooves at Fluttershy's face but the Pegasus dodged and snatched up a cocktail glass, throwing the contents all over the unicorn mare. As Glamour stared in horror at the orange and red liquid dripping down the front of her white costume, Fluttershy socked her in the jaw, knocking her backwards into a passing waiter.

She would have flown at the showpony again if Discord hadn't seized her, wrapping his arms round her waist "Woah, woah; Raging Bull! That's enough!" He held her tight as she struggled.

"Let me go Discord!" She yelled _"Let me at her!"_

"My dear, please be calm! Breathe, count to ten or something!" Glancing around, he could see some very upset looking customers and staff. He briefly considered turning them all into hamsters but realised just in time that Fluttershy would probably not approve of that when she sobered up.

" _Let's just get out of here!"_ He thought and snapped his fingers.

All at once they were outside on the Las Pegasus strip some distance from the club, standing underneath a huge glowing neon sign showing the four aces. He was still holding onto Fluttershy. After a moment she stopped fighting.

"Oh!" She cried "I've never been so… so …"

"Fluttershy!" Discord pleaded "Darling! You know that mare is nothing to me, don't you?"

She was trembling with fury "I just couldn't stand to see her all over you like that! It just made me so… so… _**so**_ _ **angry**_ _!"_

"But it's not _her_ I love, it's _you_!"

"I just _–_ what?" She stuttered to a halt and stared at him " _What did you say?_ "

"I love you!" He said "It's taken me a long time to realise it but I do! When I went into that Changeling Hive I was only thinking about getting _you_ back! I'm sorry about the costume but I was only thinking about how beautiful _you_ would be in it! Oh Fluttershy; you're the most amazing, the kindest, the sweetest and the most wonderful creature I've ever known; I may be a God, but I worship you! I adore you! I love you to distraction – "

"Discord?"

"Yes?"

 _"Stop talking!"_ She threw her forelegs around his neck, shutting him up as she pressed her lips against his.

He froze in surprise for a moment. Then his eyes closed and he squeezed her tightly against him as he kissed her back, both of them swaying slightly with the effects of the alcohol.

There was a sizzling noise overhead as the huge, neon playing-card sign glowed white hot with a sudden surge of magic. It burned painfully bright for a moment and then shorted out in a cascade of sparks, leaving only the red beacon of the Ace of Hearts still burning. Glittering, golden particles poured down over them and over all the other ponies on the sidewalk.

At the same moment there were several other minor magical explosions above them that resulted in an unexpected flock of doves and a shower of rose petals.

Fluttershy pulled away with a little sigh "Is it raining?"

"Hmmm, oh, is it? I hadn't noticed." He said dreamily "You're beautiful when you're angry."

"I'm not angry now," She smiled up at him "But … when I saw you with Glamour, I realised I can't share you with anypony else… because I love you too." She hiccupped, then winced "Do you think I'm a terrible hypocrite?"

"I think you're the most enchanting hypocrite who ever existed."

She kissed him again.

"Sheesh, get a room you guys!" Yelled a passing pony.

Discord didn't break off (though he did snap his tail feathers and further down the street the floor turned to soap underneath the offending stallion, tipping him face first into an inexplicable cream pie.)

When they both finally came up for air he raised an eyebrow diabolically and the hotel room key appeared in his paw "Lucky us," He said, jingling the key in front of her eyes "We already have a room."

"Discord, wait! Wait!" She cried as he raised his eagle claw, talons poised to take them back to the hotel "How do I know this is real, that it isn't just the alcohol talking?"

"Darling please!" He looked panic stricken "How can you even think that? Didn't I just tell you how absolutely I love and revere you? Because if you need me to tell you again, I will!"

"But in the morning, when you sober up, you might change your mind."

"Never!" He said with inebriated certainty "I love you and I'm going to spend the rest of eternity with you if it kills me!"

She glanced around and then spotted something across the street. He followed her gaze to a small, white building which bore the neon legend "The Hitchin' Post: Las Pegasus Wedding Packages"

When she turned back to him, her pupils were enormous "Prove it!"

"You mean it?" He stared at her in astonishment "You want to get _married_?"

"Oh Discord, yes!"

" _To me?!"_

"Yes! _Yes!_ You really want to?"

"Just try and stop me!" As he realised she was serious, he broke into an enormous grin, fizzing with barely contained glee "Oh Flitterflutter, I'd do anything for you, anything you want!" He paused, looking down at his talons "Do you want a big flouncy, meringue-y dress? Because I can always – "  
She looked down at the white showpony costume and gave him a boozy smile "We're in Las Pegasus, this is perfect."

" _You're_ perfect!"

He went to kiss her again but she seized him by the arm "Discord, why are we still standing here? Come on!" And she dragged him across the road, heedless of the blaring horns of the traffic.

* * *

Wednesday, 10.55pm – The Las Pegasus Equine

Fluttershy opened her eyes to see the Draconequus's eyelids flickering rapidly, his snout only a few inches away.

She felt like she had been walking around in a daydream until now.

"It was _my_ idea!" She said in a shell-shocked whisper "I asked you to marry me because I… because… I…"

Their lips were no more than a breath apart when the door to the balcony suddenly burst open and Fluttershy leapt backwards out of his arms in alarm. As she did so Applejack and Rarity came trotting through the double doors.

"Fluttershy? Discord? Are y'all out here?"

She stood frozen for a moment, then giving him a look of mute apology, she stepped out of the shadows "I'm right here girls."

"Am Ah goshdarned glad to see you," Applejack said.

"You must come with us, quickly darling!" Rarity added.

"Oh my goodness, what is it?" The Pegasus gasped, seeing her friends' distress "Are the police here? I thought we'd managed to fix everything."

"It's not them," Rarity said "It's Twilight, she's very upset!"

"Oh poor Twilight!" Discord said sarcastically, emerging from the darkness. He was at the upper limit of his patience _"This is turning into some sort of sick, cosmic joke – and usually I love sick, cosmic jokes!"_

"Twilight?" Fluttershy's face fell "Why…. whatever's the matter?"

"That low-down dirty varmint's been threatening her," Applejack said angrily.

"The scoundrel!" Rarity cried.

Fluttershy was dismayed, maybe Twilight had betrayed their confidence after all "Now girls," She said "Before you jump to any conclusions – "

Rarity cut her off "I mean it's just the most appalling behaviour, to take advantage of a girl like that!"

"Taking advantage?!" Discord uncoiled at this, raising a talon in her direction "Now wait just a minute – "

Applejack ignored him, too outraged to listen "And now he's demandin' a ton o' cash he's going to start running his mouth off all over town!"

Fluttershy and Discord looked at each other, mystified. "Er… I beg your pardon?" She said.

"Spreading his filthy gossip!" Rarity spat disdainfully "Has the brute never heard that it's the height of bad taste to kiss and tell?"

"I'm sorry you've lost me," The Draconequus scratched his head "What are you talking about?"

" _Jet Stream_ of course!" The unicorn tossed her mane in frustration.

"You mean… Jock-Strap?"

"Yeah, him." Applejack said darkly "He's sayin' if Twilight don't cough up a hundred thousand bits he's gonna start talkin' all over Equestria 'bout last night!"

"Yes darling, that's why we came to find you right away!" Rarity said.

"Oh how awful, poor Twilight!" Fluttershy was immediately filled with genuine concern for her friend.

Discord was less so. After all, the Princess had very recently accused him of doing much the same thing to Fluttershy and he was still angry with her.

"What's that got to do with me?" He said sullenly.

"Well after ya helped us pull the old switcheroo on Big Cheese and get us out of a fix we thought – "

"Oh, you thought you'd just come trotting out here and get reliable old me to perform magic on demand like a trained circus animal to make it all better?" Trilled the Draconequus, transforming into a toy poodle with a ruffled collar. Then he snapped back to his normal shape, glaring at them "Well I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood for doing tricks!"

"But… but … what about Twilight?" The Unicorn stammered.

"What about her?" He growled.

"But darling, I thought you were friends?"

"Don't 'darling' me _darling_ ," He snapped and Rarity drew back at the venom in his tone "I know just how big a friend of mine the Princess really is!"

"Discord! Whatever can you mean?" She demanded.

"Girls?" Fluttershy spoke up "I think it's probably best if I deal with this."

"But Fluttershy, ya can't – "

"Don't worry," Said the Pegasus "You just go and tell Twilight I'll be there in a minute."

"But – "

"Go on," Fluttershy urged them.

Discord watched her as they retreated, muttering and throwing puzzled glances over their shoulders.

After they'd gone, he scowled "Just give me one good reason why I should lift a claw to help her, after what she said!" She continued to look at him and he folded his arms mutinously "I suppose you're going to try and change my mind?"

"No." She said.

"Well you can forget it because I _–_ what do you mean 'no'?!"

"Discord, I'm not going to try and change your mind," She said patiently "Whatever there is between us, I have to go and help Twilight. What you do is up to you. Just like she can't interfere between us, I don't want to interfere between you two."

He scowled "But if I don't help her you'll never forgive me, will you?"

"I didn't say that." She looked down "But I have to at least try to help."

"Stop! Wait!" He said as she turned to go _"You can't just leave me like this!"_

"I can't just desert her." She looked worried "Promise you'll wait for me to come back and not do anything rash?"

"Fluttershy?" He called and she turned, her hoof on the handle of the glass door "If this stallion makes Twilight miserable you'll be miserable too… won't you?"

She sighed "Discord, I can't pretend it would make me happy."

And with that she was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

Wednesday, 11.25pm – All-Equestria Summit Soiree, Las Pegasus Equine

Fluttershy followed Rarity and Applejack through the crowds of summit guests. She was dimly aware of them but it was hard to focus on anything that was going on around her.

She knew she was partly using Twilight's troubles as an excuse to give herself some breathing space, fearful of being swept away on a tide of events that was rushing along much too fast. Her thoughts whirled like a cyclone as scenes from the previous evening replayed themselves in her head.

 _"I thought Discord was my best friend … but it seems like I was wrong. Or… no…not wrong exactly; he **is** my best friend but he says he's in love with me – do I dare let myself believe it? And even if I do believe it, even if he is in love with me, he's at war with Twilight!" _Her brow crinkled in a worried frown _"Oh, I'm in deep trouble… because when he said he loved me, I realised that I… I…"_

They found their way to a little side room and she saw Twilight sitting at a vanity table with her back to them. Fluttershy could see in the mirror the were black smudges under her eyes where she had been crying. Immediately overcome with sympathy, she trotted over to embrace her friend.

"Are you ok?" She asked. The Alicorn shook her head tearfully and Fluttershy felt terrible "Oh Twilight, I'm sorry!"

"Don't be silly," The Princess sniffed and rubbed her eyes on the back of her hoof "I've only got myself to blame for this mess!"

"It ain't your fault sugarcube!" Applejack said.

"No of course not!" Rarity tossed her mane angrily "It's that brutish loud-mouth who's really to blame here!"

"I don't get why you won't just let me pound 'im!" Snarled Rainbow Dash, smacking her hooves together.

"It's completely out of the question Rainbow," Twilight said flatly "I'm here as an official representative of Princess Celestia. I can't have my entourage getting into fights."

"What about _them_?" Dash cried pointing at Spike, Rarity and Applejack who all coughed and looked at the floor.

"Getting into **any** **more** fights," Twilight corrected herself "Besides, it's one thing getting into a fight in some bar – can you imagine if we start a ruckus right here at the summit soiree? We could cause a diplomatic incident!"

"Twilight, I don't understand why you don't just give him the money." Said Spike.

The Princess rounded on him "Because I don't have it! And I can't just go round helping myself to the royal treasury without any explanation – it would be wrong, in fact it would be _stealing!_ "

The Dragon frowned "But I'm sure if you asked, Princess Celestia would just give you the money?"

"Spike, I can't tell Celestia about this!" Twilight buried her head in her hooves "Whatever would she think of me?"

"Hey, why don't you just ask Discord?" Pinkie asked "He could magic up the money easily, and he already knows about Jet Stream anyway, so you don't need to worry about telling him!"

"I'm not sure Discord's in the mood to help me," The Princess sniffled, "We kinda… had a fight earlier."

"A fight?!" Exclaimed Spike.

"What about?!" Asked Pinkie and Dash together.

Twilight carefully avoiding looking at Fluttershy "I… I'd rather not say."

"Sugar," Applejack turned towards the Pegasus "Ah don't suppose you had any luck convincin' that sulky sidewinder to come n' help us out?"

"Um no… not yet…" Fluttershy bit her lip as Twilight shot her an inquiring look "Discord and I… well we… uh… we had a little… disagreement too."

"Was it about me?" Twilight asked in a small voice.

The Pegasus twisted uncomfortably under her gaze, not wanting to make her friend any more upset than she already was, but Twilight could guess from her expression what had sparked the rift with the Draconequus.

"Oh … I'm sorry Fluttershy, I really didn't mean to…" She tailed off, obviously unwilling to say any more in front of the others.

Fluttershy felt pathetically grateful _"I can't let this thing with Discord get in the way of my being there for Twilight,"_ She thought determinedly _"She's my friend too and she needs me!"_

"Well if neither the Princess or Discord can help you, then it's up to us," Said Spike "And I think _I_ might have the answer!"

The six mares exchanged puzzled glances as he pulled out a slim book, a huge smile on his face.

Twilight peered at the title "How to Win At Blackjack?"

"I found it in my hotel room earlier when I went upstairs for a nap," He explained "I couldn't sleep so I spent the afternoon reading in case we decided to go back to the casino. Twilight, using this, we could _win_ the money for you! How much cash do you girls have?"

A trawl of pockets and purses produced a grand total of four-hundred and seventy bits.

"That's more than enough!" The Dragon enthused.

Twilight sighed "I dunno Spike, it sounds kinda…" She struggled to find a word that wouldn't hurt his feelings.

"Try 'kinda crazy'!?" Applejack finished for her "Spike, last time we walked into a casino, ya took a pastin'! Ya really think a _book_ can help ya win?"

"There's really nothing to it AJ," He said, not at all discouraged "It's just a numbers game, once you know the secrets it should be easy!"

"Yeah, I was just talking to the bartender and there's a casino downstairs," Added Pinkie "So we don't even have to leave the hotel. C'mon Twilight, it's gotta be worth a shot!"

Dubious as Twilight felt, she had to admit she couldn't think of a better idea "OK Spike," She sighed "I guess it couldn't hurt to give it a try, just promise me you'll walk away if we lose too much money..."

As they trotted down the stairs towards the casino, Rainbow Dash nudged her fellow Pegasus in the ribs "So, where is the big baby?" She said scornfully "Did he have a tantrum and storm off?"

Fluttershy mumbled something non-committal but inside she felt a little stab of worry _"That would be like him,"_ She thought _"To just disappear. After all I did sort of reject him, but I didn't mean to! I just had to come and see if Twilight was alright! What if he_ _ **has**_ _left without me? Oh, but he promised he wouldn't! Or worse, what if he's met somepony else?"_

The rage she had felt seeing Glamour snuggling up to him came flooding back and she tossed her head, trying to shake off a wave of jealousy so intense it made her feel sick. Then she pulled herself together _"No,_ _I have to be there for my friends. If Discord really cared about me, he'd understand!"_

* * *

Wednesday, 11.45pm – Las Pegasus Equine

Discord stood on the balcony, seething with frustration.

His teeth ground together with a noise like a steel file and his talons clenched on the balustrade, gouging into the stonework.

"I can't believe she left like that – curse those infernal, interfering busybodies! Curse everypony else! We were this close – **THIS CLOSE**!"He howled at the starry Las Pegasus sky.

Instantly, he was wreathed in bright orange fire; the water in the swimming pool below him transformed into cola and all the inflatable sun loungers turned into giant sherbet lozenges. Ponies in the courtyard screamed and ran for cover as the pool fizzed and frothed violently with dissolving sherbet.

Right on cue, Wrathful Discord appeared on the balcony next to him in a flash of flame _"The Spirit of Chaos is a vengeful and jealous god!"_ The other him snarled _"We should pursue the Pegasus now, destroy those interlopers and take her back again; she is ours and ours alone!"_

" _Hmmm, zis is somesink ve should talk about,"_ A softly spoken version of himself wearing spectacles and a cardigan and smoking a pipe appeared beside Wrathful Discord in a puff of smoke.

" _You zeem to haff issues mit jealousy and posseziff behaviour, not to mention zer God Complex."_ Cardigan-wearing Discord said in a strange accent, taking out a notebook and licking the tip of a pencil _"It may be due to zome childhood trauma. I am alzo sensing a lot of rage - haff you conzidered a course of anger management?"_

" _My anger is rightful and just,"_ Wrathful Discord growled _"The Alicorn is our enemy, she accused us of terrible crimes against the Pegasus!"_

" _But zis Prinzess, she has shown vorgiffnezz to you in zer past, jah?"_

His dark self was momentarily puzzled _"Vor-giff-nezz?"_

" _Jah voll! She vorgave your mishtake und rescued you, even after you betrayed her. Perhaps zer Prinzess has also made a mishtake,"_ Therapist Discord prompted _"Perhaps she needs your vorgiffnezz?"_

" _Do you take me for a foal?"_ Wrathful Discord's burning eyes narrowed _"The Princess of Friendship does not deserve our **forgiveness**! She tried to take the Pegasus away from us!"_

" _Und how did zat make you feel?"_ Asked thepsychiatrist Discord, writing meticulously in his notebook.

"Hey, why aren't you asking me?" The original Discord pushed Wrathful Discord to one side, feeling extremely put out at being ignored by not one, but two alternate selves "It's **my** feelings we ought to be discussing not his; you're just parts of my psyche anyway!"

He sighed in irritation as Wrathful Discord shoved past him and grabbed Therapist Discord by the throat _"Be silent puny insect! Do not presume to question our will!"_ He thundered _"We will inflict our vengeance upon the Alicorn! The Pegasus belongs to us!"_

"Oh, do change the record, will you?" The original Discord flourished a razor sharp talon and punctured Wrathful Discord's tail, causing him to fly off into the sky like a deflating balloon, whizzing round and round in circles until he disappeared with a vanishing scream.

" _Oh zank gootness for zat,"_ His Therapist-self calmly brushed an imaginary speck of lint off his cardigan and turned towards the original Discord _"Now ve can start to address zer real problem here; your deep-rooted inzecurity issues und fear of abandonment. Tell me, vere you ever in love vith your rocking horse as a child?"_

"And you can get lost too!" The Draconequus snapped his fingers and immediately Therapist Discord was tied to a giant rocket with a fizzing fuse.

" _Fine, I go!"_ Said his other self _"But at least you should think about how your egozentric behaviour vill make Fluttershy fe-e-e-e-e-e-el!"_

His last words were shrieked at high volume because the rocket shot into the darkness, taking him with it.

Discord watched him go. Then he stood staring up at the stars for a while, thinking.

Finally, his shoulders slumped in defeat "It's no good. The nerdy me in the dreadful cardigan is right; I can't let something happen if I know it will make you unhappy, Fluttershy. And I _suppose_ I can't just let Jock Strap treat Twilight this way either… so I guess I'm just going to have to take matters into my own talons." He tapped them together "Hmmm, what to do… what to do…"

* * *

Thursday, 12.30 am – The Las Pegasus Equine Casino

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Rainbow hissed to Rarity "But I think it's actually working!"

"Shhh Rainbow," The Unicorn whispered back "You're going to give the game away!" And she gave the croupier a winning smile "I'd like to place a bet please," She said loudly, fluttering her lashes at him "I do believe I'm feeling lucky!"

They were sitting around one of the gaming tables in the hotel casino, arranged in little groups, so as not to look suspicious;

Rarity, Rainbow and Fluttershy were sat together and Pinkie was sitting with Spike.

At her friend's suggestion, Twilight had gone for a little walk with Applejack as the others were worried the tension of the game would be too much for her. Also, as Rainbow had pointed out, having the Element of Honesty sitting next to you wasn't exactly a bonus when you were trying to play cards.

Fluttershy wasn't sure what the Blackjack book had taught Spike in the space of one afternoon, but whatever it was had totally changed his game. He never seemed to lose. She and Rainbow and Rarity had been placing modest bets just to take the attention off the little Dragon, but every time he put money down, he won. Already he had a big stack of chips in front of him. She'd tried totting up the value of the pile in her head and she was certain that he had to have won at least sixty thousand bits already.

She also couldn't help noticing how closely the dealer pony was watching him. She and the other girls were trying their best to distract the stallion by chatting loudly and flirting with him (except for Rainbow Dash – who was making ever more ridiculous claims about her own skills as a gambler) but she had seen how his eyes rarely left the Dragon's claws.

Once or twice, she had also intercepted little glances between the croupier and another pony, whom she guessed was probably his superior. They certainly didn't seem happy about what was happening at their table.

"Rarity," She murmured "We have to _do_ something; I think the casino ponies are watching Spike!"

The Unicorn raised her eyebrows in alarm and surreptitiously glanced over to where the boss pony was standing. A grim look settled over his face as Spike won yet another thousand bits – taking his total up to seventy thousand.

"Oh goodness me!" Said Rarity, fanning herself frantically "I just don't know which cards to pick; it's so confusing! All these little pointy symbols," She slid her hoof over that of the croupier with a wink "Couldn't _you_ tell me what they mean?"

The dealer pony snatched his hoof away and tried to concentrate on his job, beads of sweat starting out on his forehead.

Just then, Pinkie Pie leaped into the air with a shriek as Spike won another hand and another two-thousand bits "Woohoo!" She screamed _"In your face Las Pegasus!"_

She and Rainbow Dash hoof bumped excitedly, completely forgetting they weren't even supposed to know each other.

There was a terrible moment as the croupier, his boss and the other ponies gambling at the table looked first at Pinkie, then at Rainbow and then as one swung round to look at Spike, who grinned nervously under their scrutiny.

Fluttershy realised she had to do something _"Discord's good at this kind of thing, what would he do in this situation?"_ She thought _"Probably just use his magic to turn them all into hamsters or something! Well, that's not going to work for me – I need to be a little more creative…"_

Giving a squeal of alarm, she threw herself deliberately backwards off her stool, falling to the floor in a dramatic flurry of frothy skirts and streaming pink hair.

" _Fluttershy!"_ Screamed Rarity, swooping to her side.

"O-o-o-oh!" Fluttershy blinked dazedly, as the Unicorn and several other ponies, including a couple of members of staff, clustered around her "What in Equestria happened?"

"You fell darling!"

"Oh yes," Fluttershy said, smiling up at the casino ponies apologetically "I'm such a nervous gambler, I just get so clumsy when I play!"

"Let me help you up Miss!" Said one of the staff ponies. He took hold of her hoof but Rarity held her in place.

"Now let's not be too hasty, darling," She said "You might have injured yourself!"

"Oh, maybe you're right Rarity," Fluttershy moaned.

"Does it hurt?"

"Oh yes, it hurts! And I do feel a little woozy."

"She looks fine to me," Said the casino pony irritably.

"Yes she _looks_ fine, but that was a terrible fall," Said the Unicorn, in tones that left no room for argument "If you move her, you might be doing irreparable damage!"

Suddenly Applejack and Twilight's faces appeared above her.

"Omigosh! Fluttershy, are you ok?"

"What in Equestria happened sugarcube?"

"Please stand back ladies," Said the casino pony "Give her some air!" Over his shoulder, she was very relieved to see that Spike and Pinkie Pie had managed to slip away during the disturbance.

At that moment, one of the hotel managers came hurrying up to Twilight, in a terrible lather "Princess!" He gasped, so agitated he didn't even acknowledge the fact that one of their party was lying on the floor "I've been looking for you everywhere! I'm so sorry to disturb you, but we need your help! Somepony has enchanted the swimming pool!"

"Oh it's really not a – **what?!** " Twilight was in the process of waving his apologies away graciously until suddenly her ears caught up with what he was saying " _What do you mean enchanted the swimming pool?"_

"The water's been transformed into a carbonated beverage and now it's bubbling up everywhere! Our guests are getting drenched in sticky soda-pop! You have to help us!" He sobbed "It's cola-carnage out there!"

Before he'd even finished speaking, Fluttershy sat bolt upright, leapt to her hooves and ran for the exit.

"Miss, wait!" The casino staff pony called after her, but she ignored him. As she disappeared up the stairs he turned to glare suspiciously at Rarity.

"Thank heavens she recovered!" The Unicorn exclaimed, then shrugged as the casino pony continued to eyeball her "Uh…haha... well… she _really_ loves cola!"


	14. Chapter 14

**It's been a bit of a hiatus, but finally got round to updating. Apologies to Jane Austen, for pinching her dialogue**

* * *

Thursday, 12.50pm – The Equestria Summit Soiree, Las Pegasus Equine

Jet Stream, captain of the Cloudsdale Wingers, was standing at the buffet table when he recognised the Princess of Friendship coming his way. To his surprise she didn't seem angry. In fact the look she was giving him was almost… hungry.

"Well hello there Captain," She purred.

"Your highness?" He said, puzzled but flattered.

She trotted up to him until she was very close, almost touching him "How nice _bumping_ into you again."

"Anytime you wanna bump into me is cool babe!"

The Alicorn gave him a smile "How about now?"

Jet Stream could hardly believe his luck, he hadn't expected the Princess of Friendship to come around so easily, or be so enthusiastic.

"Oh so you do wanna rematch huh?" He said casually "Howsabout we go up to my room?"

"I was thinking somewhere a little closer?" She said, glancing significantly in the direction of the hotel fountain garden.

"Out there?" He exclaimed "With all these other ponies around?!"

She sauntered past flipping her mane and then looked back at him provocatively over her shoulder "Unless… you're too chicken?" She pouted, batting her lashes.

With a grin on his face he followed her as she sashayed out into the garden. The rest of the city was buzzing but this hotel was big enough and ritzy enough to have a little space set aside from the hustle and bustle of the Las Pegasus night. She led him over to a gently splashing fountain and sat down on the stone bench that ran round it. There was the scent of roses in the air.

"Come here." She smiled.

He looked around, he could hear ponies talking and laughing but they were some distance away. The immediate vicinity was quite empty aside from the two of them.

Sensing his hesitation, she patted the space next to her invitingly "Don't be shy, I won't bite. Unless you want me to."

He grinned at her and sat down "Princess I know you like to party but I didn't realise you were this crazy!"

"Oh, there's _a lot_ you don't know about me, _Mr Dreamy_!" She said, as she wound her forelegs around his neck, her eyelids fluttering closed.

His eyes closed too _"So! The Princess came back for another blast of Jet Stream,"_ He thought as he kissed her _"Even royal ladies can't resist me, and she's so desperate she's dragged me out here in the garden… hey that's weird, she's a little more… toothy than I remember…"_

Suddenly there was the snap of a camera shutter.

Jet Stream's eyelids flickered open automatically and as soon as he focussed on who was in front of him he gaped in horror.

"Tail Spin?"

His purple teammate gave him a familiar buck-toothed smile, holding a camera in one hoof as he took another picture.

"Dude! What are you doing?"

"Just taking a few snaps bro," Tail Spin winked "You know, for the album, to show the guys…"

" _The guys?_ What?! But _dude!"_ The Wingers captain cried "You mean it's been _you_ all along?! But wait that doesn't make sense…" He frowned in utter confusion "You were both there at the same time… how could she be you if… if…?"

"You got me _, dude."_ Tail Spin said, in a very different voice "I suppose I'll just have to 'fess up."

Jet Stream choked back a scream as Tail Spin melted away and instead of the pretty purple eyes of the Princess or the blue ones of his fellow player, there were two glowing pools of flame staring him right in the face.

"Arrrgh!" Jet Stream jumped backwards in shock.

"What's wrong handsome?" Discord said in the Twilight's voice "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts about us?" He batted long eyelashes coquettishly at the stallion.

"Y-y-you're not Tail Spin or the Princess!" Stammered the sports pony.

"Oooh looks and brains, you really are a _catch_!" Discord reeled in a thrashing tuna fish out of thin air and slapped Jet Stream round the face with it "Actually, I'm Discord, the Lord of Chaos." He said as the Pegasus clutched his cheek and groaned "I'd say you can drop the title but we're not really on friendly terms are we? Leaving aside the tonsil hockey of course…"

"But… but… why?"

"Well now, we've proven that ego is your little weakness, so I suppose it won't hurt to tell you mine. It's sort of embarrassing really;" The Draconequus pulled an awkward face " _You_ may not be my friend but Princess Twilight _is_ – most of the time – and furthermore, she and my darling wife are very close."

"You're _married?!_ "

"Oh, yes, so don't get any ideas you naughty boy!" Discord held up a talon on which glittered his wedding ring "Anyway, unlike my beloved, the Princess has awful taste in stallions," He morphed back into Twilight for a moment and pulled a very serious expression "But she would never stoop to something grubby and unscrupulous like blackmail." He snapped back to himself and waved the photographs in his eagle claw "Whereas I, by contrast, rather enjoy it."

Jet Stream gaped "Blackmail?!"

"Oh yes! I mean, I know many ponies are getting more tolerant these days but I'm willing to bet your friends aren't amongst them, so you wouldn't want them seeing any of these, would you?" The Chaos God fanned the photos out in front of him "I think _this_ one is the cutest, you look _so_ into each other! Oh, but in this one you can really see both your faces, I mean your face and my face – or rather Tail Spin's face – anyway you get the picture." He gave a smile so evil the sports captain gulped "As will everyone else if you don't leave the Princess alone."

Jet Stream tried to hold onto some shreds of his tough guy act "You d-don't s-scare me."

"Oh, really? That is a shame! Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough…" Discord scratched his chin for a moment. Then suddenly, his eyes flamed and lightening split the sky, which turned from purple to black. He leaned towards the sports Captain, leering through a mouthful of razor teeth _"_ _ **How's**_ _ **this for scary?**_ _"_ He snarled _**"If you ever bother Twilight again, I will use you as a piñata!"**_

The Wingers Captain gave a high pitched shriek, turned tail and bolted.

Discord snickered to himself as he watched the stallion flee, tearing right through the ornamental rose bed, skidding on the path in panic.

Then he grinned and stretched, cracking his talons "I've still got it!"

* * *

Thursday, 1am – Hotel Gardens, Las Pegasus Equine

There was a light crunch of gravel and Discord gave a little high-pitched shriek and turned to find Fluttershy standing on the path behind him.

"How long have you been listening?" He asked.

"Long enough to get a pretty good idea of what you've been up to," She looked down, her long lashes veiling her eyes.

He raised his claws defensively "Before you start getting upset just let me explain – "

"I'm not upset," She said, using her hoof to move some pebbles around "Actually I wanted to thank you… for what you've done for Twilight. If she only knew, I'm sure she'd want to thank you too."

Discord felt a little guilty, he'd been psyching himself up to for some big self- justification and instead she was grateful? "Don't thank me," He said "Or if you must, only thank me for yourself, not for Twilight. Much as I respect her, I believe I was only thinking about you."

They stared at one another for a few beats as if held in place by a magic spell, each hesitant to make the first move.

"Fluttershy," He breathed "You know this won't make sense to anypony else."

"Perhaps not," She said "But I don't make sense without you anymore…. because I love you."

Then, at the same instant they lunged towards each other. The moment their lips met, the water in the fountain transformed into champagne; jets of foaming, alcoholic bubbles pouring upwards into the night sky.

"My delicate little chaos butterfly!"

"My big, handsome, unstoppable force of nature!"

"I'm so happy you feel the same!"

"Me too!"

"Say you'll stay married to me?"

"Of course I will! I don't ever want to be apart again!"

"Oh me neither! Now we can rule all Equestria together, once we've overthrown Celestia that is – "

 _"Discord!"_

He grinned "Just kidding! Only about the ruling Equestria thing though, the rest I meant." He clarified hastily "Then something else occurred to him "Altho-o-o-ough, you are still Lady Chaos. Think you can live with that?"

"I guess I'll have to," She sighed "I suppose it's not _so_ bad."

"I mean, I admit it's not a title that'll help you get tables at exclusive restaurants or anything like that," He shrugged "But then you don't need to worry about that 'cos you've got me!"

"I do have one question though," Fluttershy began and he looked at her inquiringly "Jet Stream: did you _have_ to kiss him?"

"Now darling," He soothed "Before you get crazy jealous and attack somepony. I only did it for you, Mr Dreamy is a _really_ sloppy kisser!"

She gave him a mischievous smile "You mean you don't enjoy it at all, playing tricks on ponies?"

"Even if I did, I'd be too scared to admit it now Sluggershy!" A giant pair of spectacles appeared on the end of his nose "You wouldn't hit a Draconequus in glasses would you?"

She laughed, a little shamefaced "I didn't behave very well last night, did I?"

"My love you were a delightful drunk for around ninety-nine percent of the evening, but once the green eyed monster took hold, you were truly terrifying!"

"Oh dear, I'm sorry!"

"No apology necessary, my sweet. To be perfectly honest," He tightened his hold on her and purred "I rather liked you in berserker mode, it was… stimulating. What do you say we ditch this dreary excuse for a party and get out of here?"

"But what about Twilight and Spike and the girls?"

"Fluttershy? Discord?" As if on cue they heard the voices of their friends not far away.

He growled, hackles rising "What do they want _now_?!"

She stifled a smile "I think it might be to do with you turning the swimming pool into cola."

"Ah yes," He chuckled "I had forgotten, guess I should clean that up!" He snapped his talons "Just a little unintended, magical side effect."

"Unintended? Really?"

"I swear!" He pulled his 'virtuous' expression and she giggled, then a worried look stole over her features "I just don't know how I'm going to explain all this to the others."

"How _we're_ going to explain all this," He said firmly "But it doesn't have to be now, we are technically on our honeymoon after all!"

"I just don't like lying to them."

"We're not lying we're … prioritising." As they heard their friends' voices getting closer he sighed in exasperation "Can't a Draconequus be alone with his new wife once in a while?" He hissed "Would that be so very wrong?"

To his surprise, she shook her head "No Discord, it wouldn't," She whispered "Why don't you just get us back to the hotel? Quick before they find us!"

"Really?" His jaw dropped.

"Yes, Twilight's safe and Rarity, AJ and Spike are out of trouble," She pulled the room key from a pocket in his jacket and held it up, jingling it in front of his face "And like you said, we've already got a room!"

The moment she did it, he felt sick again – really nauseous "Oh no!" He gasped and bent double, dropping her onto the path.

He knew with terrible certainty what was going to happen and it was going to happen right here, right now – in front of everypony.

"Discord! What is it?" She wailed.

Twilight and their friends came running, drawn to her cry of distress "Fluttershy! Is that you? I just bumped into Jet Stream and he screamed and – oh! What's happened?"

They pulled up short when they saw the Chaos God leaning on the fountain, obviously ill.

"What in Equestria's wrong with him?" Twilight said "And where have all these bubbles come from?"

"He's not gonna blow chunks is he?" Rainbow stepped back slightly.

"Hey wait a minute, this fountain's full of champagne!" Squealed Pinkie in delight, leaning forward to stick her face into the froth " _Champagne_ , you guys!"

Fluttershy ignored them, lifting the Chaos God's face between her hooves "Discord? Speak to me! Are you ok?"

He clutched her shoulder and as she watched in horror, turned his head away from her and spat out another shimmering time sphere.

The globe caught on the edge of the fountain and span round and round the inside of the circular bowl like a ball in a giant roulette wheel, stirring up clouds of foamy bubbles. The six mares, the dragon and the Draconequus's heads all flicked back and forth to follow it until suddenly the fountain's jets activated, blasting the glowing ball into the air.

"Oh…" Said Fluttershy.

"…darn!" Discord finished for her as the bubble of accumulated time plummeted towards them like a falling star.


	15. Chapter 15

**You didn't think I was going to end it without showing the wedding, did you?**

* * *

Wednesday, 12.30am – The Hitchin' Post

"You have to help us, it's an emergency!" Fluttershy leaned forward over the counter and grasped the receptionist pony by the lapels. Now the cocktails had really taken hold, her usual reticence had deserted her.

The receptionist pulled away and smoothed the front of her jacket, looking at them over her horn-rimmed spectacles. The Hitchin' Post got its fair share of strange couples, but she had never seen one quite so oddly matched as this dainty, little Pegasus beauty and her large, scary, Dragon-like intended.

Nor so affectionate; they were clinging to each other for dear life, although it might also have been for support as both were swaying, obviously the worse for drink. Admittedly this wasn't so unusual either for couples who chose to wed at the Hitchin' Post.

"What's the emergency?" She asked flatly.

"We need to get married right away," The Pegasus turned and laid her head on the beast's shoulder "We don't want to ever be apart again!"

"I see. So you're wanting one of our wedding packages?"

"Yes, we're quite desperately in love!" Discord said earnestly, gathering his unsteady fiancee in his arms to stop her leaning over the desk and almost falling over himself "I cannot live another moment without making this glorious creature my wife." At this, the yellow mare nuzzled up to him, cooing some endearment which was unintelligible due to it being muffled by his furry ear.

The receptionist pony interrupted their canoodling by pushing over a sheaf of forms "Well I'm thrilled for you but you're gonna have to cool it for another three quarters of an hour lover boy," She told him "We've got some couples ahead of you."

"Forty-five minutes!?" Discord was outraged "Madam, have you no romance in your soul? I'm pining in outer darkness here! Even one minute's delay to being united with my precious little songbird would be an eternity!"

"Then that should give you plenty of time to fill out the forms." The receptionist answered dryly.

"Forms?! _Get them away from me!_ " He held up his eagle claw and hissed, like a vampire exposed to sunlight "How dare you use such language at a time like this!"

"Forty-five minutes." The desk pony said, unmoved.

Fluttershy looked almost as outraged as he was "Oh! But we don't want to wait that long!"

"Nor shall we, my beloved – the very nerve! The Master of Chaos doesn't do _paperwork_!" The Draconequus snapped his fingers and the desk pony suddenly had the very odd sensation that she was falling and sitting still simultaneously. Meanwhile, the hands of the clock on the wall seemed to shudder, jerking forward by three quarters of an hour.

* * *

Wednesday, 1.15am – The Hitchin' Post

"Hey! What just – " The receptionist started to say angrily, then she was cut off as the usher leaned in through the door and read hesitantly off a sheet "Miss Fluttershy and… uh… Discord; Lord of Chaos?"

The Draconequus and Pegasus both looked round eagerly "Yes?"

"You're up next!"

"It's us!" Fluttershy threw her forelegs around Discord's neck "Let'sh go!"

"But… but…it can't be your turn," The desk pony spluttered "You didn't fill out the paperwork yet!"

"Oh but you're mistaken;" The Draconequus said, airily waving a paw at her "We did it all just now. You helped us in fact, for which many thanks!" The receptionist looked down to find a sheaf of meticulously completed forms. Flicking rapidly through them, she could not – to her extreme annoyance – find any mistakes.

"You can't just waltz in here and – " She looked up and realised they'd already gone through.

"Did you do meddle with time just so we wouldn't have to wait?" Fluttershy whispered as they entered the ceremony room.

"I didn't _meddle_ , I merely _rearranged._ " He hissed back, then seeing her worried look "It's fine, I promish! I mean there's a slight risk of destroying the universe but I can totally handle it."

"Are you sure? You sound a little – hic – tipsy."

"I'm perfectly composh mentish my dear! Besides you're worth it, can't have you getting cold hooves!"

"I'm not going to get cold hooves silly!" She threw her forelegs round him "I just can't believe we're really doing this! It's so… so romantic! So crazy! I love it!"

"If you want crazy, I can do better than this!" He looked around at the decor "This wedding is definitely lacking some personal touches. Personally, I've always pictured you getting married in a forest glade, like the beautiful woodland nymph you resemble." He finished with a small sigh.

"When have _you_ ever pictured _me_ getting married?" She demanded disbelievingly.

"Oh come now, it's not as if I think about it that often," He winked at her "Only once or twice a day at most."

"Once or twice _a day_?"

"I er… ahem… stop it, you're spoiling my concentration!" He frowned, snapped his talons and a grove of huge trees sprouted out of the floor, growing until their branches were bending and coiling against the ceiling. Blossom began to drop onto the carpet like snow.

"They're lovely! Although… what's wrong with that one?" She pointed at one of the trees that was sobbing uncontrollably and wailing "It's all just so _beautiful_ man! I can't _take_ it!"

"Weeping Willow."

"I should have guessed."

He flashed her a smile "And I believe it is also customary to have flowers."

A snap of his talons and instantly a battalion of elaborate floral displays popped out of the walls. Several of the more exotic looking blooms were roaring and snarling whilst others were making noises like musical instruments.

She smiled "Tiger Liliesh, Snap Dragons, Blue Bells and…" She thought for a moment "Tuba Roses?"

"Ooh, you're good!" He thought some more "Hmmm, come to mention it, it is a bit grim without some music."

He snapped his talons again and a Mariarchi Band in matching sombreros and charro outfits materialised, playing a jaunty version of _"Besame Mucho"._

She laughed "I didn't know you liked this sort of thing!"

"Actually, I was trying for something with a bit jazzier!" He frowned in alcoholic bemusement at his claws; then shrugged as she pulled him by the arm, dragging him up the aisle. The registrar – an earth pony dressed in a rhinestone covered jumpsuit with his mane slicked into a tall black quiff – continued to stand open-mouthed and appalled until one of the ushers coughed loudly behind him.

"Thankyuhverymuch," The registrar mumbled finally "Now it's my understandin' you lovely folks wanna get married?"

Both of them nodded.

"It's so strange," Fluttershy thought while the pony reeled through his script "I've never really imagined getting married – and if I had I don't think I'd have pictured this – but it's _perfect_!"

As the registrar talked about love and faithfulness everlasting she half expected Discord to make some sarcastic remark but he was unusually quiet, subdued even.

"Fluttershy?" She looked up "Do you take this …. this er…" The registrar frowned, squinting at the Chaos God.

"Draconequus?" She prompted.

"Sure thing baby. Do you take this 'Draconequus' to be your lawfully wedded husband, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"And do you Discord; Lord of Chaos; Purveyor of Pandemonium; Harbinger of Disharmony, Earl of Turmoil and God of Entropy take – "

"You forgot 'Scourge of Equestria'" Discord interrupted, without taking his eyes off her "But I'm retired from scourging so I'll let it slide."

The registrar stared at him for a moment then hurriedly went back to his script "Do you take this mare to be your lawfully wedded wife, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do! I do! Did I mention I do? Because _**I do**_."

"Then by the power vested in me by the City of Las Pegasus, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Go on and love each other tender" He finished redundantly as they were already kissing before he'd even finished speaking.

As she pulled back and was surprised to see he looked a little emotional.

"Discord," She said "Are you… crying?"

He nodded "I promised myself I wouldn't but Flitterflutter I'm just – " He pulled an enormous spotted handkerchief from behind her ear and blew his nose rather loudly " – _so_ _happy_!"

She found that she was suddenly laughing and crying at the same time and he kissed her again.

"So what now?" He looked at the clock on the wall, it was 1.40am.

"Well," She gave him what he could have sworn was a sly smile and jingled the key to the hotel room in front of his face "We just got married, it's late at night – and lucky us! – we already have a room…"

"Oh?" He raised his brows in surprise " _Oh!_ Yes, quite."

He snapped his fingers and nothing happened.

"What's wrong?"

He grinned at her "Just making a few tiny adjustments back at the hotel, it's a surprise…"

"Discord, just get us out of here!"

"You have only to ask, Milady." In a flash they vanished.

After they'd gone, the registrar turned to the usher "Brother! That's gotta be the most gonzo wedding I've seen in all my years as a registrar!"

"Meh," The usher shrugged "You say that every night."

"I surely do!" The registrar smiled and slapped him on the back "Man, I love this town! Viva Las Pegasus!"

* * *

Thursday, 12.14am – Hotel Gardens, Las Pegasus Equine

The eight members of their party came back to themselves, groaning and rubbing their eyes as the disorientating effects of the time reflux wore off.

"Did anypony else just see that?" Applejack asked tentatively.

"You mean that really long and _detailed_ hallucination of Fluttershy and Discord getting married?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, that sure was one weird… _hallucination!"_ Rainbow Dash said in the careful voice of a pony who fears that the world might shatter or turn upside down at any moment.

As one the other six swivelled round to look at Discord and Fluttershy, who were in almost the same pose they had been in at the end of the wedding, locked in a clinch, staring into each other's eyes.

"That was… perfect!" He said to her, in slightly surprised tones.

"The most perfect wedding I could never have imagined!" She cooed, nuzzling her nose against his. Then they both seemed to remember they were not alone and turned slowly to see their friends standing there, open mouthed.

Fluttershy took a deep breath "Well I guess there's no point in keeping it secret any longer …"

"We got married!" Discord grinned maniacally _"Surprise!"_

"You did _what_?" Yelled the rest together (except for Twilight) as magical confetti and streamers rained down on them.

He shrugged as Fluttershy winced "Well, you did say there was no point in keeping it secret."

"Oh man, I think _I'm_ gonna blow chunks…" Said Rainbow.

"O-h-h-h-h that was soooo sweet!" Rarity was clasping her hooves together, tears in her eyes "Oh come on," She cried as the Blue Pegasus glared at her "You have to admit that was a pretty romantic wedding, even with all the chaos stuff."

"Ya mean ya'll _really_ got married?" Applejack gulped "That wasn't some crazy magical illusion?"

Fluttershy nodded "Yes we really got married, but we just – "

"Sugarcube why didn't ya'll say somethin'?!"

"It was only because – "

"Darling, how could you rob me of the chance to be your mare of honour?" Rarity said plaintively.

"I didn't think – "

"And you didn't even have a reception so I'll never get to be your party planner!" Yelped Pinkie.

"There wasn't time to – "

"And I'll never get to throw Discord an 'Ogres and Oubliettes' marathon bachelor party!" Cried Spike, then shrugged as Twilight shook her head in exasperation "Well, I won't!"

"We can still do that if you like, buddy." Discord said _sotto voce_ and he and the dragon grinned and high-fived each other.

"Forget about all that!" Dash interrupted "Fluttershy, how could you get married to _him_? The Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, remember?"

He bowed "Oh Dashie, you're as bad as the Registrar. You forgot Harbinger of Conflict,Purveyor of Pandemonium ..." He ticked off the titles on his talons.

She growled "Not to mention Royal Pain in the – "

"We didn't plan it Rainbow," Fluttershy interrupted her oldest friend "It just happened!"

"But _why?!"_ Dash wailed.

Discord snorted "Oh well I don't know – you just saw a flashback to our secret wedding where we confessed our undying love for each other and you want an explanation? I mean _come on_ , do I have to draw you a diagram?!"

He pulled a chalkboard out of nowhere and began to scribble complicated graphs and equations all over it until the chalk lines wriggled and rearranged themselves into childish stick drawings of himself and Fluttershy holding hooves and encircled by a huge pink heart. Lots of other little hearts also popped up with their initials inside until the whole chalkboard was covered in them.

"Oh, leave them alone Rainbow," Twilight said as the chalkboard vanished in a puff of smoke "Fluttershy you were right and I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to explain yourselves and I was out of line earlier,"

"Oh but Twilight," The Pegasus began "You don't have to apologise – "

"Yes she does!" Muttered the Draconequus.

"Yes I do, to both of you." The Alicorn sighed "Discord… I'm sorry I accused you of tricking Fluttershy. I didn't think you were capable of loving anypony but I guess… I was wrong."

"Oh well, thanks … I think." He frowned "Actually, I have something for you Princess, on the advice of my therapist," He handed her a small package. Twilight turned it over bemusedly. It felt like a book but as she went to tear the wrapping he stopped her "Ah-ah-ah! You can't open it until we're gone."

Before Twilight could respond Rainbow rounded on her "You knew about this? Why didn't you tell us for Pony's sake?"

"Oh Rainbow, let's not fall out," Discord looped an arm around the blue Pegasus and the Alicorn "You know once upon a time I'd have thoroughly enjoyed watching you girls pull each other's manes out, but now Fluttershy is my better half and you're all so close that makes us practically family!" Suddenly all of them were dressed in matching jumpers, grinning cheesily for a group photograph.

"Oh gross!" Rainbow yanked the brightly coloured sweater off as she made a gag face at him "I am _not_ related to you!"

"Not even distantly?" He said with big puppy dog eyes.

"Are you gonna start crying again _Dripcord_?"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" All of them started in surprise at Fluttershy's voice, even Discord and Rainbow Dash fell silent. The yellow Pegasus cleared her throat, continuing at a more normal volume.

"Girls? Spike? I'll talk to you all about this later but right now we're on our honeymoon and I'd like to enjoy it without any more fighting." As there was a general apologising and shuffling of hooves, her face softened a little "But …I guess if you want to we could always have a party when we get back to Ponyville."

She was cut off as Pinkie Pie almost knocked them both to the floor "Oh you guys are not gonna regret it! I'm gonna throw you the biggest "Let's Celebrate Our Secret Drunken Las-Pegasus Wedding" party Ponyville's ever seen! We can have balloons and music and – oh, Fluttershy! Maybe you could wear your glittery cabaret outfit again? In fact maybe we could all get matching ones?! And we could have cocktails and shooters to commemorate how you two got together and – "

" _Time to go?"_ Discord mouthed at Fluttershy. As she nodded vigorously, he snapped his talons and the two of them disappeared.

Pinkie looked around for a moment, then shrugged "Ah, we can finalise details later!"

"Well this vacation just jumped the sea serpent," Spike shook his head "I mean, Fluttershy and Discord? Who saw that one coming?!"

"Oh please darling, I know you're a dragon but what cave have you been hiding in?" Rarity said with a roll of her eyes "That's been 'on the cards' for months! I admit, I was surprised by the whole secret wedding thing, but it's been obvious for a simply ages!"

Twilight gave her an incredulous look "Really?"

"Trust me," Rarity assured her "Nopony likes tea parties that much!" She gave a little sniffle.

"Yeah, they've been seeing a lot of each other lately," Agreed Pinkie "And he barely looks at anypony else when Fluttershy's there! And she laughs at all his jokes, even the terrible ones. I mean, he's not _that_ funny!"

"Rarity, what are y'all cryin' for now?" Applejack asked the unicorn, whose mascara was streaking down her face for the second time in two days.

"Oh AJ!" The white mare sobbed "I can't believe the first one of our little group has already gotten married and I didn't get a chance to catch her bouquet; what if it's an omen that I'm never going to meet my fairytale prince?"

Spike patted her shoulder "Cheer up Rarity, from what we saw Fluttershy didn't even _have_ a bouquet! Maybe she can throw one for you when she gets back from honeymoon?"

"Oh Spikey you're right!" She blew her nose and dabbed her eyes "You always know just what to say to cheer me up!"

"And besides," Applejack reminded her "Ah'm not sure Ah'd call Discord a fairytale prince."

"Yeah," Put in Pinkie Pie "He's more the 'Prince of Darkness' type."

"Exactly!" Rainbow snorted "Exactly my point! I can't believe we're just going to let Fluttershy disappear off into the sunset with _Mr Cola Carnage?!_ "

"Well, she's Mrs Cola Carnage now," Twilight reminded her "And why would you try to stop them when she seems happy? And Discord seems… well…still weird and infuriating but he's obviously crazy about her. Maybe it'll work out." The Princess put a foreleg around Rainbow's shoulders and the Pegasus sighed and nodded reluctantly "Come on, the soiree's almost over. I'm not sure what trick they pulled on Jet Stream but now he's gone maybe we can actually try to enjoy ourselves?"

Rainbow grinned "You wouldn't know fun if it came up and bit you in the rump!"

"Oh no, not this again!" Spike groaned. Then he brightened up as he suddenly remembered "You guys know what? We've got ninety thousand bits to spend – we could have the biggest night out of our lives!"

Twilight giggled and then she realised something "Hey, I never opened Discord's gift." Using her magic, she began to tear at the wrapping.

"Ah thought we were supposed to give them presents, not the other way round." Said Applejack.

"It looks like … a photo album," The Alicorn opened the book and found an inscription on the inside cover _"To my friend, Twilight,"_ She read aloud _"Just in case somepony ever needs a little reminder, feel free to share. Big kisses. Discord."_ She raised an eyebrow and then turned to the first photograph.

"Maybe he's given you some snaps of the wedding?" Said Pinkie.

Applejack laughed "That's a mite sentimental for him."

"Well, maybe Fluttershy put him up to it?" Suggested Spike.

"Too sentimental?" Rainbow snorted "Are we talking about the same guy who was _crying_ earlier?"

"At his own wedding darling, be fair!" Rarity reminded her "I for one thought it showed a touching sensitivity on his part."

At the same moment, they all realised that Twilight had gone silent and was flipping through the pages with a funny look on her face.

"Are y'ok sugarcube?"

The Alicorn's lips trembled for a moment. Then she started to laugh.

* * *

Thursday, 12.30am – Discord's Hotel Room, both the Four Stallions and an alternate dimension

The surreal indoor sky had changed from pink to purple and blue when Discord and Fluttershy materialised back in his room, or rather the space that used to be his hotel room. It was a little dark but he clapped his hands and glowing candelabras sprang up in sconces on the tropical trees and the bedposts.

"Alone at last," He raised an eyebrow.

"Um yes…" She backed off a little "Just… give me a few minutes… would you Discord?" And she retreated into the ensuite bathroom, one of the few things he'd left relatively untouched (apart from the jacuzzi. And the marble plunge pool. And the carved gold taps and all that stuff … but you had to have some creature comforts!).

He heard her lock the door.

So, now he was sitting coiled on the bed. He was reading – or trying to read – a newspaper that he had materialised with a click of his fingers. He was really only able to skim the pages because, as it was something he had created, it reflected his state of mind. All the headlines said things like and "I Regret My Wedding Says Ponyville Pegasus", "Divorce Rates Soar amongst Interspecies Newlyweds," and "Is your New Bride Scared of You? Take our Pop Quiz and find out!"

"You can never believe anything you read in the papers nowadays!" He growled irritably to himself, tossing it aside "What can be taking her so long? I know females are traditionally supposed to spend vast swathes of time getting ready but that's usually before going out, not before staying in! I do hope she's not climbing out of the window…"

As he thought this, the door opened and a slender yellow foreleg emerged, in a long, glittering glove. He stared at it in astonishment.

The leg was followed by the rest of Fluttershy. She was wearing the white sparkly showpony costume.

"Where did you find that?" He managed to say eventually "I thought you didn't even like it!"

"Well, I got married in it didn't I?" She smiled "After all, I _am_ Lady Chaos now. I don't have to make sense all the time."

"Flitterflutter, you look…." He ground to a halt because he couldn't think of a superlative that would cover it. Also because she was slowly pulling one of the shimmering gloves off with her teeth.

Discord's eyelid twitched "You know," He said "It's funny how when whatshername did that it didn't have any effect on me at all but now I see you doing it, it really is very distracting and I find myself quite swept away by your charms, in fact you could say that I –"

"Discord?" She put her hoof to his lips "Stop talking."

He grinned "Yes dear."


End file.
